and they say a black hole weighs millions of solar masses; i don't know where that weight comes from. maybe it's from the guilt taken off the shoulders of the primordial gods, or from the chaos of the dying stars, or from the essence of every creature to ever live in this sad, bleak universe, and in the ones parallel to it.

and yet somehow, this celestial phenomenon has found its way inside my skin, and inside yours, and inside everyone's. and in some way darling, we've become the black holes we've learned to tame.

"there were black holes forming inside you, you see — all glorious, all millions of solar masses. so darling, maybe that was the time sighs started to become so heavy."

You sit up on your high perch
Face glowing, so beautifully
We gaze upon your light
Soaking it in and
Hoping to one day reflect it
To copy the moon and
Soon be near you

The tongues of fire worry no one
"We are safe"
They say
"What reason would they have to harm us"
And then stumble blindly towards
What they believe is good

And no,
You are not good
Nor are you bad
You are self centered
And have no awareness for others
Almost as if you
Have your own gravitational pull

And you are not kind
Nor are you cruel
You simply exist
And let the worlds revolve
Around you
Letting people get hurt
And doing nothing about it

For you
There is no good or evil
There is no light or dark
You are the light
You cast no shadow
And you live in the dark
It eats you up

You are unaffected by
Everything
Yet everything
Is effected by you

And everything wants you
So much so that
You implode
Under the pressure
And suddenly
You
Want
E v e r y t h i n g

And no one can resist

Yes, I was a poem
and so were you
Written on the same page
Of an old rusty book.
Both, started with the same word.
Both, written in the same style.
Both, packing the whole universe inside
Filled with magical fantasies.
You, with light of galaxies in your heart.
Me, with deepness of blackholes in my mind.
Words, written in star dust, composing us
Making us similar in so many ways
And yet our divergent interpretations,
Making us apart from each other.
You, a poem about union of lovers
Euphoric, buoyant, and glowing
Like glittering magical stars of night.
Me, a poem about act of separation.
Crestfallen, doleful, and gloomy
Like an abandoned house
In the middle of a desert.

i fall and shatter into so many pieces
that leave splints and gashes in so many people
that they fall and shatter
and lay here with me

astrophysicists have a thing with black holes
that mass, their chalked out event horizons.
i always thought i could be an astrophysicist
i could peer through my telescope
equations would litter my chalkboard
i would map the celestial bodies and
black holes.
i think i am an astrophysicist.
every day i peer through my telescope
lenses millimeters thick
i sit anywhere
equations litter my head, my parchment
the black holes are strangely visible with
my telescope, the pair of them
they beckon at me
i can feel the gravitational pull
no, you're not fat
never
but your pull tugs at me, my strings
heartstrings
so does my vision that naturally gravitates towards them
i think i will publish my findings soon.
i think i am an astrophysicist.

the day you appeared
was like nothing else
i mean you’d been there before
we just couldn’t see you.

we called you v161 mon.
for that, i apologize
it wasn’t my choice.

we raised you
the best we knew how,
but you still swallowed
anything that got close

now i’m old
and dying
and you’ll live on
for years.

hundreds,
thousands,
millions,
billions of years

and eventually fade
but even your
death will
take centuries.

I could talk about the black holes you have for eyes
It's like the light gets lost in those hazel eyes that see nothing but pride
Not by chance did we meet but it felt like my world was put in place
You've never questioned me
Saw me through my worst and best
you said before we fell in love you had never heard me laugh so whole heartedly
I can't say you complete me because it's your black hole eyes that ****** in me into your chest in between your ribs and settled into your warm heart that I desperately try to hold while we lay in each other's arms
and I place my hand over your heart just to make sure I can make you feel so breathless like you make me
You never completed me you took over me
I've been heartbroken so many times and for all the wrong reasons and I'm clinging to you so pathetically praying to the god I never believed in
That maybe you will be the one to put me back together like some ******* teen novel
It's been ingrained into my mind that I will find my wonder wall
I called you my wonder wall because I wanted you to be the that saves me because I believe you'll be the one to save me
But you've built up walls
Walls that you don't realize are up
And I sit there carefully prying and knocking on the stone walls
and I'll hide when you start to back off
But maybe I'm the one with walls
Maybe it's me who is the black hole that ***** in the light and life and everything that ever made me smile
Maybe I'll **** you in and never let you out and destroy you like I have been time and time again
Maybe my rage will smash you like a beautiful vase and leave you to pick up the pieces
But I don't want that
I want you to tame my rage
And close my black hole of a heart
Let your warm touch calm my now cold heart
And I can hear wonder wall playing in the back of my head every time I see you
every time I kiss you
Every time I kiss you it's like another black hole
******* me in and pulling me apart like I'm made of thread and your nimble hands pulled the loose string
You sewed an undone seam on your hoodie
The hoodie I took from you and wear every single night dreaming that it's you engulfing me instead of this fabric
The fabric that makes me feel safe and stops my worries and paranoid rambling
Just like you
You with black holes for a soul and a warm heart that jumps when I touch you
You with the eyes that make me blush
You with the nimble fingers that glide across my body
You with lips oh god your lips
You
You who will never see this
You who will break me or save me
You

Wake me up in the flush of a rainbow eye
I saw it bent through the tunnel I've been screaming off
I'm searching for a glimpse of a morning past
And I found you there
You followed me where I would die in a flash
I'm still here watching you dont you realize
Floating in confusion of absolute time
Now help me out

I've been hurting for a moment that turned me down
In a dimmer light
Not realizing how long it was when
We talked and the universe fussing round
I would die
in a minute

Remember it was spherical
Bounding you and me in the dark
But how we look
You fly away
I'm dying
I know it was theoritical
But I dont dream nor sleep
Fall slow and you've gone
I'm dying

Make my hand
in your grab
Just dont leave
I'll be broken down
and interfering our past
Even if I'd come through a wormhole
Could it be me hugging you alive?