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German Rodriguez May 2023
In the still of the night
I find myself alone
But I am not afraid
For I have overcome

Depression used to hold me down,
But I have found my way
Through the darkness and the pain
I have found a brighter day

So now I stay up late
With nothing but my thoughts
But I am not alone
For I have fought and I have wrought

A life that's worth living
A life that's full of joy
And though I may be by myself
I know I'm not a lonely boy

For I have learned to love myself
And to find solace in my mind
And now I am free
From the chains that held me confined
It's an all to familiar feeling to be awake late at night alone. It used to make me sad, but I've learned to love it. The peace, the silence, the solitude. My time to reflect, reminisce, and dream- yet not through sleep.
German Rodriguez May 2023
With the pendulum's sweep, my heart did weep
A soul engulfed in darkness keep
Depression's weight, a heavy plight
Concealed the stars, veiled the night

But from the depths, a spark arose
A flame of hope, my spirit chose
With weary steps, I ventured on
To find the dawn where peace was drawn

Alone I stayed, as midnight's guest
Embracing solitude, unrest
The moon, my guide, whispered in light
"There's strength in darkness, just hold tight."

Each lonely night, a battle fought
A testament to strength, I sought
With every breath, I rose anew
Conquering darkness, spirits grew

So let the night befriend your soul
Embrace the hours that make you whole
In solitude, find strength untold
As stars align, let light unfold
I've spent countless Midnight hours alone. It's one of my favorite times for me to create my rhymes.
Alio May 2023
When I close my eyes I feel the air of one warm summer night
When you and I were closer than before
When the sea met the mountains with no desert in between
And we danced in the thick ocean breeze without care.
No one was there to see us blossom and flower
And it was beautiful that way
Because the bees hummed in harmony
And the sand hugged our bare feet
And the fire’s light licked your face
Casting the most magnificent moving shadows

And you and I were basking in our prison of solitude
Like the birds that tangoed overhead
But calming clouds above can be deceiving
And floating pillows turned to billows of rain
And thunder ripped us apart
It shook our houses and roared in our ears
And its lightning charred us
till our flesh seared to bone
Fire and brimstone and the end of the world.

And I never saw you again…
Zywa Apr 2023
It makes me lonely

that no one sees how serious --


things are for me now.
Novel "Ik ben er niet" ("I'm not there", 2020, Lize Spit), page 249

Collection "Shelter"
There they were…
Lying on the bed, with her head resting below his shoulder, listening to his heart beat, and praying it never stops.
One leg draped over him, as if she was afraid he’d free from her embrace. As though her leg, a restraint, holding him in place, keeping him from leaving.
Her arm resting on his body with her hand on his chest.
There they were…
The safest place she could think of.
Her favorite place to be.
She was with him.
Their love, shielding them from the chaos of the outside world, while she silently worries, that he’ll someday leave.
He notices, and reassures her… he’s here to stay.
“He’s here to stay!” She thinks to herself. She’d finally won the fight against her own mind.
He said it himself! He won’t leave!
She could finally feel at peace.
His reassurance and validation was all she needed to believe.
And just like that, she could finally sleep. See… he made her feel safe.
He said “Let me love and protect you! That is the job I want!”
So she let her walls crumble, opened the door, and she let him step in.
He dusted the cobwebs, and drew back the drapes. He painted the walls and straightened the frames. He fixed the creaky doors and floors, and mended broken shelves. He brought light to the darkness, and color to the grey.
He even bought flowers for the empty vase, that had seen better days.
He just strolled in, and he made it a home suited for two.
He said “no more need for walls” and he put in a sparkling moat. “You’re safe with me, you can rest and unload.”
She didn't yet know, that what she’d need protecting from, was him.
For when he’d rip it all away.
He loves her.
He loved her.
Up until one day…
And there they were.
Both, unaware and unafraid.
A poem born of fear, because if he leaves, it’ll shatter me.
Notepad Feb 2023
Another wave
A moment to lose
A pain to embrace
What more could I do?

I wish, I hope, I pray and I mope
Maybe it was me, maybe it was you
Maybe we just couldn't speak the truth

We were more than we could share
How long does it take to tell a tale?
Maybe I'm not worthy, maybe asking is too much
Must be best to be less
Let words be left unsaid

Silence may not be my friend
But through time until the end
It's all I have left
My arms are cold
Broken Pieces Feb 2023
Down,
           Down,
                       Down.
The farther I fall the darker it gets,
Lost,  
         Lost,
                   Lost.
Everywhere around me I feel these threats.

I’m falling faster but I can’t slow down,
All these eyes are looking at me as I look around.
My head is shrinking, and it begins to pound,
An escape is nowhere to be found.

Can someone help me?
Can I even be seen?
Please just somebody, Please just help me get free.

Stuck in a loop, forever feeling alone,
Putting myself out there but I remain unknown.
I just want someone to see my true self,
I’m tired of putting her away on the shelf.

I fall faster into the deep abyss,
The old times I simply reminisce.
As the loop continues, the void grows,
I feel like I’m dead and I’ve begun to decompose.

Falling,    
             Falling,
                          Falling.
Is anyone out there?
Alone,
            Alone,
                       Alone.
Now I’m losing my air.
anita Feb 2023
sometimes my hardest nights are my best ones.
the nights where i am lonely, but not alone
the nights where i stare up at the sky
and see all those stars
and i realize that the world is so infinite
the nights that remind me that we are all just trying our best
and we all feel like strangers in our own bodies sometimes
and that despite how much we try to convince ourselves otherwise,
things
will
be
okay
i can't get out of my head
Cerasium Jan 2023
I smile
I laugh
I play the part
While none the wiser

It’s easy to hide
The emotions deep inside
After all I’ve done it all my life
It’s second nature to me

You see this happy face
A face full of fun and joy
Nothing could be wrong
..Right?

The facade is perfect
Even my mother who raised me
Could never tell what lurks below
Those shining sky-like eyes

No one sees beyond this guise
Not even the old and wise
For if they did their gaze would change
To one that’s fearful of my path

For below the kind demeanor
There’s nothing there
Emotions driven out
Heart locked tight

To afraid to fight
The bitterness of life
For behind closed doors
All that’s left is silence

Bitter silence
Painful silence
Ears ringing
Head heavy

And that’s then the voices
Come out to play
Sending you deeper
Into the darkness of your mind

Angry voices
Vicious voices
Disgusted and condescending
Hateful and spiteful

Uttering insults
Running scenarios
Warping your mind
Destroying your ability to trust

And there you sit
Broken and numb
Feeling nothing but emptiness
And the bitter snap of true loneliness

Loneliness that destroys you
Leaving you to feel dead inside
You start pulling away
Not telling anyone your truth

Constantly smiling and laughing
Without a care in the world
All while rotting inside
Til you’re nothing but a shell
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