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joan Jun 2017
i want
to know:
i am also
worth it
joan Jun 2018
everyone thinks i can
proclaim my love too easily
that poem flows out
of my mouth as if i understand
exactly what i am feeling
they would never know
what mess it is in
my mind before i find
the right words
or how my hands
are trembling too much
or why my heart
races too fast
because honestly,
behind these poems
behind these pretty words
i am not as good with
words of and or love

my whole body was
quivering behind these
love letters, love
aureate - pertaining to the fancy or flowery words used by poets
joan Sep 2018
why i do not want anyone to be
friends with me is that i know
they can't handle me, i am always
too much. i am a handful of
uncontrollable messㅡshattered
bones and pierced soul. because
at first, they would think i got
my life together, that i am the most
stable person ever. then, when
my veil rolls down, you'll see the
horror in their eyes. they'd back
up, slowly walking away from my
ruins for they are afraid to touch
my broken glass edges. no
one's too brave to stay with me
with my broken parts shown.
people always leave. so as soon
i have someone starting to be
around me, i prepare myself for
the worst, for their leaving, for my
loneliness (yet again). and
maybe this is why i do not want
anyone to be friends with me:
they'll make me grow attached
to them, almost trusting them with
my shattered pieces when in
reality, they're afraid of it. they
have always been afraid of me.
this is me trying to justify why i ghosted youㅡi was afraid, too.
joan Nov 2018
i can't.
it's ineffable.
the love i have for you, i mean.
ineffable (adj.) ㅡ beyond word expression
joan Nov 2018
you are
the winter
yet also the
spring, the
and bass lines
i seek for in the
loveliest songs,
the embodiment
of ethereality
in this hopeless
planet and if
anyone asks me
of my favourite
art, darling, i'll say
your name.
ㅡ happiest birthday, ljh, my beloved
joan Jun 2017
i don't want to let go
of the hands
i have yet to hold
hold me, instead.
joan Aug 2018
is it a crime              
for the moon    
to love                      
the ocean's depth                
   when space        
forbid their romance?
joan Nov 2017
music notes in your veins
melodies in your chest
clearly, when you sing your song
the stars shine the brightest

the universe sings with you
the planets stills to listen
and i, darling, will be just right here
finding poems in you yet to be written

fire of passion in your soul
dreams to chase in your vision
you dance with stars in your feet
lovely when rhythm sends you in motion

the cosmos is you
stars are planted under your skin
every constellation lie in your eyes
and i have loved you in every scene
ㅡ to ljh, my cosmos, happy birthday. thank you for dreaming and chasing it, for smiling bright, for singing with your heart, for making me fall for you, for living.
joan Jun 2017
they said on the dark,
stars shine the brightest
certainly, they haven't seen you dance
on stage when the lights are off
and the spotlight is on you
[—to my dancing star // happy birthday, ksy, thank you for dancing, for lighting up my world, for making me love you, for being born]

— The End —