I’m a few hours
and minutes
and seconds
away from adding a year
to my relatively irrelevant age
and I contemplate the complexities
of such a small number.

Nineteen.

Legally an adult,
but not nearly ready
to enter the world
on my own.

I cannot even fathom  
               braving the hallways of
               horrendous high school
or
               supporting myself and
               being on time for my insurance
               all while balancing a career

I’m stuck in the middle
of this whirlwind
of emotions and numbers
and candles and time
and homework and paychecks
and everything else
that comes with the titles of
student and teenager
and adult and employee.

It’s minutes before
I can blow out the candles
on eighteen
but I also extinguish another bit
of dependence.


*August 10, 2014
9:13:43 PM

All us teens live for
Is crazy Friday nights
Filled with drunken confessions
And flashing lights
Swingin records
And fights with our ex
Dancin, liquor
And mind boggling ***
-CsR

Everybody died today,
metamorphosis - never completed.
Maturity entrapped the folks,
even the children, teeny, tiny babes,
The stars never danced in their eyes;
the sky wouldn't allow Starry Nights.
I only ever told stories, those Wisdoms
passed on from my grandpap,
dissed in the corners of the streets,
I look up for my internal stars
and wish these people would combust
and finally clear the air
so my grandpap could breathe.

he only wanted to be heard


7/30/14
PPropper

I just want to be a kid again.
Maybe when I was still ten,
life used to be so easy then.
But of course, reality strikes again.

Why can't we be a kid again?
No work, just playing in the play pen.
Play alone or play with a friend.
How I wish that it never ends.

But all is based on the "now".
Hoping to find ways to be a kid, somehow.
Whether it was the time I still looked like an angel.
Or the time I still didn't know anything, and was in a cradle.

A busy night last night, heaven knows
Must have had more ****** than a rose
Love the money, of that there's no doubt
But I'm really ******, completely worn out

It was my choice I know, to become a *****
But not sure how much longer I can do it for
***** breath , fat old farts grunting and groaning
Me, pretending I'm enjoying it with fake moaning

Was only sixteen when I first started in the game
Head, hand jobs or ******* to me is all the same
Happy to try any game the customer wants to play
As long as they have money and are willing to pay

I caught the ***** once from some ***** old ******
Another time I did catch the dreaded venereal disease
Other than that I have kept a nice clean and healthy box
Guess condoms and good luck have kept away the pox

As i get older though, I think more about settling down
Maybe one day I'll be able to rope in some rich old clown
Don't want to live forever in the fast lane running wild
I would even like to give birth to my own sweet child

But now it is day time and I really must get some rest
Because again tonight I'll be out doing what I do best
I'll be ******* policemen, doctors, lawyers and scholars
And again I'll come home with another fist full of dollars

I was once a singer, a famous rock star
Every one loved me, I was so very popular
Sang with the best, up there on the stage
**** Jagger, The Beatles and even Jimmie Page
  I sang in all the big cities, all over the world
  I was so happy, being such a star, a popular girl
  Making so much money, but I was running amuck
  Forgot my friends and family, I didn't give a ****
No one else mattered, I was the important one
Forgot about my husband, and my dear little son
The things that really mattered, I'd lost all sight
There were lots of groupies, and parties every night
  Lots of *****, men, and the drugs, were never short
  If I ever felt bad, some powder I would snort
  No one ever told me, that I was doing myself harm
  By injecting all that ****, into the veins of my arm
I'd awake some mornings, feeling a ****** mess
But after some drugs, I became again, a Goddess
Everybody loved me, I was their favourite daughter
I thought the same, thought, I could walk on water
  One morning I awoke, all shattered and broke
  No alchohol to drink, and no grass for a smoke
  All my friends deserted me, left me for dead
  Said that I was definately, ****** in the head
It was all over, my life of ***, drugs and fun
My husband had long gone, and took with him my son
I had bought it all on myself, of that, there's no doubt
Spent a week in hell, just crying  and drying out
    I had lost everything, my good looks and my wealth
    And I was skin and bone, not a picture of good health
    Broken down I was, all drug ****** and spent
    Dragged myself outside, to the hospital I went
For weeks I was there, in bed on a drip
The truth and reality, I wanted to grip
Slowly I came good, to God I needed to talk
Then two weeks later, I could finally walk
    I'm living in a rehab center, at this very time
    Please don't worry about me, I'll be just fine
    I'm now a faded angel, don't deserve a lot of glory
    Just hoping that someone, learns from my sad story

Her hairy old **** was full of scabs and cheese
Didn't stop me from going down on my knees
I spread her lips and brushed away a fly
Then slipped my tongue so deep inside
My God, she was a real filthy old *****
Her ****** did smell, oh what a stench
Never had I been down on something so foul
But I'm a sick *****, I went for the growl
The ***** hair was full of *** and ****
Had the ***** ***** wiped her **** on it?
There were even traces of menstrual blood
Does she *** normally or does she flood?
I was ******* her ****, didn't want to hurt her
How was I to know that she was a squirter
She shot *** and **** all over the ceiling
Oh what a sight, oh what a feeling
Then I filled her hole with my scabby old ****
Yes my pecker was covered with warts and pox
Maybe you think we are two filthy, ***** freaks
But she loves my *****, banging on her **** cheeks
When we had finished, a sight I'd never seen  
She called the dog over and he licked her clean
That was more than i could take, it's true
I had to go outside and have a great spew
But I'll go back again, there is no doubt
Coz that shiela loves, for me to eat her out
And I can never forget how well I rode her
While getting off on her smelly body odour
Next time, if she's got the rags and is a bit red
I'll just stick it up her ******* instead  
I'm not fussy, my tongue will still be stuck in
Nothing wrong, my friend with the Dolmio grin