I believe that the universe
placed your atoms and molecules
near mine so that we could meet.
so that you could teach me how to love,
and what love even was in the first place.
and then once you did that, the universe
took you away again.
and I'm okay with that now.

I was alone in the dead of night,
my legs swinging over the side of my bed.
I longed for love,
the kind you write poems about.

blink

I was pushed down in the school corridor,
and some boy I had never seen before
helped me up.
I didn't learn his name until later that day
when I realised I had three classes with him.

blink

We held hands painfully tight,
scared that if a sliver of air
were to get in between us,
we'd crumble into the sea.

Scared that if anything interfered,
our love wouldn't be so special anymore.

Scared that if one of us stopped caring as much as the other,
there'd be no use in saying sorry,
because we're already done for;
we're already specks in the dust.

blink

You haven't been around for a while, and I'm scared you've found somebody new.
You wouldn't tell me if you did, would you?
You never did trust me.

blink

I was emailed last night.
You know what it was,
don't you?
An invitation to your wedding
on the other side of town.

I shook my head,
and pressed the Delete button,
just like you did
to us.

Let me undress your insecurities
Kiss all your fears away

do you remember what you said to me
before things became complicated
and before I realized
that I loved you.

do you remember our last conversation
that we had by ourselves
without our friends
and
without the tension of having to hide our feelings

do you remember our last hug
no one was watching
and we had both stayed that way
because we were both afraid to let go

do you remember that day
the first time
that you said I was beautiful
and that I should never think badly of myself

do you remember
the first poem that I sent to you
and
the first poem you had sent to me

do you remember
finding out that we loved
the same song
and
what you said to me when you saw me playing it

do you remember
telling me about your first love
and saying
that she could never compare to me

do you remember
when we were playing Truth or Dare
and you asked me
who was my first love


do you remember what you said to me
today
when we were leaving
and you gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek
and told me to love someone else

I still remember what you said to me before things got complicated,
I’ll never fall in love
I still remember our last conversation
You guys look so cute together
I still remember our last hug, it lasted forever and even though it’s gone
I swear I can still feel your arms around me
I remember when you told me I was beautiful
I said that was a lie, because I thought it was
I remember the first poem I sent you,
it was terrible but you said that you loved it
and
when I was playing your favorite song
you seemed to be in a daze and said
that it was a good song
Remember?
Remember telling me it was stupid; your first love
and that I was a thousand times more important to you
You told me you would hunt down and ****
my first love for giving up something so precious
I remember how I felt when you told me
to date someone else
It was as if somebody had blew out the faint candle inside my heart

do you remember
how it felt to be in love?

(h.l.)