The grand, Dutch doors inside your eyes
slammed themselves shut
and this time was different because
I knew you would not be letting me back in.

I knew there would be no espresso
or red, Spanish lace stockings or you
forgiving me before *******
the breath out of me.

I knew on the nights I was a ghost
you would no longer visit my cemetery.

I knew when the old heart jar
began swimming frantic laps within my stomach
you would no longer burn lavender incense
or tuck me into bed.

I knew there were goodbye's
that felt like black, hot concrete
on bare feet.