I tried losing weight,
I was certain I was good at eating
So I let my insecurities devour me.
"Ugh who the **** is that monstrosity?"
Staring in the mirror became difficult,
I became a vampire, creating a house
without any mirrors in my vision
and as I slowly saw myself submerge
deeper into that monstrosity in the mirror
I realised, this is no longer a home,
this is a house, this is a judgemental house
where even the mirrors
are eating at my internal flame
and as my candles flickered
I knew I was never going to ever look good
So I starved myself over and over,
And when the scales read my weight,
I saw "Math Error" or "Syntax Error",
Because I knew, I was everything wrong.

I to this day, hate the way I look,
And everyday as I drive
My front view mirror reflects-
A ******* monstrosity.

one day the rain didn't come
her suicide note read,
i'm sorry i was nothing more than a life of falling

I stopped looking both ways when I cross roads
In the end.
Nothing really matters,
Why should I even bother.
Crossing roads to get to your destination
In the end, no matter how much patience
You have. Somehow you will still
Be walking to your destination alone.
There's no points looking both ways crossing the road
There's no point breathing.

I'm dealing with heartbreak
In the same old familiar way
By breaking everything around me
And blaming it on you

By breaking myself
Because I feel I deserve the pain

~    
        All the poems I write
     are just the beginning
                              and end
               of every thought
   I've ever had about you.