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Nov 2 · 42
i miss
Ainnoot Nov 2
I miss,
sitting on top of the world and being understood.
I miss,
the gaze into my eyes, so I could focus on yours.
I miss,
the days love songs would resonate a bit more.
I miss,
our dope conversations and the breaks I‘d take just to get my fix,
but now my walks home are quiet
and my playlist just doesn’t sound the same.
Nov 2 · 50
Ainnoot Nov 2
In my cocoon of sadness.
I once crawled to you, but you can leave.
I guess you grew out of us and bloomed before me.
Once mixed with a shade of blue
but now there are so many colors on you.
It must be nice to feel free as you fly.
To spread your wings and have your uncertainties beautified.
A work of art, so is it wrong that I keep painting you on every canvas?
I’m staining my memory ‘till I can’t stand it.
A picture's worth a thousand words,
but having them counted hurts.
I guess it’s best that I digress, redirect my pens sadness and settle myself into a happy nest.
I had many cold nights, but the anger that I pent is becoming less.
You should see yourself.
Things only levered south on my end, I need a new compass.
I forget to pretend I don’t remember it being just us.
They’re gone now, those pictures never did you justice.
It’s been a while, but I’m right here where you left us.
You used to love the way I “said things”,
so just know
when you hear me say,
“I write every day”
My mouth just conveyed that your memory remains.
The remnants of my soul still remembers your whole name
because even though
my co-star suddenly became
frightened by the stage,

Now I’m sick to my stomach,
when it used to be butterflies.
Oct 26 · 97
No title.
Ainnoot Oct 26
Although right now it means nothing,
all I could do is give you an apology
and pardon me for the tears you shed.
I kept you hidden cause I wasn’t ****.
Folders filled with secrets I feared others could never accept.
I eradicated all of the intimate pics you ever sent.
All I have are mental mementos.
Memories, that are near gone and faded.
It helps not to remember because
I’m haunted by “we almost made it”.
I dare not to remember the sweetest kiss
I’ve ever been graced with
or let the next one even remotely resemble the control you had over me.
You’re not the one I thought you’d be.
Truthfully, I wish you were here,
so I keep you in my poetry to feel you near.
We had no title, so why am still thinking about it?

We never had a title, but I could always read you.
I can’t sleep at night.
I wish you would at least pretend
to care for me the way you used to.
My appetite is gone.
It’s just been eating away at me how hungry I am for love.
It’s really hard to go back once you’ve had a taste.
Oct 20 · 115
The Great lie awake
Ainnoot Oct 20
Poetry is a lie disguised behind mysterious words... no wonder I write so much.
Oct 8 · 112
lovers body
Ainnoot Oct 8
You know the things you do for validation obscure your worth, but you go for it anyway because there’s nothing that feels worse than the hurt.
A little reminder that something you’ve had since birth is desired lights a fire fierce enough to remove your shirt.

You’re lost, but still, find yourself in other people.
You keep finding the pain, the kindness, it’s an endless sequel.
Oct 6 · 61
The Blemish
Ainnoot Oct 6
I thought all I wanted was to show my truth,
but I’ve been lying to myself that I’m over you.
I doused a flame with gas to boost an ego and it burned me.
How lovely, I have no shame, I keep bringing you up to myself.

I thought I needed this, but now I know that some people make other’s “happy” wherever they go;others; whenever they go.
-Antonio Espinal /Oscar Wilde
Sep 19 · 300
The luckiest.
Ainnoot Sep 19
I walked alone one spring,
It was a cold March.
How lucky does that make me knowing
April was on the way?
Another year to you, but May I say that the month of June knows why the way July came about wasn’t such a surprise after August came to life.
So yes, “Wake me up when September ends” because when we don’t want the blues we take anyone else’s Green Day.
We don’t know what we want ‘til it’s over.
We do it to ourselves.
Ask yourself.
If three’s a crowd, why do we always seek the four leaf clover?
Sep 15 · 435
Dear Mom,
Ainnoot Sep 15
I wanted to kiss you goodbye,
but you’re such a light sleeper.
You were dancing with the angels, I could tell.
You were smiling with no worries,
I know life can be hell.
Couldn’t disturb your peace,
when you make my pain ease.
I wanted to hug you goodbye, your arms feel safe.
You are my haven, but I’ll tell you at my pace.
I will repay my debt.
You gave me all the right things,
when I had nothing left.
Anyone can be a mother, but you earned that title. I was leaving and wanted to dismiss myself, but you had a long night.

You became a mom to me and I thank you for it.
Ainnoot Sep 14
I’m high ‘cause I was feeling low
But I’m low so much they might as well bury me since all I wish is to be high in the sky,
   Maybe this is the only way I’m Pilot Jones, When im in love with Mary Jane.
Sep 9 · 285
Thinking back
Ainnoot Sep 9
“Memories that don’t make sense. That’s the cloud you had me on.”
Sep 9 · 163
Ainnoot Sep 9
Your growing smile as they spoke.

It was almost if each one of those words were a lethal injection to poison and trick a mind into thinking that’s the remedy.

When you just need to get away from it to know that isn’t your cup of tea.
Aug 28 · 54
Ainnoot Aug 28
Stand like you’ve never fallen.
Dive head first, never fall in.
Look them in the eyes like you’ve seen a thousand faces.
Climb like you know where the mountains facing.
Puzzle them so you’re the only one put together.
Smile like you’ve done something.
Keep your arms open like you’ve had worse threats.
Know everyone’s turn is coming, so never fear death.
The stain they can’t wipe off.
Ainnoot Aug 23
I really did believe
that absence
made the heart grow fonder,
but truth is...

I waited so long
for you that the only
thing I became fond of
was my loneliness.
Ainnoot Aug 18
the heart doesn't breakeven.
she definitely has the bigger half.
if she doesn't come back.
I won't have much to give.

she somehow always
finds more, meanwhile, I'm limited.

I know she's meant to love many,
so I get lightheaded when my heart gets heavy.
Grammar is out the window sorry.
Aug 18 · 150
Ainnoot Aug 18
We thought we were soulmates.
maybe we solely mated
to sow the pain that made it.

You stood tall and walked all over me,
that’s what your soles did.
I never knew I was buying, but you sold it.
Aug 16 · 59
I lied.
Ainnoot Aug 16
I vocalize my truth,
though I tell no lies,
It’s believed to be a ruse.
I have you
ribboned in a loop
of psychological ties.
I’ll give you
all my confessions in jest.
it’s a bitter pill to swallow,
you’re just too scared Ingest.
Aug 16 · 219
Ainnoot Aug 16
I replayed my side of the story
a different way,
every day you were gone.
Until saying nothing
became all I had to say.
No more stars in my eyes.
You were the eclipse to my sun.
You made it hard to shine.
Not my best
Aug 16 · 61
Ainnoot Aug 16
No promises or guarantees
that I’m not crazy.
I know it’s only been a week,
so I haven’t told my shrink
how much you’ve grown on me
Aug 15 · 71
Pathological liar.
Ainnoot Aug 15
I lie to get my way.
I lie to get things out of the way.
I lie on my way.
I lie to sleep knowing the truth slipped away.
Denying it would only make me a bigger liar.
Aug 15 · 804
The narcissist.
Ainnoot Aug 15
The narcissist within  
just wants to prove
that there’s no pain worse than it,
by healing
and then inflicting it's curse.
Aug 14 · 78
Ainnoot Aug 14
I can only wish my presence is enough to satisfy my absence.
Aug 1 · 256
Are you serious?
Ainnoot Aug 1
A jester who won’t accept heartbreak just laughs at himself.
Aug 1 · 44
Toy with me.
Ainnoot Aug 1
To be broken would mean I was once whole.
I was not assembled properly.
I have always been defective.
In order for me to shatter, it’d only take one fall.
Jul 31 · 75
That’s new.
Ainnoot Jul 31
This is all new to me, I need it translated.
I love you beyond comprehension
and I ******* hate it.
Jul 26 · 585
Ainnoot Jul 26
Crazy really, to love blindly, when it takes squinted eyes to see
Triple entendre.

• We have a better understanding of things when high.
•Once you’re suspicious, everything seems off.
•Ever notice how people squint when their visions impaired?
Jul 24 · 409
Misery loves company.
Ainnoot Jul 24
I am the worst company I have ever received. I am the biggest bully, the worst critic, the most negative energy. I am my biggest downer, but she helps me put up with "me".
Jul 23 · 325
I wish.
Ainnoot Jul 23
I wish her smile wasn’t perfect,
that her laugh wouldn’t hypnotize.
I wish every greeting wouldn’t wave a sea of emotions within me and that she wasn’t kind.
I wish she would hurt me and not apologize.
To think that It took hers to finally see through a woman’s eyes.
I wish It wasn’t her presence that made my anguish subside.
I wish the pain wouldn’t diminish when she hugged me.
I wish she wasn’t her, I wish she were ****.
Jul 7 · 95
At first.
Ainnoot Jul 7
I fell in lust.
It only took almost losing myself to know
this was deeper than you.
Jul 3 · 73
Ainnoot Jul 3
It hurts to watch you
attempt to heal,
but it hurts even more
to watch the healing method fail.
Jun 28 · 395
Ainnoot Jun 28
So violently violet.
I’m a bruised discolored soul.
The grass looked so green
when I was blue,
but not every light means go!
Halsey had a lyric that said

“You were red, and you liked me because I was blue
But you touched me, and suddenly I was a lilac sky
Then you decided purple just wasn't for you“

I thought it was great and wanted to play with the theme of color.
Jun 24 · 413
Ainnoot Jun 24
She doesn’t want to be loved, just wants to be felt.
She wants a full feeling, not something fulfilling
Jun 18 · 161
you are
Ainnoot Jun 18
the reason love songs now resonate.
the only destination that rain won't discourage.
a dream while I am awake.
You feed my soul to keep my heart nourished.
Jun 17 · 182
First time
Ainnoot Jun 17
Somehow I never remember
all the times I got high.
Somehow every time
feels like the first time.
Every time I am a ******
to this Mary Jane.
Every puff is a secret, I keep it in.
Every puff keeps me sane.
Jun 12 · 338
as promised
Ainnoot Jun 12
You illuminated my life just
as the sun lights the earth
when it is most needed.
When the moon could no longer be seen
because the moon meant "to dream"
and the dreams that I had of love
were no longer in existence.
That was when you arrived,
when the illusion was leaving.
Illusions are like dreams,
nothing more, just that one is conscious.
How ironic that to this day
I can't get you out of my mind.
I guess "forever" was promised.
I was high when I wrote this at 3 am. It was originally written in Spanish, by me. This is the translation.
Jun 9 · 253
Ainnoot Jun 9
I wanted badly to impress you.
To somehow enhance my creativity.
I was my best when you were with me.
You used to be my world,
but now you’re just pretty.
Jun 5 · 126
Where are they?
Ainnoot Jun 5
We watch friends change and show new colors. Sometimes we need to let them leave
because if autumn taught me anything it’s that you can’t put back something that fell off.
That’s just the nature of things.
I need to stop with the seasons, it’s getting old.
Ainnoot May 30
Plenty of fish in the sea,
but if you don't take my bait.
I will just go home
and use my rod to *******.
pay me no mind. today I am being weird.
May 30 · 378
got jokes huh?
Ainnoot May 30
A jester who is unheard
loses its identity.
The sound of
crickets begin to echo.
Punchlines sock you
in the face
and the
silence is deafening.
May 29 · 657
F**k You
Ainnoot May 29
I want to hurt you so bad,
but your tears **** me.
May 25 · 113
Ainnoot May 25
Your voice
is the melody
of the song
I’ve never heard.
May 25 · 384
one of a kind.
Ainnoot May 25
I’m drunk on desire.
You’ve fulfilled many wishes.
You shine bright.
What you are outdoes
my imagination’s limit.
No matter how inspired,
I could never create
something as exquisite
May 23 · 762
Ainnoot May 23
You’re hurting, I know.
I hope to bring solace
to a desolate soul.
Even If I tried
I couldn’t replace you.
I must admit you‘re
my favorite shade of blue.
What is said is true of the plenty
of fish in the sea,
but you are a mermaid
basking by the beach.
it was on a shirt and yea idk. cringe? maybe.. mean it? also maybe.  This note? also cringe. ***** it, right
May 19 · 524
Dear Universe,
Ainnoot May 19
I knew she was toxic
from the beginning, yet it felt as if she healed me.
The poison taste of nectar.
I stayed far too long,
she could destroy me if I let her.
I wanted to leave before
she got her hold.
Funny that now I want to die alone
when I wanted us to grow old.
Not the first, I’ve encountered many, but this one’s different.
I’ve been lied to before, sure, but this one’s convincing.
I lied to myself when I made her my world.
There’s no saving that girl.
I know my bad decisions put me in her orbit, but Dear Universe,

If this is your game, I forfeit.
This one’s just personal
May 13 · 250
Ainnoot May 13
It felt like it when I said
I would love you forever
but time goes really
slow when I’m high.
May 8 · 170
I wish...
Ainnoot May 8
My lips orchestrated lies
They said she was one of a kind
That all the stars were In her eyes
Sadly she can’t get me out of her mind.
I hope she forgives me
I really wish I loved her.
She’s picked up my habits
So when I drop her
I just hope she recovers.
I really wish I loved her
The way she deserves to be
no matter how I touched her
I forged an illusion
And that’s all on me.
I began this a year ago.
May 8 · 417
Ainnoot May 8
I’ll erase you
weren’t carved in stone.
Life is what you make it,
but you go where the winds blown.
What you sold was *******.
I was ripped off,
your love was counterfeit.
just lost its appeal,
so I had to split.
May 8 · 72
Too much
Ainnoot May 8
I gave you more than you deserved,
you were overwhelmed.
don’t pretend to be hurt,
don’t lie to yourself,
but do what brings you comfort.
This was quite the show,
but there’s no encore for this concert.
You have some nerve,
your wounds are self inflicted.
Remind me who called first.
Just admit you became addicted, now you’re having withdrawals.
Let’s be realistic.
  I Invested so much of my time and went over my budget.
Relationships always sink, I just hope you plummet.
It’s best you learn to swim,
it’s a deep abyss.
It’s not a dog-eat-dog world,
you’re just a b*tch.
May 3 · 148
Ainnoot May 3
you left a mark and the thing is,
the love drug has no effect
If you’re not holding the syringes.
Swore I wouldn’t get addicted
you brought me ecstasy
and cured me of a sickness
You made away with my depression,
but Mary Jane is my mistress.
May 3 · 268
Fall off
Ainnoot May 3
It was easy for you to fall.
You weren’t balanced
and I put you on too high a pedestal.
I helped you get back up on your feet,
but you must really love to crawl.
Apr 19 · 1.8k
Ainnoot Apr 19
I am an addict
in need of saving.
You're my heroine
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