“You’ll feel so much better,
When the meds start to kick in.
Just give it some time,
And keep your mind open.”

I’m kicking in doors and
I’m breaking glass dishes
And none of it brings me
Any closer to wishes.

Of healing. Of wholeness.
Of anything sane.
Of something, just anything,
To scrub out the pain.

No line of poetry, no act of god.
No deep breathing method or trip far abroad,
Will pull me from these depths that I’m in.
I can’t start to get better
if the meds never kicked in.

We all grew into our ears and our teeth
Our opinions and our feet
Our clothes and chubby cheeks
We grew out of our music tastes
And other peoples mouths
Learned what it was like to love and be loved
Learned what hate looks like
What scars on hearts instead of arms looked like
We grew out our colored hair
And washed career dreams like astronaut and superhero
Down the drain
With someone else's sweat
Got used to sleeping in someone else's bed
Burned our memories of them
We grew into our faces
And out of our blind faith
We lead more then we follow
We fall in love with the concept of tomorrow
We learn the ability to bully instead of being bullied
And finally learn to rise above it all
We learned where we come from cannot change
But we can
We learned the city isn't always beautiful
That there are problems and trauma in silence
That sometimes the most peaceful thing you can do is scream until it makes sense to you

One line down
Only one to go
A waiting game
And a hopeful soul

One line down
One line stays
It won’t be there tomorrow
It isn’t there today

The world is my oyster, but I'm allergic to shellfish.

Brown eyes,
reflected in tide pools of blue.

Nostalgia covers you like a wave,  
and warms you for a moment.

But when it recedes,
it only leaves a cold reminder of its absence.

I found a bunch of my old writing today.

None of it seemed to move me the way you used to.