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Between the pages of a leather bound novel, I keep pieces of my past. A flower from a first date, that has long since dried from being pressed between faded parchment . A picture of a first child, so small and frail, that has grown up to be a healthy and strong young adult. A bubblegum wrapper whose content was used to fix a broken heel on our wedding day. All special bits and pieces of a life well lived, between the pages of a quiet book, that I revisit from time to time as I look through my book of memories that is so much an intricate part of my life.
I think
I'm stupid
Ugly
Annoying
No one wants me here

But I'm too cowardly to do the deed
And leave this world forever

Yet you say
I'm beautiful
Sweet
Kind
And I should stay

And that it's cowardly to "run from my problems"
And leave this world forever


I think
It hurts too much
No one wants me
No one will help me
No one cares about me

But I'm too selfish to say goodbye
And leave this world forever

Yet you say
That the pain will pass
That you want me to stay
That you will help me up
That you care about me

And that it would hurt you if I "gave in"
And left this world forever

What I think
And you say,
Do not match

What my soul says
And my ears hear
Are very different

Someone must be lying
**And I think it might be you
 Sep 2015 Stacey Mills
sanch kay
of course* i want to die
i think of it every
second every minute every hour.


and now you've all begun to
ask questions,
whisper behind my back, she
looks dead;

has the lord of the underworld staked
his claim over
me *already?
is it my time to go? (please say yes).
I'm sorry for whatever I did
to make you not care
I'm sorry for whatever
made me disposable
I'm sorry for
everything I did wrong
I'm sorry
I wasn't good enough

I'm sorry
I'm a horrible person
I'm sorry for
failing you
I'm sorry for whatever
made them better than me
I'm sorry for whatever I did
and am apologizing for.
 Sep 2015 Stacey Mills
Megan H
Oh she had found the loveliest place
Where the sun shined
And the grass grew tall
People were friendly
She fit in well.
Oh she loved it
She loved it so.
But she couldn't connect
She made acquaintances
She never made friends
It didn't take long
For a place where
The sun shined
And the grass grew tall
Where people were friendly
Oh it didn't take long
It changed to a place
Where even the brightness of the moon
Couldn't brighten the shadows in her heart
Where the green grass grew
More than her happiness
Where all the friendly people
Couldn't even get her name.
Oh she couldn't care less
She couldn't care less.

But all the words she threw
To all the people she knew
Only got a reply one time
They might have well just said
*Goodbye
Now she's sitting in the shadows
Thinking about her sorrows
Oh how could this be,
Oh how could this be.
 Aug 2015 Stacey Mills
GaryFairy
If you were broken, and i had the parts to fix you
i would work on you both night and day
but, i'm afraid the parts that i use would mix you
and take the best parts of you away
 Aug 2015 Stacey Mills
Poetria
My heart is full of emptiness

My brain is full of mindless thoughts

My lungs are full of words and verses

And memories my past forgot.
// the memories that **** me
Help  me breathe. //
 Aug 2015 Stacey Mills
PrttyBrd
Your beautiful soul deserves
so much more
than my shadows
8815
10w
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