My heart scans
for a familiar face
through throngs
of strangers
as they scatter
pell mell
around me
eager shoppers
casing brightly lit
sale stuffed store fronts
while seduced
by the siren song of fresh coffee
coupled with
sticky sweet cinnamon buns
suddenly
the bitter fact
swallows me
whole again
you no longer reside
anywhere
outside
of my dreams
In the weeks , months and even the first year after my husband's brutal death in 2002 , the occasional mall visit would turn into bleak despair every time . I automatically scanned faces looking for him, until I remembered suddenly that he was dead. I felt like I was on an island of heartbreak in the middle of a crowded mall. Life rushed past me during those times , and I felt like a total outcast, nothing in common with everyday life anymore.
