Lust is such a pain when held in the mind
A home to some solemn a morning
The outer rim of sight distorted
Never to see for I am blind

How arduous a task it must be filling this void within
Though you try to no avail still this longing persists
Never is it quite the same this flushed face hangs in singularity
Never is it quite the same the caress of her hand around your cheek

This warmth could never fully replace but yet seeks to comfort
On to my own left again am I to this bitter taste
As dark dreams are held fighting to resurface

What is it this wistful yearning to that which I despise
Casting aside vanity's vision as somehow I am left to my own demise
However monotonous the day to day may seem as my mind tapers on
To be trapped between her sheets I find ecstasy replaced with solitude's forlorn

For like moon that sits alone hung in the luminescence of a winters sky
So dull is the ache within my chest
As the darkened walls do double as they revolve around
Only to ruin what bliss I have taken upon myself

For tomorrow is to resurface
And so again I will chase the blame
For all the inevitable I attempted to thwart
Yet it all remains the same

Your presence in my life is antiseptic,
Germs like anger,jealousy and hatred are no more.
Your musical soothing words are
antibiotics,
My pride and ego has disappeared,
I am at peace.
Your beautiful smile is analgesic,
It has relieved me of tension and anxiety,
I am happy.
Your tender touch is anti-inflammatory,
It has soothed my pains and aches,
I am a better person.

the smell of cigarettes and cheap cologne
the length of legs, the depth of eyes
more medical trips and taxicab drives
blood tests, x-rays, candy bars from vending machines
visitors in lab coats
questions
touches
from cold metal, cold skin
antiseptic aromas
waiting in cold rooms, in backless hospital gowns
a flash of skin from the hot patient
next to me, an inviting smile
a ***** of crotches
a wheelchair comes
to take me
away


*Dec., 2002