why do you never want me the way i want you?

I have bad habits,
and a good heart
the two never balance out beautifully
they don't fall in love like the first time,
when you're awkward and naive and sixteen,
on front porches and wired from caffeine,
they don't hold hands in July when it's too hot to think,
like lovers do at that age, eager to experience that innocent feeling
in color, over and over.
I have bad habits,
and a good heart; the former always wins,
they don't dance under autumn trees like lovers at 16,
they sting like the first heartbreak.
The kind of repurcussions that tip boats made to withstand
storms that even solid land could not endure,
I have bad habits and they make sure to show.
I have a good heart
but it barely matters
because what's a good cup
when the rest of your china is shattered
and even worse,
by your own actions.
I have a good heart, and bad habits,
the two don't balance or dance,
they bicker and bend.
I have a good heart,
but that's merely defense.

skins aren’t skins
in this world.

they’re

death threats
inked permanently
on your bones
covering your body
with scratches and stereotypes,
bringing bruises and bullets to your head

and the only way to stay safe
is if the ink is white.

skins are signs
to know which ones
will pay the price
if you close your eyes
you will see the color
to marginalize

warped in a wrapped world
do we even see beyond
what pigment we have
or are we
wrapped around a warped world
where pain is really
skin deep.

isn’t it strange?
we live in a world where
the color of your skin
indicates how people
see you and
the darker it is,
the more invisible
you become.

i wish
we were all
color blind.

day one: you asked me if i was okay as i tried to hide the tears that were spilling down my face. i looked at you and my heart stopped right there and whispered, "hello old friend, I've been waiting for you"

day two: i woke up to a good morning text. i knew this was the beginning.

day three: we threw rocks in the river and you laughed as i slipped off my shoes in the dark and waded into the ice cold water. i told you how it made me feel alive to have it biting at my skin

day four: you told me it was a bad idea, that we weren't allowed to do this as your kisses led there way from the nape of my neck to the horizon of my lips

day five: i realized how beautiful you were when you spoke about the things you loved, how your smile threatened to consume your whole face.  but i also realized how beautiful you looked when you talked about the things that hurt, the things that you would never forget no matter how hard you tried

day six: i thought i would know you forever, in whatever sense that meant, i thought you would stick around. i realized how delusional this sounded after six days of knowing you. but you said you would stay.

day seven: the urge took over and i gave it all to you. every secret my body held, the words spilling off my tongue and into the space between us like a waterfall. like i said the urge took over and i gave it all to you.

day eight: you didn't value me enough to even whisper an explanation.

day nine: we were a story cut off mid sentence. with no happily ever af....

Lost and Lonely
By Lisa Noe


When I was a child you were my hero,
Always there where ever I’d go.

As I grew older you where my friend,
You were that person on whom I could depend.

My father you hung the moon in the sky,
To me you were the most special guy.

You taught me right from wrong,
You showed me that I belonged.


With you I laughed and I cried,
My life was then satisfied.

Our family was so close and complete,
You and mama showed me how to succeed.

Now tears, they fill my eyes,
And in my heart I grieve and die.

For you have passed from this earth,
There is nothing that has your worth.

}Now part of me is lost,
And I can’t count the cost.

Now mamas all alone and broken hearted.
We are all sad that you have departed.

We’ll love you till our dying day,
And I’ll see you again along the way.

© Copyright 2016 ~Lisa Noe~kittylove