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 Oct 2021 basil
susurri
He asked her what it's like living with anxiety.

She smiled sadly, "It's a never-ending pulse-race. Like knowing you don't want to jump off a cliff but not being able to talk yourself down from it.

Your fears take on a nebulous, unidentifiable form that tightens around your throat and incapacitates you.

There is no calm. No peace. Only the edge of a very strained thread."
 Oct 2020 basil
Ariana
Abandoned
 Oct 2020 basil
Ariana
They say
parents are there for you
where were they
when I needed them
I was hurting
I was screaming for help
They didn't hear
I have become numb
To the pain
I have given up
 Oct 2020 basil
Chloe Haas
HEART
 Oct 2020 basil
Chloe Haas
cut me open and see my heart,
it is bruised deep inside,
the beats are fast,
but the blood flows slow.
there is someone down in there.
cutting my heart into pieces
as my happiness fades away
from everything, you took from me that day.
 Oct 2020 basil
Lieke
one day I will be oh-
so tall and with my gathered tears
i will build a water wall
nor paddle nor wind for I
will be flying
with a cast of all those with prisoner tongues marching behind me.
 Oct 2020 basil
Courtney
A girl lies naked, bruised and bleeding on the bathroom floor. She’ll say she was ***** but it’ll be her who’ll take the fall. The football team will still play that Friday night and she’ll be accused of telling hysterical lies.
“She was breaking the dress code” you were breaking the law, violation of the law gets you a court sentence but rich parents get you good lawyers who get you off free, she’ll never be free to walk the streets home alone fearing that every time she looks into a man’s eyes she will see the image of you as she prayed for help but was instead preyed on by the Prom King Predator.

Her bruises whether they be physical or not are hers to reveal and if you feel the need to go around telling her story then you’re an ***, “she had a sweet ***” you had sweet talk which made her feel safe and then suddenly she felt betrayed. So she’s a ***** if she sleeps with a guy even if it wasn’t consensual but when you sleep with a girl you’re a playa and did a good job on hitting that; you going to bang her? ***** her? Nail her?

The words used to describe it are almost as violent as the act done upon her.

There was pain in her voice but her body betrayed her, it portrayed pleasure when all she felt was agony. The pain in her voice was clear to those around her but the pleasure was all they focused on, the pleasure is what caused her the feeling of being ashamed for the next four years until she could open up to someone.

Around school she was known as the quiet girl, the girl without a story, this was true in a sense because her story like most was never told.
 May 2020 basil
kevin hamilton
thrice do the floorboards creak
beneath your feet, eldest first
and every step is a wound
vitriolic and repeating
i hear the tenebrous stair
spiral forth with the sound
of you leaving

and by the intervals of sleep
i will fall forever, hymnal-red
through the ceiling
as all our dreams fade faster
in the folds of my memory

thinking of those eyes
one last time
wrapped around me
 Apr 2020 basil
Crystal Peterson
.... Reset

Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Minute
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 10 Minutes
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Hour
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 5 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 12 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 16 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Day
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 5 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 6 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 2 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 3 Days

Reset

Time Since I've Cut Myself: 30 Seconds
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Minute
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 10 Minutes
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Hour
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 8 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 12 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Day
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 5 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 6 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 2 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 3 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 4 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 5 Days

Reset

Time Since I've Cut Myself: 30 Seconds
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Minute
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 10 Minutes
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Hour
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 5 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 12 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Day
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Days 17 Hours 13 Minutes

Reset

Time Since I've Cut Myself: 30 Seconds
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Minute
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 10 Minutes
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Hour
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 5 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 12 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Day
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 5 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 6 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 2 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 3 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 4 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 5 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 6 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month 1 Week
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month 2 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month 3 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month 4 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Months 3 Weeks 2 Days

Reset

Time Since I've Cut Myself: 30 Seconds
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Minute
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 10 Minutes
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Hour
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 5 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 12 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Day
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 5 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 6 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 2 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 3 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 4 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 5 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 6 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month 1 Week
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month 2 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month 3 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month 4 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 5 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 6 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 7 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 8 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 9 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 10 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 11 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 1 Month
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 2 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 3 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 4 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 5 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 6 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 7 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 8 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 9 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 10 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 11 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Years
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 and a Half Years
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Years
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 and a Half Years
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Years
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 and a Half Years
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Years 9 Months 16 Days 11 Hours

.... Reset

Time Since I've Cut Myself: 10 Minutes

You've done it a hundred times before
But just when you thought the day would come
When you'd lose track of time
You'd forget when it was
And you wouldn't have to count anymore
You thought you were free of it
You'd made it far enough
You thought you'd gone long enough
You thought it was over....

You fall right back to zero.
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