Blinded by disease I lost sight of you.

Your words spoken by the voice of my demon.

I felt your love, though the intentions got twisted.

Your touch, familiar yet foreign.

I'm losing it again, reality.

My mind, a place of dark whispers.

I get asked every day

Like why "I am so crazy?

**** I've been like this since day one

Life feels like an empty High-way

If you got ADHD like I do

You won't feel so lazy

each one of us

has a different story

you wish you can be just you

stay focus while driving your car

don't need to worry about taking the bus

anymore, overthinking again

hoping you wouldn't get bullied

teens like me, are afraid to get a little bit too high

Cause, the drugs will mix with our medication.

Our ADHD got us all Tripping

I pray to god hoping that one day i will stop doubting

All the feeling i hide within my mask

I can't even smile cause all  feeling

has us all overwhelming

we all have the same question we got to ask

no one knows how we are dealing

we just hold it all in and smile

and pretend like we all love our life.

Remember you are perfect just the way you are

Don't let your ADHD stop you from reaching your goals

you can wish upon a shooting star

get back up on your feet, and fill these empty holes.

Remind yourself everyday

you are a gifted child with ADHD

that is one of the many reasons why

you are so unique

There is no prize for winning fights
There are no spectators nor screams
There are just long nights and troubled dreams
We play by worldly rules
We are punished by the same
By them we are fools and dubbed insane
Outcasts we are and outcasts we'll be
Until one day we can show them why and bid them see.

I'm afraid I'm not so good at this writing thing
Everyone seems to have a way with words

I just chatter on til i feel like my soul is free
Or maybe, it's til my soul reveals that it's empty

Either way

What was I saying again..?

Oh yea,

I'm afraid I'm not so good at this writing thing

My hands do things I’m not aware of

They hide my keys
In the pockets
Of freshly laundered pants

Behind
Under
Inside many
Many
Pieces of furniture

Dangling from my bicycle lock
(For 3 hours)

Hanging from the front door lock
(All day long)

By a flower growing
In the crack
Of a sidewalk
That I had knelt down
To examine

In the fridge
Yeah
I know

My hands lock my keys up
In the backyard shed

In the trunk of a car

In a car’s ignition
With the motor running
No joke

And of course
Inside my house
While I am
Outside my house

One day my hands
Unbeknownst to me
Will lock all of the doors
And throw all of the keys
Away

So many years
Feeling bad about myself
Berating my being
For being
Fundamentally flawed
Fragmented
Irreparable

I wish someone had noticed
Me
Pulling the hair off of my head
Me
Flailing about
Like a trout
Out of water
Me
Stepping on
All of the rakes
Unintentionally
But also
Sometimes
Fully aware
Of where
They were lurking in the grass

And I wish they’d said
To me
Stop
Stop
Stop.
Breathe.
Look around.
You’re ok.
You’re ok.
You’re beautiful
And young
And you couldn’t possibly know
How quickly time runs away.
So stop.
Stop saying
What’s wrong with me?!
You can stop
Because I’m here
To tell you.

What is wrong
With you
Is
That life
Fooled you
Into thinking
That there’s something wrong
With you.

Thoughts race like lyrical melodies.
Repeating themselves like a chorus.
He can’t take the incessant chattering.
The yes, no, please make it stop of it all.

It’s too much to handle.
Handle, like he’s riding a bike with the handles disconnected.
A wall in front of him, no way to steer.
No way to brake.
Can’t get it to stop.

Here comes the verse again,
“You will hurt those you love.
You will hurt those you love
You will hurt those you love
You have hurt those you had loved.”

The verse came in,
“Attention-deficit with hyperactivity, anxious, obsessive-compulsive,
Insomniac, bipolar, with substance dependency.
A basket case with narcissistic traits, but the self-esteem that makes him drown while everyone else floats."

Stated in the order of chronological diagnosis.
Each a bookend to a chapter of his life.
Collecting disorders like pokemon cards.
Being the worst there ever was.