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hazael-fae Nov 2016
With these drugs on my brain, I have some words I cannot explain.
My heart pounding never could match the beat of this Steppenwolf song.
My head was skipping like this scratched up record. I was in the clouds, with a head that felt like it was seventy steps behind my dancing body. Time has turned to liquid, and my brain wrinkles. I lean back allowing it to melt. Everything is melting, my hands, my hair, the walls, my eyebrows feel like forests. I look at the energy wave behind my closed stained eyelids. I'm beginning to drip into this puddle of blankets.
my first psychedelic experience
1.9k · Jan 2017
Fondness of a Sunrise
hazael-fae Jan 2017
I'm lost in your love
and the way the rising sun is beaming on your complex features
the glow casts light upon my eyes awakening me
for now I see this feeling
as a well lit sunrise
1.3k · Jan 2017
Social media
hazael-fae Jan 2017
Open up your eyes we're all disguised, we're hypnotized. We have overdosed with these pointless posts just to see how much we can boast. We're all trapped liquid inside a bottle that is wrapped with a title named "social media" We're all to blame, cause all we dig for is fame. Acceptance is where we find our bliss, but is all of this worth being blind
1.1k · Oct 2016
Mom
hazael-fae Oct 2016
Mom
Mom, he won't listen to us
Mom, he won't put down the bottle
Mom, he is screaming at us again
Mom, he put his hands on us again
Mom, he made my brother run away
Mom, he is ruining my family
Mom, he made my brothers scary
Mom, he doesn't care if she's abusing us
Mom, he won't buy me new shoes these ones don't fit anymore
Mom, he is wasting all his money on alcohol
Mom, he won't go to meetings
Mom, he is shaking what is wrong with him
Mom, he is hiding the bottles from us
Mom, he is not willing to quit
Mom, he has lied to us so many times
Mom, he is trying to get us to call her mom
Mom, he is breaking things
Mom, he is getting worse with his dad gone
Mom, he is getting worse
998 · Mar 2017
Virgo Women
hazael-fae Mar 2017
She was a piece of artwork
who's blood ran cold
radiant skin shining like the sun

a raging mess of a hurricane
with stormy grey eyes
there was no smooth sailing

and a beautiful flow of a waterfall
natural silver clear water
streaming through its calm journey

she is a free spirt you can not cage
under a gypsy spell
casted under a moonlit reality under dancing rain
work in progress
818 · Jan 2017
Knotted Brain
hazael-fae Jan 2017
My head went quiet
all the feelings that I have ever felt were ******* in a knot
and all I had to do was untie it.
gripping on thread by thread
as the tension built up
so did the thoughts in my head
803 · Mar 2017
Dear Self,
hazael-fae Mar 2017
I'm proud of you for putting an end to the war you were having with yourself. You've grown so much as a person in the past year. You've truly found yourself, and I'm proud of you for loving every single inch of who you are. You've deserved this peace within yourself for so long, don't let this peace leave your mind. Protect it. treat your body and mind like it is a lovely piece of art.
782 · Mar 2016
What is my loneliness?
hazael-fae Mar 2016
Lonely, what is it? A feeling an emotion a trait in my DNA? Is this what life has planned for me? A full life of loneliness?
Is it an embarrassing feeling? or is it something we were all born to feel? But was the plan a day, a night or a life of loneliness?
779 · Nov 2016
Who is she today?
hazael-fae Nov 2016
She wore a smile yesterday, where is it today? She woke up different today sad, walking slow, ignoring everyone around her, she fakes every smile. She wanted silence and she wanted to be alone. She didn't want to fight the battle between happy and sad anymore, she wanted to be like everyone else, normal. What is considered a normal feeling? She was losing her head. She thought to herself 'if this is my normal I don't want to be anymore.' The thoughts came in her head that day. Its not common that they do but when they do she's not her anymore. Maybe she will be okay when she wakes up again. A better, happy, bubbly person. A better version of herself she was not today. I hope she comes back tomorrow.
11/14 Journal Entry
747 · Mar 2016
flick of a lighter
hazael-fae Mar 2016
with the lit cigarette
pressed to your purple lips
you’re longing for peace and happiness
so you light another cigarette
darkening your soul once again
somewhere in that cigarette can make you happy
you think with the
flick of a lighter
inside of every burn
is a thought
of everything slowly getting better
you’re tricked
727 · Feb 2017
feed your soul
hazael-fae Feb 2017
the impact of this magic is making me mellow, loving, and strong, my mind is a puzzle and im finally putting it together, piece by piece, im finally connecting these things and becoming who i am, this magic is helping me put myself together and form the best version of me. who i am, and who i hid from. this spell im under is helping me through my journey
mushies
642 · Apr 2017
spell
hazael-fae Apr 2017
curious animals beating on drums
a feeling of tranquility overwhelms my veins
this spirits presence is too much like magic
for now this melody is a hex
enchanting my mind to think
as if they were drums
a dizzying mess of sounds
blessings of fresh air swirling in my lungs
convincing the reality to fade away
soft rain falls to this melody
for now the language of the rain speaks
a magical hymn
Fogged up mind
suffocated by smoke
burning away all my worries
I close my eyes, letting this feeling take me away
I am new
For I no longer hold the traits of a human.
Sorrow, misery, jealousy, every feelings of guilt is washed away
veins filled with energies dancing stillness.
637 · Nov 2016
The Girl Holding the Books
hazael-fae Nov 2016
She had a story unlike any of the stories held in her hands. Her story was quite too messy to put into words. She's forgotten by the world, and surrounded by the disturbance of people.
        Some of the foam from her well filled coffee stains her upper lip. And she flips the page, to continue reading the story of another.
        She'll never get the confidence to talk to the gentlemen across the room. The one looking at her right now, smiling at her foamy lip, she wipes it off and blushes.
        Her head turns back to the pages, she hopes to find friends in the book she grasps in her hand. So she doesn't find the need to talk to the gentlemen across the room
611 · May 2018
virgo women two
hazael-fae May 2018
her veins filled with waves of love
she is here to give
to receive and to give back
to love the lessons of life
this Virgo knows the way to the light
though enlightened stargazing
her feet press to the earth
and there, with the grass twirling within her toes
shes home
graced with the presence of love
she grants herself forgiveness for all
for not only herself
but for all
her tears are filled with hurt that the world carries
she wants to help, give all she can
but Virgo women, powerless it seems
gives all she can
and even with no one saying anything of what she has given
with no thanks received
she still wakes with the ambition to give love,  and to give all that Virgo Women is, everyday
604 · Oct 2016
Tuesday 1:27 am
hazael-fae Oct 2016
The music found in the silence is keeping me awake. I'm tangled in a quilt. I'm currently staring out my window, just me and the moon and the silence. It's not a full moon yet. but the moonlit shadows danced on my walls anyway. Theres just something beautiful about being awake and aware from sunset to sunrise. My thoughts are floating through space and my eyes are locked on the moon. Many souls all around the world are stepping into dreamland. And I decide to have another cup of coffee, filled with what it seems like endless scoops of sugar. As I sip my coffee I realize theres not a minute of sleep I will have till the next moonlight gleams
592 · Nov 2016
Journal Entry 98
hazael-fae Nov 2016
This morning I woke up to the cool air and the smell of rain that came from my half opened window. The sky way a shade of dark grey, and the mood was gloomy. I leaned forward the window to listen and watch the rain. The small but heavy drops made puddles on my window sill. The sent of coffee brewing peeked through the cracks under my door. And I finally got myself to climb out of my cozy and warm bed.
591 · Mar 2016
Crumbled Thoughts
hazael-fae Mar 2016
I’m curious what others minds think
The thoughts in mine
are they in theres too?
Or am I the only one?
The only one
with
these aggravating thoughts
always built up and crumbled
in my mind.
hazael-fae Oct 2016
the pale moon light shined on her face
as the crisp autumn air blew her long silk hair back
she sat on a bench staring at a beautiful muilicolored tree
she had a small journal in one hand and a paintbrush in the other
she paints a silent picture
the paint brush dashes from side to side
so much color so much flow
she admired the people walking by
she would love the way her hands started to feel numb the more she painted
she would sit in the same bench season after season painting the same trees the same sky
but it would always look different
524 · Mar 2017
sweet therapy
hazael-fae Mar 2017
Her eyes share the same color of the moon
the darkness passes by
and the shy sun kisses us with light
the wind whispers
foggy mists surround us
hypnotized by this realistic dream
we let our skin turn to ice
surrendering to this feeling
grateful for this air we touch
pure coldness blaze our skin
this soft sunlight filters through this land
its presence frees this bitterness from our skin
sweet therapy
498 · Nov 2016
Flooded Brain
hazael-fae Nov 2016
Thoughts over flood in my mind. It's like someone is stirring around my brain like a homemade stew. It never stops twirling, it never stops thinking. Thoughts are being replayed. My eyes become blurry and heavy, I struggle to keep them open, but my mind won't let me sleep. Another restless night, kept up by the sound of my loud and obnoxious thoughts.
hazael-fae Sep 2016
the glimmering reflection of the moon shined in the puddle of ginger tea
my shadow portrayed over the broken pieces of the musty blue tea cup
the golden sun disappears but the moon gleams lighter
as if the moon was disappearing as well
460 · Oct 2016
the soul I've longed to see
hazael-fae Oct 2016
The eyes of a soul I've missed for what seems like a life time, looks my way. And your lips curl up to form a smile, I so desperately needed to see.  
I almost forgot what your voice sounded like. but when your foggy breath spoke words to me, a feeling of relief drenched my body. A feeling felt much stronger than the bleak air.
409 · Mar 2017
be your own 'being'
hazael-fae Mar 2017
your mind may be lost, but everything lost can be found. You don't know where you should be, you don't know if you can be. What you want to be is someone else's 'being' You CAN NOT force your mind to be another, to  think feel and act like others. You should let your mind breath, let it pull itself where it desires to be. Where you want to be deep down. Someone else's 'being' is not yours. You need to find your own reason to be.
this is mostly about how people lose themselves to be like others, to follow others and other peoples foot steps, this is something I've gone through. I'm looking around this room I'm in, reading the people who are going through what I've gotten past.
367 · May 2018
laugh little one
hazael-fae May 2018
whispered memories
gated truths
misery behind a laugh
playful child
run with the butterflies
forget all these ties
they aren't apart of you
so run create fun
these whispered memories
are not apart of you
a limb
your subconscious mind
tore apart from you.
so run little child
let your wings sore
and fly with the doves
sing little child
sing with the birds
play little child
let the grass grow so tall it tickles your nose
be graceful little one
because you can now
this limb is detached
laugh little one
because there is no more pain to hide behind
you are strong little one
mighty even
you're brave
little one
you are all
just laugh little one
let the whispers go with the wind
take stand for yourself
let this lesson be the whispered memory
to remind you to be brave, fearless, childlike
to take this pain and consciously detach it from yourself
to carry on
be the little one
the fearless one
366 · Sep 2016
Untitled
hazael-fae Sep 2016
Sitting alone
watching the leaves
closing me eyes
as I take a sip of my piping hot coffee
the bitter autumn wind flips the pages of my journal
the sky become gloomy
and the fire is lit
still with a mug in my hand
I sip hot chocolate
357 · Mar 2017
gust
hazael-fae Mar 2017
where ever the wind takes me

ill let it guide me to a place I'm meant to be

nothing but living simply free

escaping reality i finally can see

this is how things were meant to be
347 · Jan 2017
Bird
hazael-fae Jan 2017
I'm a bird
flying away
from the flock
of feelings
i need to abandon
hazael-fae Sep 2016
There is more knowledge then the things you learn in school. Public education alone kills creativity, school is to make you ready for the real world, but the real world is different for everybody. We are taught in our lives that we have to be working 40 hours a week 40 years of your life till you receive your retirement fund and be able to relax. Most of the meaningful things that you have learned in your life, that has helped you become what you want to be in your life is something that you will not learn in school. The most inspirational and life changing events that happen in your life have not happened inside a building that you sit in for 6 hours 5 days a week. We are supposed to believe that you can't do anything unless you graduate unless you go to college, you will not go far in life if you drop out of school. But yet we read and learn about inspirational people who have not completed a high school education, inside a classroom. Yes we all do need to be taught how to read how to use proper grammar and learn about the world we all live in. But so many things we are all taught we will not use everyone is born different will do different things.
214 · Dec 2016
Coffee Flavored Snow
hazael-fae Dec 2016
she had snowflakes stuck in her eyelashes
and the taste of sweet coffee upon her lips
she loved stepping in the undisturbed snow
a memory of her was placed with every step
a storm of lightly fallen snow surrounded her
and her soul lights brighter than the snow
211 · Oct 2019
dancing within the clouds
hazael-fae Oct 2019
She is a blob of energy
dancing
frolicking through the clouds.
The storm tangles her
sending her up twirling.
She rides through the storms
toughening her skin.
dancing through the winds
a beautiful tale of who she is.
Strong.
She can handle anything the wind carries
176 · Jun 2018
Pearl
hazael-fae Jun 2018
Her whole being seemed to blossom from a glistening pearl, rolling through grains of sand, seas washed over every gland, sun rays beamed through her, she became and channeler of this light, and with all her might, she could embody this light, when the dawn brought twilight, she would embody the starlight. She became all, sitting on the shores of the seas, she was an essence of the universes beauties
165 · Oct 2016
Lady with no Body
hazael-fae Oct 2016
Her numb fingers flipped the pages of tale she knew and loved. She knew reading would cost her, her own body. But she loved the feeling of disappearing until the tale was closed. She would always sit in her favorite place, a bench located in a abandoned park. It was about the time of autumn, her breath would show with fog but her lips weren't visible. Her grandmother would always read this tale on the same bench and she would love seeing her disappear. Some of the words I couldn't read then, but now it's a easy read.
151 · Nov 2018
the tall mans words
hazael-fae Nov 2018
I'm starved of fear and hopelessness, I'm out of touch with my truest happiness. Numbly feeding my soul sorrow. It is easy to be controlled when you have no clue its happening. My thoughts are telling me to follow my heart, and let it drive me to peace. Take care of your true happiness and cherish it, because it is the only thing you seek in your time of breath. Let it take you to the air you wish to inhale, a atmosphere you can soak yourself in. Reach for the guide within yourself, let it pull you to a place where your soul dances freely. Listen to the tall mans words of wisdom, let the syllables bring peace, guidance, power, focus, love; for the world and yourself, blessings, ambition. Let these words, spoken by the tall man bring you to a place when the breeze brings you safety, a place when you can breath and let the warm earths love overwhelm your body. A place where your heart beats to the earths music, a place where your skin dances with the rain.
151 · Dec 2016
us
hazael-fae Dec 2016
us
eyes that glow from the moonlight
lips that curl up to form a smile
minds that spin and spin
bodies that tangle themselves together
hands that grasp onto each other
hearts that thump stronger than ever
lungs that breath one another's air
hazael-fae May 2018
there i lie in a dream of another
awake, action, fear, loss, heartache, goals, creation, religion, ideas
everything that i was feeling, doing was inside the dream of another
every thought i thought was a thought i had heard from another body that was in this dream
this dream is built on every single person
these famous words
are spoken by the people who walk upon this dream
this dream, written by society
but what is society?
a dream?
i lie still in this dream
i have zero control on how i would like to dream
its like my hand my feet my soul is a puppet
of the mastermind
i dream of a dream i would like to live in
but as my eyes open i feel myself in the presence of another
i am lucid dreaming in society
how can i collect myself as just myself and not part of this dream
this dream is making me a madman, insane, i want to rip my hair out
to the thought of thinking like another walking upon the dream
of society
because this dream is crazy
if you think about it
wouldn't we all like to be placed in a different world
a different society
a different dimension
our minds seek more
yet we are confined by this dream
controlled
yet we all don't have a single clue
but thats what drives me crazy
no ones conscious
no ones risking stepping out of this dream
no one is
because how?
to control a dream that is not in your own mind is simple impossible
I'm crazy
121 · Dec 2016
.
hazael-fae Dec 2016
.
she admired the way people breath to judge wake to harm and sleep to do it again.
102 · Oct 2019
.
hazael-fae Oct 2019
.
Hold on to me my love
will you take this dance?
our hands fit together like a puzzle
our souls on light
our essence twirling
completely in the moment
99 · Dec 2019
Crashing Waves
hazael-fae Dec 2019
She's riding within the tides of ups and downs
they roar in with strength
hitting her hard

This sends her flying
her whole reality spinning
she's twirling in a euphoric feeling

She's drowning in thoughts
settling into a panic
she's craving stillness

but she's surrounded by chaos
another wave comes crashing
sending her dancing with her demons

then suddenly the water becomes still
the waters covered in a peace hue
she apologies to her body.
91 · Nov 2018
eyes
hazael-fae Nov 2018
within the depths of your moss eyes
hold a reflection of the stars
mystic hands that glide over constellations
tonight we shine brighter than the moon
88 · Nov 2019
Cleansing witches brew
hazael-fae Nov 2019
Catch the flowing creak water pouring with energy
Fill your ***
Pile in the bays
The loose chamomile
Crumble in the dry autumn leaves
A dash of sage in the hands of three
One sprinkles rose pedals
Another a chunk of ginger
And a swirl of peppermint oil.
A whole apple
Fresh pine trimmings
Three pine cones
As it comes to a boil and the smoke pours
The smell will grace the space
60 · Nov 2020
Gold
hazael-fae Nov 2020
Morning hue of sunrise sends her skin a golden kiss. Lingering thoughts lead into coffee stained note pads. She grants her body love with movement, she listened to her breath, counting each inhale as it was like a wave rushing in.
hazael-fae Oct 2018
The breeze swings through her morning hair. A beep breath and she twirls her toes into the cold sand. Ripples lapping lilypads,
upon a golden pond. Her childlike ways. She smiles as she admires the beauty of the early morning purple hue. She has a gypsy heart. Always driven to see all that she can see. She dives into the wonderous waters, and swims all her worries away. And as she arises she is ready. Ready to live, to see, to eat, to hear, to be, to learn, to feel, to find what shes meant to find in the world and in herself.
52 · Oct 2020
Tomorrows treasure
hazael-fae Oct 2020
Lavender filled skies with cotton clouds
Everything feels as still can be
I feel like I am the only person in the world
The sweet taste of salty air
The grains of sand flutter over my skin
A feeling so blissful.
The small things open my eyes to the beauty all around us all.
The waves push the grains dancing
the sea shells settle into the shore
Tomorrow's treasures that create
Memories and romance.
The first star shines through the rushing clouds.
44 · Nov 2021
Home within the mountains
hazael-fae Nov 2021
In the depths of the autumn wind
I find myself stirring on my travels
Where i found myself lost by the ocean
I knew my way home was to the mountians
Where the crisp air flows
Where the snow will fall heavy
Where the caribou run free
I walk along the same river my ancestors built and lost their wigwams
I light flames where many danced to the sacred heartbeat
My home didnt feel home by the waves
38 · Oct 2019
.
hazael-fae Oct 2019
.
she's singing alongside the wind
her melodies drift through the leaves

— The End —