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Virginia Kasmi Jul 2017
Am
It's midnight and I hit the pause button,
Strech,
move slowly to the window.
Pull out a cigarette of my yellow box and light it up.
Fresh air touches my half naked body,
Tense skin, cherry-red *******.

It's almost 1am so I take my medicine,
White pill, blue pill, orange one, 25 drops
Bitter lips, thirsty mouth.
Lights turn off and I get  between soft, silk  sheets.

Heavy breathing, salty skin.
It's 02:07 as i scream for help,
Silent whispers of confusion as I realize it isn't real.
It's 02:40 I've got fire in my belly and ice in my chest.
Olive-green emptiness in my ****** eyes,
Close them tight
As I pour and shatter.
I am, too.
I am you when we go through...
The joys and horrors of passion,
The pain unnoticed by a lack of action,
The shame shamelessly felt over the time lost to fake connexion,
The blaze that burns and chokes us, yet we still want: agression,
The never aging ever breeding question:
Why?

I hope, too.
I hoped for too much, hoped like you...
But what to hope for without you, what to lose more, thought?
I hope that once the thought will cry as not the one that fell apart
Anyhow I just fought me when I hurt you and myself hard...
The more I hope the less I live, let this peaceful end turn to art!
But not that kind I used to will, not what steals, but tears a heart.
And how I still fall deep in dread holding onto the one last shard.
Wake up!

I try, too.
I tried so hard, but not with you...
In my past, goals were set easy, I even had more own choices.
You, a bright and playful mind, made good fun of ill-eerie voices.
Lazyness denounced us; yet we found: we still gain chances.
Trying hard was not an option, fights were in fact, pretty dances.
At one time or yet another, the game of life turned ruthless.
The first blows didn't even harm, but you became their witness.
Try again, fear not, improve!

I love, too.
I loved and worked with what you knew...
And love must sometimes has to bring its darker nature;
I always knew the only way to see new life is mature.
Too little were we to grasp then, how it will cause torture...
The first real thing you got to feel was withdrawal. Erasure.
All love came free, unrestrained, youth and beauty did a favor.
But no true love lasts, nor even sparks, innocent, creature.
Beware, accept refusal!

I hate, too.
I hated none once, haven't you?
We got them right first all the time.
Or second, third, in some next rhyme.
At one time, you were due to fail. I'm inerrant, how is this mine?
No, failure is never mine! We have lost and they did fine!
Hate is not so easy when you loved, as love, without a crime.
It creeps and piles up slowly in the ill-fed soul, like grime.
Forget, forgive!

I give, too.
I gave too little, gave too soon.
Or give too late and no love, hate or even a simple notice made.
Even ancient people saw that life, chemistry: they're about trade.
Give, take, count, prepare, we should have had learnt earlier...
Make, develop, mind, matter, we really should do this better!
I gave when asked, but afraid to ask, to give enough: I can never.
I gave what I got, shall I do just what I could if I must, forever?
Give, love and never give up!

I act, too.
I swear I do, just in case I excuse you...
I take actions, I say words, both are mighty, each one works.
I use language, I have thought, I may sound scary, I may scold.
Changes, in turn, demand patience, lots of actions, a good hold.
You, my dear mind, only you may make us walk the right way.
Think straight and wise when taking action, seize a fine day!
And when in need or a big excess, act quickly, make use, express.
Just act well and do work fine!

I die, too.
I die too, some day I'll die with you.
I am a spirit, but also a droid, a body, a vessel, a thinking fluid.
I am a being, trapped in samsara with a conscious ego and id,
And something above, all my brothers, fellow men and others,
Our selves live within others we know and they live in ours.
All my memories have parts of them within a universal they,
And finally I shall fade away, my actions call my life a day.
Live true, die happy!

I live, too.
I lived long and you minded me...
Who you are is all you do, say, write, love or hate, so choose!
Come together, be alone, do the homework, answer the phone!
Make your dreams work, to live your dream, make friends!
Come back home again, make love, live life, make sense!
Listen well, play music, enjoy games, don't panic, just dance!
Know us, know them, be yourself bravely, everyone will love it!
Maybe. ;)
To the one, who am I or rather you, who I am, too.
Paul Jones Jul 2017
I drift with the flow      that will carry me
a thousand miles far,     a thousand nearer.
12:00 - 02/07/17
State of mind: joy.

Thoughts: from thinking - If you listen very carefully and thoughtfully, directions can be found in everything... the choices we make; a yes or no to the emerging map of our existence, unfolding like the petals of a flower.

Questions: what direction is taken if given?
Morgan Paige Jun 2017
I aways say that I don't want you to fix me.
I don't need you to make me happy.

There's no need to pick my bones back together and
Sweep what's left of the my self esteem

I don't need you to lift the weight of gravity

To a bearable level
To a breathable level
To a level of density that allows me to stand on my two feet.

Alas

I always did.
I always do.

Come over unannounced and do nothing but help me do the dishes.
Tell me about the time you couldn't stop staring at the astronomy of my freckles,
freckles that are only showing in the sunshine
You are sunshine
Like a daffodil
I need you to grow
Please
Fix me
Paul Jones Jun 2017
The space between ethereal measure,
  the nothingness connecting our divide.
This lack of substance is surreal, obscure
  are old memories of sharing your side.
Ours is the spirit, by which we are bound,
  a realm we share where timelessness persists.
Where shapeless planes carry a formless sound,
  the self becoming selfless, unresisting.
The place you’ve gone does not belong to me
  and in the space between us, seeds are sown.
The tree of life sways softly with the breeze
  while you continue, beyond what I know.
Like wings that carry over to another shore,
  you are my leaf on the wind. I see you soar.
Sonnet - 18 -
Original version: 27/09/15
This version: 23/03/17

I can share this now.

Dedicated to my Father.
I wrote this sonnet for him and read it at his funeral.

It explore's the experience of still feeling deeply connected to something that is no longer. Even after their death, people still affect you and change you. Pieces to a puzzle are still being put in their place as we mirror ourselves and our actions to what they might have done. We learn about ourselves and the world from these reflections.

On an even deeper level, this sonnet explore's the ethereal connections we have to our ancestors and the past. Observing that, what is lost to us will be reborn, through it's decay, feeding new growth. The cycle of life.

          "I am a leaf on the wind.
               Watch how I soar".
                                               - Wash, Firefly
Àŧùl Jun 2017
I am never lonely in my life.

Ample memories of her I have,
Memories sweet and sour.

So many memories that I live,
Few I can despise but rest I love.
My HP Poem #1590
©Atul Kaushal
Àŧùl Jun 2017
You tell me that you love me,
"Oh thank you!" I say.
But you aren't happy with the answer.

And you keep on telling me so,
"I don't know what else to say."
I can only ever manage this.

My heart has been broken badly,
I can't tell you anything gladly.
Please understand and let me be.
I am sorry Kalpana Arora.
My HP Poem #1589
©Atul Kaushal
R M Jun 2017
I’m not everyone’s
cup of tea
My special blend of
crazy a bit too
bitter to the tongue
for some
But if you can
get beyond
the dark thoughts
and
scarred parts
I could be the
sweetest thing
you
ever tasted
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