Stacey Rouse: Poems

Stacey Rouse Dec 2012

I have no intention on breaking down, but if I do, will you be there?
Ready to catch me before I fall.
Willing to wipe away every tear.
I haven't broken down yet, but I'm about to.
I know you won't be here, to catch me.
You won't wipe away my tears.
You broke down, I ran miles just to see if you were alright.
You were perfect.
You were just being melodramatic.
I'm broken now. I've got the gun to my head.
Where are you?
My finger's on the trigger.
I just need to keep you in mind, as something positive.
You made this impossible.
If I pull the trigger, will you even care?
I'm gone now, thanks for being there.

I was wrong.

Stacey Rouse May 2013

I was wrong.

My soul is filled with pain.
My heart is covered in ache.
How could you do this to me?
From the moment I met you I thought I could trust you.
I was wrong.
I was stupid.
I was naive.
I'm always right about people.
I guess you put on a good show.
A show I could never get enough of.
A show I always wanted to see.
I felt truly happy when I was with you.
You could even see it in my eyes.
I never felt this way for anyone.
You destroyed me, and you don't care.
I'll name the new scar on my wrist after you.

Love, Pain, Self-Pity

Stacey Rouse Oct 2014

Love, Pain, Self-Pity

I accepted myself a long time ago.
Then you came into my life.
You never did anything to be stuck with me.
I know you're stuck, if you weren't..
You'd be with someone worthy.
Someone else, someone attractive.
Someone else, someone that can make you feel as great as you make me.
Someone else, someone that can appreciate having you.
Instead of wallowing in self-pity
Someone else, someone that can smile and be happy.
Someone else, someone that doesn't almost cry when they look in the mirror.
I know I'm not worthy,
because if I were I'd be happy.
You're perfect from every angle,
You're perfect for everything...
I'm nothing, and I'm worthless.
You're worth so much,
you are everything a girl could ever dream of having.
I can't help but wonder what flutters around in that beautiful mind.
I wish I could see... if you really loved me.
Or if this was some cruel joke.
I feel like leaving you would be the right thing to do,
but I'm too selfish to let you go.
My mind, my heart, and my conscience are in a constant battle.
What's right? What's wrong?
I thought I knew.
All I know now is that you are so right...
and I am so wrong.
You are the candy everyone wants and loves.
I am the vegetables rotting in the bottom shelf, hoping one day someone will love me like you.
Oh how wonderful that knife looks!
I can't, I shouldn't...
I don't want to be anymore of a disappointment than I already am.
I LOVE YOU!
I wish someone would have told me how much love truly hurt...
even at it's best.
I've read stories, heard songs, and listened to people say it hurts when it comes to an end.
No one warned me about the beginning being so painful.
and it truly is... me...

No title

Stacey Rouse Dec 2012

No title

The sadness is engulfing me
The walls are closing in on me
Sadness, hurt, and anger permeating the air around me
Choking me with their intensity until I'm on my knees
No sounds to be heard other than my cries
As the pain seeps into my veins bursting through my skin,
Tears of blood run all over me
I'm on an never-ending path
Just me alone, loneliness as my friend in this dark and
desolate place.
No light is ever seen, no happiness left.
All there is, is the dark path in front of me with walls that
close in on me.
And pain and sadness in the air engulfing my very being

No title

Stacey Rouse Dec 2012

No title

"Faster, faster!" she screamed as the blood leaked from her wrist.
She couldn't stand another moment, another second.
Everything she ever cared about, gone.
Everyone who ever cared about her, gone even faster.
She watches the blood leak, slowly.
She wishes it'll leave faster.
She falls to the floor, without a sound.
No one was there to care.
No will ever care.
For she is the worthless girl,
who will never be loved, or cared about.

Worthless me.

Stacey Rouse May 2013

Worthless me.

Will I ever be worth anything?
I know I'm not now,
but for some reason.
I thought that would change somehow.

Silent agony,
pain too much to bare.
Was I fooling myself?
Thinking I didn't care.

What am I worth now?
I'm not worth anything.
I've been told that by everybody.
I ***** up at everything

The question is,
who will I be?
Will I ever be worth anything,
if I am still me?

Who am I?
Some *******.
Stupid, worthless girl.
Maybe I should take a hint.

I sneak into my room,
and try not to scream.
Please don't interupt this,
please just let me bleed.

It will all be over soon,
and I can hear the quiet drip,
of my blood crashing to the floor,
my conciousness begins to slip.

Hopefully you will see,
and possibly begin to understand.
All the pain I went through.
No one was there to hold my hand.

I was better off alone,
and now forever will be.
There's nothing left but the body of the worthless girl.
Now the burden is set free

— The End —