the words come less often
the images too
the tears aren't ink
but laughter will do

it's like waking up
or being born
the lessened pain
after the storm

it's not over yet--
the damage is bleak
but no longer we fly
nor numbness seek

it's not like forgetting
or hitting your head
but still a relief
to wishing we were dead

i don't know what to call it
maybe You do?
"Hope...?" i say
You tell me "true..."

I used think
Of suicide
All the time

How
When
Where

But really,
Suicide
Sounds like a lot
Of work

What I really wish
Is that death
Would just take me
And I wouldn't have to come
To it

That I would fall from great heights
But not on purpose

That a bear would eat me
Without prompting

That water would take me
Without my help

That I would just die
But not on purpose

Or even better
But truly impossible,

I wish I had never been born

That I had never disgraced
This world
With my presence

That I never
Met you
So you wouldn't have to pretend
To be my friend

That I never
Forced my
Ugly words
On people

I honestly wish I had never been born

So no,
I do not
Want to commit suicide

But yes,
I do want to die
Or have never been alive

To date,
We've felt so much hate
So before it's too late
Let's awake,
From our slumber of ignorance
I'll make you happy even at my expense
Because what I feel,
If you could feel it too

Then you'd be born anew

I was born alone
There was no mother to love me
and no father too
I was held in cold hands of the nurse
and then they cut the only connection
that I had to my family

At that very moment I was forsaken
denied the right to love in this earth
all I will ever know is hate
I shouldn't have existed
shouldn't have wasted air
to my family I was born dead.

I want to ignore you because it's easier
I want to love you because I miss it.
I want you to love me
Because I can't love myself.
I want to be your One because thats who I was born to be
Some people know that they were destined to be doctors or lawyers
I know that I was born to be yours.

This, today
Is your special day.

Twenty years ago today,
You were born to this world
By a loving lady and a tough man.

This, today
Is your birthday.

You were born
To love a lucky lady
And
You were born
To be loved by this lucky lady;

And I will stand by you
Through thick and thin.

You are my air.  I'll cling to you like how we all cling to life, space, and time.
*I will love you forever.
Happy birthday.