addicted
turning on you
you’re more toxic
than ******
scroll fluid
in my veins
you're dangerous
a sweet poison
harmful to my health
I fill myself with you
of your essence
every fiber of me
wants to feel you
your voice
your words
your smell
your hands
your mouth
light me up
and raise me
to dizzying heights
and they throw with me
in adrenalin
descents
that leave me breathless
you’re never enough
darkness takes you away
and I’m  in withdrawal symptoms
you’re  hot oil
in my veins
burn
my nervous system
my heart
is covered with pus
a thin and  unquenchable
itchy
crawls under my skin
my brain cells
seeking frantic
satisfaction
in wrinkles of memory
dig every corner
crave a drop of you
forgotten on  the bottom
of an empty bottle
you’re toxic
abstinence
doesn’t give me  peace
I’m alienated in a whirl
of strobe lights
sweat
dehydrated
confused
find me
take me
save me

too much selfish
too much altruism
too much hate
too much love
too much hope
too much disillusionment
too many expectations
too much erudition
too much ignorance
too little respect
too little condescension

too much  selfish
leads to indifference
too much altruism
leads to cancellation of himself
too much hate
leads to war
too much love
leads to obsession
too much hope
leads to utopia
too much disillusionment
leads to resignation
too many expectations
lead to frustration
too much erudition
leads to the illusion of omnipotence
too much ignorance
leads to  unconsciousness
too little respect
leads to arrogance
too little compliance
leads to loneliness

what is the right way?
an excessive too much?
an apathetic enough?

maybe
diversities
of our lives
of our lies
of our perceptions of truth
of our perceptions of justice
maybe
our too much
or too little
or enough
are the aequilibrium
of our world?

maybe
the anachronistic belief
of  the different awareness
perceived as a resource
not as the tendency
of standardize everything
in a fake flat same
would finally
lead
to peace

again
I’m crashed
against the wall of solitude
again
the flight of waiting
inexorably went down
again
I'm not even worth a no to you
only silence
absence
[ ]
I’m alone in my lonelyness

the only way to survive
it's letting you go
let you go
it's like dying
denying  the thought of you
it's like living in the dark
I’ll become blind
I’ll become dry
but I'll be alive ...
will I ?

like a wave
patient
crosses the ocean
to break on the beach
and finally
rest
I through
my entire  life
patient
to arrive
one day in your arms
and finally
feel at home

and
you’re waiting
for someone
who doesn’t arrive
and
you’re seeking
his smile
his eyes
in everyone  is coming  to you
and
minute by minute
your smile
passes away
and
at that very moment
you feel
deeply lonely
in a smiley crowd

and yet
I need you
a leaf a flower the wind
bring me back to you
you appear
you rise in my mind
suddenly
inevitably
unavoidably

and yet
the sun has risen and set
the flowers have faded and blossomed
without our voices
could recognize themselves
without our eyes
could fascinate themselves
symbiotically
united in another place

and yet
you were there
you are there
you'll be there
our lines confused and indivisible
oblivion
hopeless fight against myself
it is a perpetual magic
transposition of reality

and yet
I wait
I wait for you
in our secret garden
where only you can go in
just you have the key
where
silently
I love you

red shoes
cracked heel
a woman
folded in the shade
broken
or roughly interrupted


it was a caress
it was a kiss
it was a hug
it was love
it's a punch
it's a grin
it's scary
it’s infected love
my blind love
your sick love
it was air and light
it's metal flavor in my mouth
kicks in my belly
vomited words
our guilty love
hypnotic poison


yes
you can!  
**** me.
**** me !  
but  
before  
my eyes close
in the eternal darkness!  
please!
line to me  
I need the darkness in your eyes  
please !  
give me  
a last beautiful oblivion!



I lie
motionless
cold dirt  above me
badly thrown with the ****
wet  
by tears of those who loved me
your tears
your guilty love
there’s no more light
for me cold corpse
a flower into my hand
withered
food for worms
my end
your          END

                                       you, interrupted
                                          interrupted.
                                            your skin
                                            your eyes
                                           your heart
                                                off.
                                             un-love
                                          your tyrant
                                        too much love
                                          your mate
                                          closed eyes
                                            my fault
                                              hush
                                           my useless
                                             silent cry

ask me if I'm happy
don't stop at the smile
ask me if I'm happy
go beyond the appearance
ask yourself if you're happy
the real smile is not seen
it's tattooed on the heart

like a red leaf
slipped on the street
beautiful and melancholy
apart from you
beautiful and melancholy
doomed to dry up

back to you
as always
sometimes
I walk away
I don’t feel up
I’m overcome
but in the end
I’m back
I’m always back to you
because
you
are my own essence
when
I’m back to you
I’m back to me

bare

bare
I tremble
I'm cold
do you see my dark?
do you hear my silence?
hug me
..here
the dawn
..here
the song of the lark !

yes
no
no
yes
i love you
i can't love you
i'm here for you
absence
please
please
be strong
say yes or no
be a man
decide.
i know what i want
is just you
what is your choice?

the beginning ...
is the end of something
the end ...
is the beginning of something
a thin line
painted by our mind
between fear and hope
nothing is defined
a confused beginning
of an endless end
shaded shadows
of the same moon

vagabond
i'm looking for
the sense

into the murky water
I seek the color
the whole being

you said I'm gonna *******
I heard I love you
you said you're hot
I understand you're beautiful
you slapped my ***
I felt a caress
you said it’s over
I opened my eyes
you said get away from me
I felt cold

a woman smiles
while walking alone
dragging her suitcase
she's happy
soon she'll meet her daughter;
a little girl
a red flower
in her hands
a surprise for mom ;
a man is working
the back hurts
but he resists .... soon he'll return home
his wife is waiting for him for lunch ;
two children crying
dad scolded them ;
one man talking on the phone
he'll sign an important agreement;
people
thoughts
smiles
hopes
life
...
a roar
a glow
a bomb !
everything stops
tears
fear
smoke
the ceiling on the floor
a flower on the ground
red into gray
a little ******* the ground
her mom will not come;
a wife at home
her husband will not be back for lunch;
...
a bomb
a flash
and it's all over
hope dies
buried by hatred
...
a red petal
and everything can start again

stop
close your eyes
breathe .
breathe .
the world is still spinning
the sky is still above you
breathe .
breathe .
your heart is still  beating
the blood is still flowing in your veins
stop
open your eyes
breathe .
breathe !
scent of violets
a ray of sunshine through the clouds
breathe .
breathe !
smile
run to meet life !

the same past
the same colors
the same principles
the same qualities ...
but this was true until yesterday
today two parallel roads
we quarreled .. do you remember?
always seeking  each other
consolation
of my overnight  anxieties
warm embrace of my tears ..
you
because of my tears !
puppies like cats and dogs ...
a real pain ..
but always present
the one for the other !
this is true even now ...
so close ...
but so far ..
I miss you ...
but life is this ...
changes and different  roads ...
but the heart doesn’t change ...
love doesn’t change ...
we are brothers ..
this doesn’t change !

the moon in your eyes
the stars in your heart
your red lips open in a drunk smile 
in a trepidatious waiting
for a dawn that you still  didn’t see
for a sunset that you still didn’t  live
you're waiting
that the sun will warm you
that the sea will lull you    
you're waiting
crossed by a subtle pleasure ..
an excited fear .. 
that everything vanishes
as in a dream upon awakening
but the dawn
the sunset
the heat
the sea
so yearned for ..
worthless now !
finally
you feel
slipping on your rainbow
a kaleidoscopic emotion
while your eyes stars at his
both closed in a bubble

no reason
just lies
but
my heart is waiting for you
my eyes are looking for you
my dreams live you

bored
restless
drugged with thoughts
overwhelmed by contradictions
there's no peace for me
spiritually entangled
from your distance
looking for an ancestral relief
or maybe .. carnal?

right choices
at the wrong time
bad choices
at the right time
choices
that change your life
unexpected consequences
contradictions
leading you
in arduous paths
which will condition
your trip
deviations
that turn against you
choices
of which you will regret
every moment of your existence
choices
you have not completed
lack of courage
that you will regret
until you run out of breath
leaps into the void
clashes
wounds
choices
unavoidable
words
that define your being

you look at me
I look at you
you look at me

you look at me
I close my eyes
and .. you look at me

again and again
I feel wrapped
by your gaze

a rainbow bird
imprisoned
in a golden cage

settled
silent
on a flowers swing

an amber powder butterfly
locked
in her silk cocoon

dense twine of looks
and static silences
and broken wings

a gesture
a look
infinitesimal interlockings
of thoughts and dreams
lightning awareness
to love you
and be loved

a red sky
over me
iced blood
inside me

sometimes
somewhere
could I
.... finally be?

you're gone
all words
have turned to ash with you

Your eyes don't see me
I talk to you and you don't hear me
I can't reach you
A layer of rubber covers you
I would like to tear it up
and yell at you
All my love
All the love you gave me
My pain feeds on
your unwitting words
Fragments of you lost
One tear at a time
Fragments of me torn
Thrown into your oblivion
A crumbling rock
I fight with a sword of nothing
I can't win
I can't save you
I can only love you

I look for your eyes
in his
I look for your voice
in his
I look for your taste
in his
I look for you
in him !
I close my eyes
feel your skin
feel your hands
feel you !
your breath
your heart beating
I open my eyes
... and I see
the darkness

in dead silence
a blow
a breath
slow
a drop of blood...
red
wraps the darkness
cold heat...
it's lost
...all is lost !

I stare your eyes
and I see love
I touch your skin
and I feel your warmth
I smell you
and I imagine a forest after the rain
I listen to your voice calling  my name
and I hear a symphony
I watch you
and I see my destiny

I lie
motionless
in this mahogany coffin
wrapped in  purple silk
cold earth above me
badly thrown with the ****
wet
by salty tears of those who loved me
your tears
your guilty love
there’s no more light
nor heat
for me cold corpse
a flower into my hand
withered
rotted
food for worms
my end
your     end

i can fight
against giants
i can fight
against appearences
i can fight
against prejudice
but
i can't fight
against disappointment
of your surrender

a buzz
the only sound in the dark
ah !
disappointment disappointed !
never butterfly
flew higher

a dream
that's you are
just a dream
nothing else

motionless
cold
suspended
staying afloat in the fog
seeking drops of light

I flight
in a pink sky
that glows purple
pushed by a lightly breeze
that becomes storm
I taste
a slow pleasure
that becomes suffering
I feel
a growing need
that becomes instinct
I burn
of a flame
which becomes fire
I’m  consumed
by a hunger
that satisfies my senses
a passing wait
for  a throb of delight
here …
ecstasy
arrives!

a clean sheet
for a longtime
immaculate
empty
like me
like my soul
like my mind
no thoughts
soft shadows
impalpable
slivers of me
invisible
matched  letters
in a forgotten language

end
three letters
three daggers
Stick in my hearth

I say go
but I mean stay
I say enough
but I mean again and again
I still love you
forever
I love you
I say enough
I move away without turning
waiting for
your hand should hold me
I say enough
your silence screams
.. enough

everyday
I look for you
in words
in looks
in smells
everyday
I find you
in my heart
open arms
ready
to greet me

black, like the sound of silence.
heavy, like the emptiness of your absence.
salty, like guilt.
impervious, like the road to reach you.
long, like the echo of your memory.
every single night,
colorless.

a huge moment
a thrill under the lashes
the explosion of a thousand fragments
an exchange of souls
nothing has been the same
you and I belong to each other

july 2015
the expiry date
imprinted on my back
expired
rotted
vacuum to lose

fake stars
in the sky
fake you
in my mind
fake all around me

I’m falling
there is no horizon
there is no bottom
there is no light
my eyes shine
shrouded in darkness
I’m falling
my silent cry
faces
eyes
far
I’m falling
darkness surrounds me
my eyes are closing
silence
deafening noise
of my mute  scream

a whitening smile
offers me
a mirage
dignity
pride
respect
love
but
all  I can buy
is
a  secondhand love