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staysha Dec 2018
My head pulses to the beat of my heart
My music continues as i ignore the pain
but I like music
Im not really hurting myself if im enjoying it right?
staysha Dec 2018
Its voice in my head is almost silent
I have pushed it back so far,
I barely hear its weeping
The tell tale sting in my eye
The congestion starting now
I try to push it back again
But this time i went to far
Bottled monsters dont want to stay
Cramped and shoved all the way in
They want out
But i want them in!
I struggle to keep them back
As my defense weaks they grow stronger
Waiting for a chance to erupt out of me
Like fire from a dragon's mouth
Lava from a volcano
First one breaks free
Then another
And before I know it
Im a screaming, crying
Snotting, Stomping,
And then it stops.
The calm in the storm i Calm down reevaluate
    Breath deeply
And its gone im fine!
I was always fine
You told me i was fine didnt you?
You always were there for me werent you
You were there when it happened
You did not leave me did you
You told me to let them out didnt you??
You would NEVER allow me to hurt my self this way!
Would you?
You love me right?
Yeah i know i love you too.
an internal struggle
staysha Dec 2018
What happens when your thick skin
Wears thin
The things you hide
No longer so deep inside
They slip from your mouth
And relationships go south
That although you ran from them
They grow and cause mayhem
Messing with your brain
Causing you to strain
Eats away at your self esteem
While pretending to be on your team
You dreams become nightmares
You begin to lose your hairs
You try to escape!
But you just lay there mouth agape
Words like spiders crawl out of your mouth
As you walk true south
You are losing your mind
So you go to a doctor to see what he will find
He says your just crazy a waste of his time
So you wait till the night is prime
You follow him home
And then bury the leftover bone
this poem is totally weird and i dont know where it came from but i think it is also kind of has a beautiful darkness to it
staysha Dec 2018
Is evil
It is completely Heartless
It is young yet medieval
With its torture and death
It steals the babys soul
Before it takes its first breath
Its arms the color of coal
Death’ s door step closer then you thought
Darkness is immortal it will NEVER die
It is everywhere even in your hiding spot
You thought you could hide from its eye
The only escape
Is for your life to end
Make a noose from a drape
Right a note to a friend
And push the chair under the noose
While darkness snickers silently
Put the noose on make sure it is not to loose
Soon you begin to sob violently
But the darkness whispers in your ear
You deserve this
NoOne wants you here
Then moves away with a hiss
As you kick away the chair
And you hang dangling by your neck
With little to no hair
You vision gets blurry and then is but a speck
Your breath painful
Your mind filled with darkness
You know this is baneful
But it closes in with starkness
That is just DARKNESS
darkness part 2
staysha Dec 2018
Darkness Is perfect
It is completely Heartless
It does not reflect
It does not care
When you die
It has no “cross” to bare
Do you think it would cry?
1 of a 2 part poem
staysha Dec 2018
Whats so cool about ***
Why do people want it so bad
Is it because we talk about it so much
Why does it drive people mad
It has the power to make a good person perverse
It can make a man ****
But all for what
For a duty to fulfill
To repopulate
Is it simply what we are made to do
Or is it something totally exempt from all dimensions of knowledge
It does not make sense if im being true
I dont understand the need for *** the unending desire and craving i have for it and i truthfully dont believe many people do.
staysha Dec 2018
If love is great
Why does it hurt
If love is divine why does it drive me crazy
If we get smart why do we revert
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