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I thought your chest
was a hole
to another galaxy

and the only way
I could touch
the stars

was to tear you apart.
 Jun 2014 Brianna
happy birthday they said to me
it would be the best day they said to me
they didnt know they ruined my birthday
cause they couldnt let go their own problems for one day
just for me
its ok
just because i did it all the time doesnt mean they have to put me first
He told me to *******.
He said the situation was *******
He gave me the finger
And walked out slamming the door behind him
He is my 11 year old son

He yelled, “What the ****?”
He told me to get out
And tried to wrestle me out the door of his bedroom
I got the drop on him
Pinned him to the floor
Then he yelled “MOM”
She took my side and screamed at him.
That was my 14 year old.

Both boys swear, say inappropriate things, demand, and act like spoiled brats
I still love them.
But I've had to start lifting weights
I’ve had to start working out
They are getting stronger
I know eventually one of them will take a swing at me.

Some people say beat them
I’ve tried
They keep coming back for more
They like it

My wife defends herself with psychological warfare
The children think she is crazy
and are afraid of her
If ever completely unleashed, the full power of her unpredictable female emotional psyche could take out small city
Leaving many permanently brain dead
She's too humane to torture their young minds for any extended period of time.  
I won’t go into the details regarding what she has done to my mind.  But think coercion, bribery, guilt, seduction, isolation, etc……

When people say modern family
Divorce, homosexual parents, blended families might come to mind.
Our modern family is a little bit CIA training, little bit UFC, sprinkled with God, Xbox, Disney channel, and Adult Swim.

How did things get this way?
I don’t know
Where is it headed?
It’s all uncharted territory
We’re fighters
I am confident they will make it to adult hood without too many battle scars
In the back my mind I can’t help but wonder what lies ahead?  
My oldest starts high school next year
He sits on the bench
Cheering his team on
All the time wondering
When will the coach put him in?

His mom and dad look on smiling at him
He knows they will ask why he didn’t play more?
He doesn’t know himself
He will hear the, “you need to work harder” speech

There is a small chance he will do something great
But not really
He only gets to play
When the team has a comfortable lead
Or a starter needs a rest

Sometimes he gets lucky
A starter will upset the coach
And the coach will punish the starter
By letting him, a sub, play longer than normal

Thoughts confront him
What’s worst?
Not playing?
Fine with not playing?
Not fine with not playing?
Playing a little but playing well?
Playing more but playing bad?

He must break free
He must not let the coach, the team, the parents define him
He can’t be pushed aside
He has to be a fighter

The coach is not his friend
He is the enemy
He must convince himself of this
The coach stands in his way
He must stand out and play the game his way
Not the coach’s way
Or else he will be a sub the rest of his life
And all he will have to show for it
Is a pat on the back and job well done comment
And memories of others getting basking in their own glory
While he sits on the bench
 May 2014 Brianna
Martin Kroyer
That man, that’s not me
Soon, I’m not here
Hold on
I disappear.

These days I drift away
Just turning round and round
You won’t
Let me down.

I’d change just for you
But never let me go
Fall back
In the arms I know.

In a while I’ll leave
Am I lost or found
You won’t
Let me down
Words for a time when you feel things are going to change, and though it might scare you, be without fear.
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