If god was a real person ,
I'd sue .
For floppy ***** ,
And gaping eye sockets .
Misplaced fat pockets
Stretch marks and paranoid doobs.
For photoshopped pictures
And singles mixers
And never being able to properly chew
My words Before I spit them out
For men that don't ask before they mount
And for all the doubt .
For protesters in front of abortion
Clinics and mimics .
And being more creative without your adoration .
For false salvation .

I wish you would get deported .
I curse the east European country that produced such a fine specimen of god like features
Coupled with a Zeus complex .
And all the series of unfortunate events that lead you too my small town eyes .
My guts haven't unraveled for days and I have forgotten what eating for enjoyment is as it all turns to ashes in my mouth .
Grief is a my white knuckled steering wheel , uncontrolled sobbing in traffic .
It is "our" dog barking at me to remember to breathe .
It is my mothers kisses on my hands because I cannot turn my head to meet her blue eyes cause they are the same color of yours .
For every cigarette I light I hope you light two
Because I'm drinking this poison but trying to **** you.

Inside I am a furnace .
A gun lights up the night from
A driver's side window .
Rapid fire flashes .
Firecrackers .
You duck ,
I doe .
Why am I not afraid ?
Don't look at the license plate .
Just the shiny thing .
Your jaw setting ,
Adrenaline in your veins ,
You scream .
Tell me what it feels like .
Maybe I'm insane
Or just high .
But your name fails me
And you are the rest .
Yelling with a beer in your hand .
I don't need your protection .
Inside I am a furnace .  
Not afraid in my own neighborhood .

You took away the things I love
My bookcase and record player
Are dusty but my bed is warm .
You blacken already genetically dark circles under my eyes
And made me too discouraged
To use concealer .
You lined things up nice and neat for me in a row to critically craniumly  understand ,
Then berated me when I couldn't currently conduct myself in front of company .
But needed to cope .™

No one reads my **** ,
I am so thankful for this website .
I'm accountable now .

If I didn't love my truck so much ,
I'd drive it off a cliff .
Do you know how maddening it is to go a whole day
Twenty ******* four hours
Without a single concious thought .
Except as when I drive home
And they rush me
Collecting their stamps on the first Tuesday of the month between my ears and
I switch on the radio
So I don't pull over and kick over that bird bath in that yard .
I love mine .
I sit on my hands so I don't serve myself to the belly of that semi.
I want to get a ***** tattoo .
I got to finish my hip .
What if I cover myself too much and I have no room left and I want more things to stop the aching ?
I'm 20 .
Two decades old .
I live with my parents again .
I have never gone downtown drinking .
Or finished enrolling in college .
Why do I chicken out of every ****** appointment ?
I don't want medicine .
I could go for a slushie .
Am I real person ?
I toy with my floor mat , because it makes me place my feet weird .
It's not because I'm awkward .
I wish I had a joint .
Wait .
I can't smoke **** anymore ,
It stops my heart .
Well ... ****** .™