You terrified me
The only real thing I have ever felt
You wanted my heart, my soul
Made love to my mind
I could not explain what I felt
But when my life fell to shambles
I was alone and you were so far
It terrified me
The only thing that could help me
I needed your warmth, your voice
Put my nightmares to rest
I could not explain what I felt
And alcohol only keeps you so warm
I was alone and you were so far

Once i was seven years old, a dream had told me
one day i'd be married under palm trees
Once i was seven years old

I was a girl with a plan but you thought yours was better
You pushed me close to the edge then sent me sweet love letters
By eleven i was broken, crying in your sweater
Never again would i fall, you couldn't stand the pressure

Once i was eleven years old, my brother told me,
don't worry 'bout these boys just get your money
Once i was eleven years old

i always had that dream like my brother before me
so i started working, grinding, started stacking money
Everyone called me honey, cause i was still so sweet
I didn't let the riches change me, never folded in heat

Once i was sixteen years old, the parties got old
The morning after was always so gloomy
Once i was sixteen years old

I almost went to jail, almost ruined my future
who would want to be around a girl that's so stupid?
I had my boys with me, at least that was in my favor
Then those same boys went and put my ******* life in danger

Once i was eighteen years old, being alone got old
I went and found someone who was there at night to hold me
Once i was eighteen years old

Soon we'll be thirty years old, our story pretty bold
We got married barefoot under the palm trees
Soon we'll be thirty years old

Little ones learning about life, our love is constantly growing
I'm so happy as his wife, he's what keeps me going
Most of my friends are in jail, dead or close to dying
I did my best to save them but they just kept justifying
and its so hard to talk to someone when their ego's showing

If I reach sixty-years old, then he'll reach sixty-five
We'll sit back and reminisce of simpler times
When we were young and happy dancing in a waterfall
with nothing to lose because we'd already lost it all

If I don't reach sixty-years old, will my story be told?
Or should i write a book detailing everything?
If i don't reach sixty-years old

If I don't reach sixty-years old, will my story be told?
Or should i write a book so you wont miss a thing?
If i don't reach sixty-years old

Once i was seven years old, a dream had told me
one day i'd be married under palm trees
Once i was seven years old

Once i was seven years old...

When you love someone, and they tear your heart to shreds
It's difficult to let someone else in your head
Your pain eats at you every minute you're awake
The fear consumes you as you wait for the heartbreak
The what if?'s and the who's she?'s collect so quickly
You find yourself questioning your love's loyalty
Presented with proof, you don't want to believe it
It's happening again, why can't he be honest?
This is what he preaches, you know, truth above all
Promising he'll be there to catch you when you fall
You accept it, you know his war is internal
No one knows except you, him, her, and your journal
He won't admit it, which you just can't understand
Plus he takes care of you, he wants to be your man
You put your walls up, pain hidden by a smile
The worst part? That smile will stay for a while
You will lie down with him, laugh with him, you will stay
Close to nothing in this world will take you away

She started living for herself, finally, after years of doing what everyone else wanted.
She quit her job and her makeup routine, finally letting that beautiful face of hers breath.
She started writing more, inspiration finally found it's way back to her veins.
She was reborn, like a phoenix from ashes, and finally figured out how to be alive again.

She exhaled, smoke floating from the lips that longed to be pressed against his. The taste of tobacco and chemicals lingered as she watched the cloud dissipate. She sighed and turned her attention to the trees swaying outside, naked with the exception of a thin layer of snow. The sun was finally falling out of view, painting the sky pink and purple on the horizon. She put the cigarette to her lips again, so routinely, as she has done for six years, and she waited. Anxiety grew within her, for the moon was not rising fast enough. She was anxious because she knew with each falling of the sun and rising of the moon, she was even just the slightest bit closer to holding the whole world in her arms again. Her eighteen year old body carried such an enormous weight because she was helpless. She spent every minute trying to rush the stars into shining in the night and the birds into chirping in the morning, to bring her closer to the most grand reunion. Meanwhile, all she could do was chainsmoke to pass the time.