When I was a youth
I expected the world to be good to me,
I expected people to treat me fairly, kindly and justly,
and I was disappointed, hurt and angry
when I was treated unfairly, unkindly and unjustly.

Now that I am wiser
I realise
that people are broken and suffering
and struggling to cope with life,
and they care more about their own survival and pleasure
than they care about being kind, fair and just to me,
so I no longer expect the world to be good to me
and I no longer feel disappointed, hurt and angry;
Now I feel compassion for people
And I take responsibility
to treat people fairly, kindly and justly,
and I make my best attempt
to lead people to treat me fairly, kindly and justly.

You gave me silken scarves and solitude
To weave my own bindings
You gave me surpluses of satin
Bandages for skin you broke
You gave me Swarovski accessories
As if it excused your absences
You gave me smooth apologies
A salve to my twisted fingers

What’s it like
To be young and wild
Carefree and a bit reckless
What’s it like to have friends
To party on weekends
To have relationships
Maybe a fling
What’s it like to be normal
Are you all happy like you seem
Because I seem to be dying slowly
And I’m upset with you all
I’m ANGRY
Because you never asked
Never wondered
If maybe
I wanted to be normal too
You just assumed
I was quiet and independent
I wouldn’t want in
Maybe I didn’t
But I do now
Now that I’ve pushed you out of my reach
I tell people how little I really do
They give me sad looks
But never reach out
I’m really rather unhappy
Because it would seem
All chance of happiness
Even just normalcy
Is kept out of my reach

Let me write you a letter
Open with my favorite line
"I miss you, and can't wait to see you"
What a lie.

I continue to write,
"My heart aches for you,
Oh how I love you"
But I know it's not true.

Oh how
Love Lies in a Pen.

So what's done is done.
The tide has come, the tide has gone.
Washing away with it all the feelings.

A marage of repent, coupled with a lack of focus.
Almost as if jumping was your worst fear,
But you did it anyway.

Expecting forgiveness, why though?
You were the one who jumped...
You acted.
And now the lights have dimmed upon your soul.