stopdoopy

Nov 2018

cait-cait

too many girls write poems about how they’ve been body shamed

i beg for other people’s *** stories,
because i am broken and unloved...

and when boys snarl,
i feel alone, although
i know that they are just laughing...

and
i’ve found that womanhood is
half shame before everything else,

so i can only notice how
other girls wave their successes above my head,
as though being ****** is a prize and being loved is an end game,

that screams GAME OVER in bright red.

i will take my silence over your lifestyle any day,
despite the fact that i still cry when you leave.

women can’t exist without being analyzed, tested, and corrected. i wish girls wrote poems about being happy instead. Don’t @ me.

#women #womanhood #shame #boys #*** #laugh #game #cry #silence #love

stopdoopy Nov 2018

This Heart Was Made To Love

Feelings overflowing and spilling out of the fountain.

It warms me, to know you care so deeply.

I'm sorry.

My tears may spill like raindrops,

But I will lay down my flesh time and time again,

Until every inch of me is littered with scars;

And I'm sinking beneath the waves of worry, ache, and sadness.

If it means I can one day find someone,

Who feels the same as me,

Then I will die a thousand times.

A response piece to Cait-Cait's "to you, whom i love very much". This was written months ago and all I remember is we had some very open hearted conversations and I love that we can be so honest with each other. I hope you all find a friend like her.

#warms #deeply #raindrops #spills #flesh #littered #waves #worry #thousand #beneath

stopdoopy Nov 2018

Synonyms

your love is toxic

my lungs collapsing

beneath the weight of such ugly feelings

so much like a rock

abrasive and heavy

are the words that spill from your mouth

like a faucet of filth

the pressure building

bright red blossoms

like a blow to the face

#toxic #weight #collapsing #abrasive #spill #abuse #faucet #blow #face #filth

stopdoopy Nov 2018

There's Sinners In Church

There she goes

Girls file into line
Three by three
Knee length skirts

Down the aisle

Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine
Prayers morning, noon, and night
Careful now, They're prepared to smite

Up the Stairs

Now we dine
And then off to bed
One "lucky" girl gets to practice head

The tallest tower

She's had too much sacramental wine
Hands touched and caressed
And she felt far from blessed

Down she jumps

Touched by filthy swine
"what a horrible disaster"
Her eulogy given by that same pastor

The Devil moves on

#line #dine #wine #skirts #pastor #caressed #eulogy #aisle #knee

stopdoopy Oct 2018

My Little Starlight

your shine

bogged down

by the inkiness

of space

yet you are still radiant

and I can see you even from here

shine bright my love

For Cait-Cait

#shine #bogged #space #inkiness #radiant #bright #i #love #you

stopdoopy Oct 2018

And I know You're dead.

It burns like an acid,

these hot tears,

Tearing through my skin.

The inside of my chest shredded,

And it's your hand this time,

That holds the carving knife.

Through it all, I hear a pounding-


                                          It's my hand on the table.
                                          As some tune's stuck in my head.
                                          I look around at all my friends,
                                          Grins and smiles a blaze by the fire.
                                          And for the first time in a long while,
                                          I join in, and I'm okay.

Getting over people's a process, but it will happen for you; just as it has for me.

I love my friends

#acid #tearing #carving #pounding #friend #tune #knife #hot #tears #okay

stopdoopy Oct 2018

Moon Baby

A woman once
                                        Wished on star
                                        From lands afar

                              "Please oh please
                              Bright twinkling light
                              Give me a child tonight"

                    And the woman prayed
                    Every night for years
                    Her plea fell on deaf ears

          Until a goddess
          Who made me swoon
          Heard her tune;
          The Moon

Begging she had heard
The mother of Earth
The call answered
With a "birth"

          Transcending her planet
          Coming to ours
          In a pomegranate

                    Inside the botanic
                    Did she travel
                    Until cloth unravel

                              Child Delivered
                              To dainty hands
                              Such divine plans

                                        Celestial now infant
                                        Baby and parent
                                        Woman loves ancient

For Houkyou, the title is what my friend calls their daughter and the whole poem is based off of it.

#tune #parent #infant #delivered #botanic #swoon #pomegranate #unravel #ancient #divine