she stands there,
in her room,
the only light coming from a dimly lit lamp,
sitting in the corner of the room,

she stands there,
thinking about it,
about you,
and everything in-between,

she stands there,
with a knife in her hands,
and words in her mind,
that will always be there,

she stands there,
with tears running down her cheeks,
not bothering to wipe them away,
because nothing matters now,

she stands there,
with her arms out,
looking down at it,
thinking about what this means,

she stands there,
knife to skin,
silence in the air,
someone yelling at her inside her head,

she stands there,
listening to the voice,
just do it already it says,
you don't even matter it says,

she stands there,
a memory came to here,
you and her smiling and laughing ,
it was all her fault,

she stands there,
looks over at the clock,
red numbers flick over as time passes by,
3:12am it says,

she lays there,
in her room,
the only light coming from a dimly lit lamp,
sitting in the corner of the room,

maybe this will be it,
when i finally have the guts to do it,
to admit to myself,
that this is what i really want,
what i really need,
maybe this will solve it all,
solve the rumours,
solve the drama's,
solve the lies,
maybe it would make some people happy,
to see a girl like me,
gone,
to know that,
she doesn't exist anymore,
so they can finally say,
thank **** for that,
maybe it's the right thing to do,
i'm sick of seeing the scars and the blood,
because really,
what does it all come down to?
whether or not i can do it,
because maybe this time,
i will,
because i am sick of the stares,
the rumours,
the lies,
and their liars,
i'm sick of the fake people,
because what did i do,
to deserve this,
nothing,
just another girl,
trying to make her mark of the world,
trying to be normal,
fit in,
be happy even,
just another girl,
that no one cares about,
because i don't show my scars,
because i don't make them visible,
because i don't talk about death,
and the craving it has on me,
and the dark nights spent alone,
wondering if someone actually gives a **** about me,
maybe,
just maybe,
i was wrong for once,
no one cares about me,
no one will,
how can they,
when i don't even care myself,
maybe this is it,
finally,
my last goodbye,
and i wrote it to you,
because maybe,
you care,
but i could be wrong.

i thought i deleted them all,
the pictures of you and me,
our memories,
i thought i erased them,
forgot them,
but there they are,
in front of me,
causing me more pain each second i look at them,
our smiles,
the way you look at me,
us,
now gone,
i thought i deleted them all,
the pictures that make me cry,
that pictures that make me feel alone,
1 year after,
and you still have the same affect you had on me from the start,
1 year,
and i still feel the same,
and what hurts the most,
is that you don't feel the same,
and i have to move on,
i gotta move on,
for myself,
to be happy again,
because holding on,
is doing nothing,
nothing but pain,
and loneliness,
and the dark nights,
and the bad days,
which happen way too often to tell apart from my good ones,
i thought i deleted them all,
i wish i never took them in the first place.