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marry someone who lets you have a bite of their brownie , 
even when you said you weren’t hungry . 
marry someone who laughs at the same things you do .
marry someone who kisses your nose on a cold day . 
marry someone who you can watch disney movies with . 
marry someone who is proud of you whether you earn $5 a week or $5,000 a week . 
marry someone who you can tell everything to . marry someone who isn’t afraid or embarrassed to hold your hand in
public .
marry someone who you can spend the day in Ikea with without feeling stressed . 
marry someone who wraps you up inside their coat in the winter . 
marry someone who accepts your fears and phobias . 
marry someone who gives you butterflies every time you hear their key in the door . 
marry someone who you don’t always have to shave your legs for . 
marry someone who accepts you all day every day , even when you don’t look or feel your best . 
marry someone who puts three sugars in your tea , despite telling them 
“ just the two ” . 
marry someone who doesn’t judge you when you eat your body weight in cookies . 
marry someone who doesn’t make you want to check your phone, because you know they will reply .
marry someone who waits with you to get on the train . 
marry someone who understands that you need to be alone sometimes .
marry someone who gets on well with your parents and isn’t uptight about family events . 
marry someone who calms you down when you get mad about stupid stuff , and never tells you it’s “ only stupid stuff ” . 
marry someone who makes you want to be a better person . 
marry someone who makes you laugh . 
marry someone who you love . 
marry your soulmate , your lover , 
your best friend .
When I was little
I would stare up at
My mother and think to myself
That's what I want to be when I grow up

I wanted nothing more than
To become my mother
Who tucked me in
Kissed my scrapes

Who nurtured me
Brought me water when I was
Sick and sang me to sleep
And who told me how strong I was

Little did I know
That moms are dished out
Their own servings of problems
But my mom was different

She was served piles of
Left overs and week old bread
Water unfit for a dog
And dessert was scarce

Later I learned I was the dessert
So was my father
Though he was more sour than others
She didn't care, she loved it all

But as I've grown older
The piles of unfit food
Are tumbling down
Right on top of me

My mother's food labeled
Bipolar, depression
Anxiety, self harm
Body image issues and so much more

More than one person should
Be dished up, more than
One person can stomach
Too much for the plate to handle

The plate is cracked, chipped
Used, with a residue still blanketed over
And we've learned our eyes are bigger than
Our stomachs and we attempt the plate alone

But you can't handle a full course meal
If you're stomach is so small

I've learned that even though
Doctors label my mother
Crazy and unstable
I still crave to be her

Because she's survived through
What seems like everything
And she is not only alive
But my mother is living

Maybe not the way she imagined
But she still tries to make
The best of each day
She does so much with so little

Yes, I still want to be my mother
I want to be strong and brave
Kind and nurturing
I want to be everything she thinks she isn't

Because she is my everything
I love you, mommy.
 Dec 2013 Susie Nuttall
kelly
you.
 Dec 2013 Susie Nuttall
kelly
I get nervous around you.
I feel my heart drop to my stomach.

Your smile warms my heart
And freezes time.

You have eyes like no other
They stare deep inside of me
They know my deepest secrets
And my most broadest details.

The way you look at me
Like you miss me
Like you hate me
Like youre unsure of what love really means

You can lie to yourself all you want
I'm still with you
The reminisce of me haunts you at night
You love me
But you have that macho man way of life
So you can't love me.
But you want to
I hope.

The way your lips move
Is like no other.
Its smooth like a hockey puck on ice
Its words travel like teenage kids trying to escape
Their lives.
Something I know you wanna do.
Everything you say,
Everything you do,
Leads me to believe
You just want to leave.
I know I'll never be the same
A vicious wind offends my frame
And as I push against its will
I fight alone, I'm standing still
I hear my bones, they rattle on
A tune is made, becomes a song
And it is all that I can do
To sing along and think of you
Until I fall upon a note
And get it stuck inside my throat
My face is blue, my voice is lost
And I continue being tossed
For every change direction takes
My vocal cords reverberate
The echo fades and so do I
In silence rest - my last goodbye
 May 2013 Susie Nuttall
Jessica M
my body is still warm in the
places where you pressed
  against me as you
****** out from my bones
any ounce of apathy
I might have had left
  and my guts flutter
violently like a moth trapped in a glass box
  and I can't wait
to never have to see you again
because I could love someone who is
seven times better than you
        but right now
    my waist can't stop remembering
    the places your fingers sometimes liked to rest

I suspended my disbelief for you
but you forgot me somewhere
   like a flea
   behind the cigarettes and ******
   behind the pretty girls who tease
   behind the marrow in your knees
but some mornings, you wake up panicked
swollen with the sweat of something you might have once dreamed
 May 2013 Susie Nuttall
st64
Another chance, a new approach
Waiting in the wings for you
Waiting in the wings for you.

What else is waiting there? (x2)
Waiting in the wings for you
Waiting in the wings for you.

So, take your time, enjoy the ride
Waiting in the wings for you
Waiting in the wings for you.

Yeah, enjoy the ride...while you can
Waiting in the wings for you
Waiting in the wings for you.

For you never know
What else is waiting there
Waiting in the wings for you . . . .


Refrain:
Dare you hasten your destiny?
Only to regret your impatience . . . .


What seems to be boredom now
Is simply biding grace time
Waiting in the wings for you.

And that is not so bad at all
Waiting in the wings for you
Waiting in the wings for you.

For you never know
What is waiting there
Waiting in the wings for you.


S T, 30 April 2013
Give things a chance.....quit bein' so hasty......

Like some wise person once....all good things come to those that wait, but better things to those that hustle!

:)
 May 2013 Susie Nuttall
Sun BLVD
Half of the time it slipped my mind
I'm not ignoring the thoughts
Pouring out of your membrane
I noticed the game change when you decided to stay
I must say
I never thought we'd still be here
I'm still feeling the same fears
I remember you left before
We've been here before
A million times before
So of course walking towards the door seems logical
If I didn't know
You'd probably go and chase me down
Before I even stop to catch my breath
So what's left of the path you choose to take
Avoiding the wrath of your previous mistakes
And if for heaven's sake
I choose to find the meaning in what the hell I've been doing with my time
Half the time it probably slipped my mind
What we were fighting for
Because I ignore the voice telling me to hide from the boogie man
He only wants to hold your hand
He'd rather keep you in complacency because he is content
Creeping on me
Sleeping on me
I guess because my pillow top is comfy
Pillow talk is humming
Something tells me these words sound untrue
But he knew
**** he knows how to unlock my secrets slipping in and unveiling my soul
How long will it last
Lust ain't the meaning of love
Taking your word for it ain't the meaning of trust
And if I'm honest I'd say you don't know me at all
We having only existed in the space between these bedroom walls
If these four walls could talk all they'd have to tell
Is a story of a romance that grew aflame
And the lovers who turned to looking for an easy escape
Because neither of them knew how to say...
I love you

— The End —