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I called my mum
last night
to see if I was still
alive,
and we’re on bad
terms,
I was holding a
box knife
to my neck

And although I cried,
we both
decided
it’s best not to
wish on 180°
lines
for a girl,
although I swore
half-heartedly
There are patients,
and those clients;
reliant on this system
And many of whom
will die by their own hand,
when they’re anxiously
tapping their foot,
on this red-dotted rug,
in this closed room,
hesitant to tell anything,
and deciding to say nothing

When they’re found,
rotting away and blank,
The system, of course,
needs to someone to blame
“They came in with
a smiling face,
and they said it was all okay”
Although they know,
their own policies
discourages truth,
and red-dotted rugs in
comfortable rooms
listen very closely
to the words you’re
already terrified to say,
notes will be taken,
and you’ll be locked away
The mental health systems in many countries need serious fixing.
Drowned in
the beneath
In the hollow
you filled,
but it was only
there I could
hope to breathe

You sat on
the curb,
full of regret?
outside your
best friend’s
house,
with dots
in your stomach

They said
to count to ten,
in the kindest
most urgent
voice,
but they squinted
their eyes,
and looked at
you sideways

They cut
you in a perfect C,
but no one
smiled,
no one
dared to speak
Syd Hafner Jun 8
Pack your things,
grab my hand and run
And if all goes according to plan,
we should be in Chicago
before your Daddy can get his gun
Leave a note
on the bed for your Mom
Don’t let her worry, but let her know
that she did something wrong
If it’s what
Leviticus eighteen said
then let’s live together in sin
Syd Hafner Jun 8
Your mistakes are
       turning you and
turning you back,
but your excuses
       run only to run on past
And I promise
the acknowledgement
       promises
you aren't like that
Although I
truly believe
your heart was in
       the right place,
it never did any
      right for me
Syd Hafner Jun 4
I was proud
of my new red swimsuit,
but I'm not proud
of it now

He touched the strap,
and said "look
around,
it's just us now",
so he helped me
undress
and threw my
suit on the
ground

Down by the river,
we didn't wear
our clothes
He put a finger
to his lips and said
no one could
know

Although
he grinned a
grin filled with guile,
At the time,
I mistook it for
a brotherly smile

I had been so proud
of my new red
swimsuit,
but I can't wear
a red swimsuit
now
Syd Hafner Jun 2
The electricity's out,
as some power poles,
were knocked down
last night
And the TV has no signal,
the **** radio's broke
The flies aren't buzzing
around the only light,
as we use flashlights to
see each others eyes
And I wonder,
does she see the fear in mine?
The beer is stale,
the coffee is cold,
and the only warmth between us,
is the tip of my Marlboro Gold
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