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joan Jun 15
mid-june and in my country, it starts to rain
while in yours, it starts to heat up your days
our clouds present us different things
and i realize,
no matter how much i like rainy days,
i still long for how your sunny days felt like

you make me grow a garden of emotions
daisies and marigolds and honeysuckles
i could list summertime flowers until sunrise
iris, roses, and dandelions
what is more blameless than your hair being swept up by the wind?
any way, the daydream growing in me would either end up overflowing or exploding
and i would want it again

but sun child,
how could i not
when your laughter is of the sea being pulled by the moon
the zeal in your eyes comes in waves
and i am surfing. diving and dipping
in the way your voice sounds when you sing
i pull up to the surface drenched in awe
what is more enchanting than to watch you on the music?
ocean, lakes, swimming pools, rivers
cocktails, shores, names, lovers
there is no greater bliss than the gently delight you bring

"you are so lovely," i tell you at five in the afternoon by the waters
sunset and cold wind is passing by my skin
i am getting drunk on you
the moon glistening on the ocean is
just the stars in your eyes
i can feel the sunlight's warmth seep through my skin to my bones and settle in my chest
any way, it's either gonna overflow or explode
and there's something i want to tell you:
this is how loving you feels like, my love.

it rains in my place and the sun shines in yours
but i get back to loving you
and it was summertime
to my summertime rainㅡksy, happiest birthday. loving you is summertime.
joan Nov 2018
you are
the winter
yet also the
spring, the
and bass lines
i seek for in the
loveliest songs,
the embodiment
of ethereality
in this hopeless
planet and if
anyone asks me
of my favourite
art, darling, i'll say
your name.
ㅡ happiest birthday, ljh, my beloved
joan Nov 2018
i can't.
it's ineffable.
the love i have for you, i mean.
ineffable (adj.) ㅡ beyond word expression
joan Sep 2018
why i do not want anyone to be
friends with me is that i know
they can't handle me, i am always
too much. i am a handful of
uncontrollable messㅡshattered
bones and pierced soul. because
at first, they would think i got
my life together, that i am the most
stable person ever. then, when
my veil rolls down, you'll see the
horror in their eyes. they'd back
up, slowly walking away from my
ruins for they are afraid to touch
my broken glass edges. no
one's too brave to stay with me
with my broken parts shown.
people always leave. so as soon
i have someone starting to be
around me, i prepare myself for
the worst, for their leaving, for my
loneliness (yet again). and
maybe this is why i do not want
anyone to be friends with me:
they'll make me grow attached
to them, almost trusting them with
my shattered pieces when in
reality, they're afraid of it. they
have always been afraid of me.
this is me trying to justify why i ghosted youㅡi was afraid, too.
  Sep 2018 joan
Mr Quiet
I could give you the entire universe but then I would just be giving you yourself.
When You Used To Call Me Mine
Part 14/14
My new EP "s e r e n d i p i t y" is out now on Soundcloud! Hope you enjoy it :))
joan Aug 2018
is it a crime              
for the moon    
to love                      
the ocean's depth                
   when space        
forbid their romance?
joan Jun 2018
everyone thinks i can
proclaim my love too easily
that poem flows out
of my mouth as if i understand
exactly what i am feeling
they would never know
what mess it is in
my mind before i find
the right words
or how my hands
are trembling too much
or why my heart
races too fast
because honestly,
behind these poems
behind these pretty words
i am not as good with
words of and or love

my whole body was
quivering behind these
love letters, love
aureate - pertaining to the fancy or flowery words used by poets
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