I killed myself again tonight
Another perfectly planned ending
Meticulous to the last breath
Painless as always, but this time it was to look like ****** not misadventure
Questions would be asked, not conclusions drawn
I have now I believe played every possible scenario out whilst I battle insomnia
Like Holmes with an entangled case that tears at the synapses I wrestle
Each night the black dog sits and watches as I plot
For it doesn't know I plot its death
The vanquish of my Moriarty, my peace
Soon I will have the solution
For as Holmes himself said
Inspector "Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention?'
'To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time.' Holmes
Inspector "The dog did nothing in the night-time.'
'That was the curious incident,' remarked Sherlock Holmes.'"
The dog just watched torturous its stare.
That truth? The black dog is my nemesis, my Moriarty, my end.
No Watson to save me
For when you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.'
For as Holmes says " There is nothing new under the sun, its all been done before"
The universe is a magical place
Full of wonders and stars out in space
Closer to home there are species a many
Mankind is only one of them
We invented many many things
From baseball bats to film that clings
Spades and boots such wonderful things
There's gaffer tape to fix the wrongs
And zip ties to keep things snug
But mankind has birthed a few total neds
Who need the baseball bat around the head!
The zip ties to keep them still
The cling film to hold the spills
All nicely wrapped in gaffer tape
We don't want to leave any DNA
Then it's boots on, and hello *****!
Another perfect shallow grave
All this allas is just for fun cos
lucky for you we have some laws
Because today I almost dug your hole
Then bury another of mankinds mistakes
And spend tomorrow with a smiley face.
The moon woke up the sun and told her his night was done.
The sun she said to her love, rest now my love your weary head.
All day she shone her very best and all the world loved her there.
Then as the night began to fall she gave the sunset her very all.
The moon he woke in such delight, and looked upon her all the night.
As she slept her light it shone, reflecting off her love the moon.
Night after night after night.
For my daughter. Was a little bit of magic explaining the world
I have seen love
I have felt its tremulous
I have lost love
I have felt its void
I have yearned for love
I have known its command
I have envied love
I have been left cold
I have needed love
I have been left wanting
I have no love
I walked away
We are all a work in progress.
For some never completed.
For others prefabricated to make do.
If I saw you today would you know me tomorrow?
Or pass me by in the street?
Indignant to my existence
We are all just pieces in another's self build.
Remnants of what's been demolished before.
So when you see someone incomplete are you the missing block?
Or the reason they had to rebuild.
layers of dreams held together by little, often nothing.
The dreams that formed reality are nothing of substance only the rivets of our hearts.
And the universe had no business today as thoughts of you filled my head. Thoughts of a soul I could love. But a soul who had gone for good
Broken glass and tightrope walks
Whispers in my own home
Trying to keep out of the way
Fear an explosion each and every day
The way things ended up
Have no resemblances of love
Living a lie is like being dead
Who said zombies don't exist
So if this is you and you see yourself
Living alone with someone else
Existing isn't a life
As each day you die more inside
Take the reigns and make a stand!
Cut the rope and smash the ice
Go outside and scream so loud
Let the world know your back
Find the you, you lost or hid
I promise you, you can, you will
Live and love and don't exist
Be the you that we all missed.
I want to be locked in a closet next to you and feel your breath on my cheek.
I want you to wake and look for me and know today will be okay.
When you look at a view, turn to share it with me.
Tell me all you have to say, then fall asleep with me each day.
Look at your phone and laugh out loud, when you read the nonsense that I've sent.
Pinch my *** as I walk past, declaring it yours and making it known that other women can find their own.
Fall asleep and dream away for you I can wait another day.
Something and nothing.
Last night a million souls cried
The court jester has died
The details vague and matter not
We know it was his black dog
I dreamt of clouds heavy with rain, whisps of heavy porcelain, suspended on wishes and heavy with tears.
I saw you upon them, darting from one to another carried by the wind, dancing like a wild spirit, untamed, free.
For a moment time was no issue as death had come, and gone.
You paused and gazed down upon me.
The smile held a lifetime of emotions then, goodbye and a tear fell into the now dark clouds and a crash of thunder crossed the sky.
The rain fell harder and harder as it masked the tears on my face.
Masked for no other to see, drenched to the skin, cold in solitude and heavy in heart.
I awoke my hair soaked from fever, only then did I know you had come to say goodbye.
For a friend 1968-2014