Temporay forevers,
distant tomorrows.
Broken yesterdays
drenched in tears
of sorrow.
Permanent questions
with temporary answers.
These thoughts
have filled me with silence,
spreading through my
body like a cancer.

It was the sweetest start
with the most bitter ending.
My mother's love
is a decision that
is forever pending.
My open wounds
beg for salt,
even though they
throb of the pain
when it gets rubbed in.
I've come close
to death's pool before,
but have never had
the courage to be thrown in.

I ask for you wherever I go,
you're the cure for which
I have always been searching.
The only conclusions
I've ever come to are
those which leave
my soul purging.
Undress my heart
and renew my soul.
Be the *******
which keeps my blood surging.

Take me to other side
where the grass isn't
so green.
Show me the places
where you hide
when your soul
bleeds and screams.
Feed me truth,
feed me lies,
feed me anything.
Feed me love or
feed me hate;
for I am in between.

Shadow me or
light me up,
blaze me with your heat.
Take me down and
sell my soul on
the corner of the street.
Walk over me like
an old rug
and **** me
like I'm cheap.
Only you can take me
to Wonderland
where the darkness rules
and the light is *weak.

I've got time on my mind,
I've got drugs on my mind.
I'm doing lines in my mind,
hoping I don't die in my mind.
I try not to mind,
but it's killing me inside.
I've lost love many times -
I've never found the true kind.
I stand alone in the light,
all I have is time on my side.
My soul is darker
than the night,
but I don't navigate
my life blind.
She says she loves
me more than life,
but no words can
remove this knife;
it's stuck in my back,
reminding me to always
think twice.
I have trust issues.

What draws her attention
is when I don't give
her attention
and the truth is
I love her,
but it's something
that I'd rather not mention.
She's fishing for answers,
I'm only giving her questions.
I always fall for the girls
with the most class,
but somehow I never
learn my lesson.
I'm starving for love
and I bite too hard
when I taste it.
I'm trying to keep
my heart steady
so that the beat
doesn't get wasted.
I hope when she reads this
she understands
the look on my face and
why when she started
running I never
went chasing.
I gave up.

These trust issues
have got me so confused.
It doesn't matter whether
I love or hate,
somehow I always lose.
I'm trying to make
it to the top,
so I can have a better view.
But I'm stuck at the bottom
and it isn't something new.
I don't need someone
to pick me up or
come to my rescue.
I realize that it's
something that only I can do.
But everytime I look
at my shadow I
wish it was you.
You used to tell me
I can do anything that I plan.
Where did it all change?
It always falls through
and hurts me so bad.
And I know that it's the
sight of me you can't stand,
but I just wanted you to know
that I'm your number one fan.
*I wrote this for you.