I mistook salt for sugar
and it burned my mouth
every time I took a drink.
Sipping, I decided the sting
was more tolerable
in small doses.
But one accidental gulp
sent me running.
and now I’m just left with
a salty aftertaste in my mouth
Or maybe that’s my tears

the words seep into the pages
they slip from my mouth to my pen
leaking out on to the paper
        don’t read that
     it’s not meant for an audience
the words help me cope
make me feel less alone
numb the pain
        don’t read that
      it’s not meant for an audience
the words keep me up at night
chase away the demons
but make them seem all too real
        don’t read that
    it’s not meant for an audience

Watching through her window
she wonders the time.
The sun is slowly fading from sight
Closing the curtains
she slides to the floor
Hugging her knees
she aches for the morn
Flickering candles throw
shadows on the walls
She cries as the moon rises and the sun falls
Afraid not of the dark
but scared of the sleep
Her eyes threatening to close
with each passing hour.
Head drooping, she dips
into shallow dreams.
Though the nightmare will drown
her if she wades too deep.

The purplish fog of dusk sets in,
only minutes left before our childish fears
take hold again.
Walls hold dancing shadows, cold fingers reaching
out, inviting me to play.
Pale hands on mine, pulling me towards the gates
Smothering my cries, they take me away
taking me away to their sire.
Flames lick my hands as I’m pulled through the fire.
Finally the hands let go, I look around
only to find myself alone.
I’ve been here for ages now, the nightmare replaying in my head
Only minutes before I am free to dance with the rest of the dead
After the purplish fog of dusk sets in.

Colors stretching across the used canvas
Colliding, interlocking fingers
Grasping for understanding
Brush raised, hovering, shaking
Each stroke only adding to the pain
Hues of sorrow, shades of hurt
filling the spaces.
Soft pattering breaking the silence
as the tears spill over the edge,
streaking the freshly painted facade

World spinning too quickly,
dreams floating through the air like snowflakes in the wind.
Slow, desperate hands hoping to catch them.
Wading through sluggish thoughts,
languidly attempting to reach the light in the dark,
stuck on a reversed path.
Suspecting stares and accusing whispers seeping into the void.
Lost in a deadly oblivion, time passing without point;
trying to hang on to what is left of life.
Feet tripping, fingers slipping off the ledge
reaching for the sky, too slow.
Grabbing only air, the fate not seeming fair
Stuck in a slow motion f
                 a
                      l
                  l …
Gazes cast downward, eyes shadowed by unforeseen guilt
Afraid of what it may hold,
the truth is covered like the peeling wallpaper
in the now empty room.

Dear 'Diary,'
I've made it another day.
I smiled amd laughed as though I was fine. I said good morning, though I don't think its really good. I said hello to those who wave, because that's how I'm expected to behave. I show a smile and make my eyes say I'm happy, so nobody wonders if I'm really fine.

They don't know that I cry all alone. They don't know that my smile is just covering my pain. They don't know that I'm not really fine. They don't know.

But that is okay, its just another day. I'll do it again tomorrow, and then the next day. But maybe one time, my smile will be genuine, and I'll really be fine. And then I won't have to cry.