What happens when your thick skin
Wears thin
The things you hide
No longer so deep inside
They slip from your mouth
And relationships go south
That although you ran from them
They grow and cause mayhem
Messing with your brain
Causing you to strain
Eats away at your self esteem
While pretending to be on your team
You dreams become nightmares
You begin to lose your hairs
You try to escape!
But you just lay there mouth agape
Words like spiders crawl out of your mouth
As you walk true south
You are losing your mind
So you go to a doctor to see what he will find
He says your just crazy a waste of his time
So you wait till the night is prime
You follow him home
And then bury the leftover bone

Darkness
Is evil
It is completely Heartless
It is young yet medieval
With its torture and death
It steals the babys soul
Before it takes its first breath
Its arms the color of coal
Death’ s door step closer then you thought
Darkness is immortal it will NEVER die
It is everywhere even in your hiding spot
You thought you could hide from its eye
The only escape
Is for your life to end
Make a noose from a drape
Right a note to a friend
And push the chair under the noose
While darkness snickers silently
Put the noose on make sure it is not to loose
Soon you begin to sob violently
But the darkness whispers in your ear
You deserve this
NoOne wants you here
Then moves away with a hiss
As you kick away the chair
And you hang dangling by your neck
With little to no hair
You vision gets blurry and then is but a speck
Your breath painful
Your mind filled with darkness
You know this is baneful
But it closes in with starkness
That is just DARKNESS

Darkness Is perfect
It is completely Heartless
It does not reflect
It does not care
When you die
It has no “cross” to bare
Do you think it would cry?

Whats so cool about ***
Why do people want it so bad
Is it because we talk about it so much
Why does it drive people mad
It has the power to make a good person perverse
It can make a man ****
But all for what
For a duty to fulfill
To repopulate
Is it simply what we are made to do
Or is it something totally exempt from all dimensions of knowledge
It does not make sense if im being true

If love is great
Why does it hurt
If love is divine why does it drive me crazy
If we get smart why do we revert

Are you scared?
Are you mad
Have you ever been ensnared?
No well thats to bad
Well its not to late
Just you wait
Are you sad?
All alone and wishing.
wishes dont come true you know.

I slap away My anger
I push back the grief
I swallow up my hatred
But still a little sneaks out
I throw away the racism
I crumple up the pain
I try to ignore the feelings
But still a little sneaks out
I catch the happy
I steal the glad
I Trap the joy
And keep it for my self
I inject joy to my voice
I drink happiness
I swallow all my gladness

Jars are everywhere
Hair in *****
Ventilator next to hair drier
Syringe next to lip stick
Ashtray and alcohol
Red lipstick stain on the mirror
Tissues on the floor
Scissors and extensions
Wigs galore
An unfinished letter
Stained with teardrops and blood
A poem called
Depression
The ending never written
Never to be written
A vase of roses
A note on a card
“Sorry about the loss!”
Cards on the window sill
Get well soon
Happy valentines day
I love you
We miss you
They read never to be looked at again by their intended reader
Broken glass
Empty wine bottle
Hole in the wall
Bruised lady cold on the bed
Blue going up her arm like the lace around the hem
Of the dazzling dress she wore
That night
The night she was diagnosed Cancer free
Back to the stage
But only for a night

The night was long.
the air was cool
i had my earbuds in and i drift away
i start to sway with the breeze
the music just takes me away
My movements swift
as i move to the song whispering in my ears
It pulses and moves
Alive, the beat of the song its heart
The rhythm its movements twisting and turning
My body transported i am part of this creature
It move with my dance steps the tempo increasing
I am wild as a tiger
I am as docile as a mouse
I am elegant as a princess
I have grown a pair of wings
I sigh as the song starts to fade
Its beautiful song ends bringing me back to
reality.

The night was long.
the air was cool
i had my earbuds in and i drift away
i start to sway with the breeze
the music just takes me away
My movements swift
as i move to the song whispering in my ears
It pulses and moves
Alive, the beat of the song its heart
The rhythm its movements twisting and turning
My body transported i am part of this creature
It move with my dance steps the tempo increasing
I am wild as a tiger
I am as docile as a mouse
I am elegant as a princess
I have grown a pair of wings
I sigh as the song starts to fade
Its beautiful song ends bringing me back to
reality.

There once was a girl
Who collected all creatures
All with at least one curl
she had screechers
And when passing she would say hi merl
Or hey mr. preachers
But all of them were well
Well fed well mannered and even well.. Pampered
For if they wanted anything they would just ring a bell
They would scamper
Here and scamper there
For every where they may play
As long as they don't touch their hair
Then they may do as wish as long as they obey
It was a sad thing if they did not listen
For example the day casey braided her hair
Oh how her eyes did glisten
With a mischievous flair
When she was caught you could see realization in her eyes
And soon after her hair was bleached and turned green
And tried a many lies.
But the look Gave her away
now i am sure you can find the moral. But if you can’t i will help do not disobey
your elders or they may dye your hair.

evil is when heart that you love turns black and all you see is hatred
evil is the smirk that creeps onto your face as you hurt the person you don’tlike.
evil is a heart that is hurting, crying, and hardening and you can tell but walk away.
evil is when you look into your best friends eyes and don’t recognize anything
evil is the mother who kicks the pregnant daughter out and does not talk to her
evil is the woman who finds out that she is pregnant and decides on abortion
evil is the heart that holds no love. This is evil but being different, crying, and being angry are not.

Darkness is when the earth seems to be in completely still.
And the only thing alive seems to be you
Darkness is the moon when it overlaps the sun and for the few seconds it is complete and utter darkness.

As i watch the tears fall from my sister's eyes as she is dragged by her hair

Her whimpers as her face gets scraped on the concrete.

The ****** elbows, ****** knees, ****** face all covered in her salty tears

The hazy yet sorrow filled look in her eyes, As each step the officer takes brings more tears down her face.

The one who was holding me back so i could not go save her.

My tears OUR tears splashing on the parking lot.

The look on the policeman's face as he shoves her in his car.

My mom yelling because he hurt my sister and she did not deserve it.

Just let it go  
it’s over now.
It was years ago
Don’t be a baby
She probably deserved it
Thats all thats the reason you dont like cops
The things people say all running through my head making me confused.
It reminds me of the time when i did not share just kept the hurt inside
The hurt of being touched and feeling really bad
Of ****** harassment in my own bed
At the tender age of  6 my childhood began to crumble
And from there it was as though if i tumbled i would fall
Fall into a life full of sadness and depression
So at the age of 15 i decided to grab a knife and punish myself
Punishment for not helping my sister at the age of 7
Punishment for being a burden
Punishment for my pain
Punishment for the pain i have caused the tears that paved the way
And the thing i carved right in my leg was
Be happy
I had to be happy about today and about tomorrow
Happy about the pain
Push through it was all so long ago anyways
I had to make myself ok
Make myself better so i could be a hero
And rescue my family forever
As it continued i began to remember the things i have gone through
My mom moved away was it my fault?
My sister is addicted to heroine is that my fault?
My heart feels as though a tap would make it crumble.
And with that i continue to stumble
Stumble through my life pretending everything is normal
Worried that i will hurt someone and make them feel alone
Worried about what their lives are like at home
I cried myself to sleep night after night
And what i go for proof is the scars from that night
Oh yes i cracked eventually i broke down a sobbing mess
But in doing so told about the painful thing i did to my leg
I went to a therapist the 4th the 5th the 6th? Who knows what number this one is?
But what i do know is this
My pills seemed to stop working quite as well and know i feel as though my life is a lot like hell
I can’t fix it on my own
But why would i want to tell
I talk to my mom,my dad , both pairs but not together i talk to my sister who is doing fine but could always be better
I guess there is a redeeming part in the end
My family does not blame the way i did then
My family tells me they love me and they care
My family says they will be here for me even when i want to run
They will follow me for sure
When i say i'll run away
They all come run with me.
My family loves me this is true
But why i ask myself
But when i ask my question aloud the answer is yes
Yes we love your quirks yes we love your faults.