I believe destiny
is about the
final destin-ation.
  Fate is about the choices you make
  along the road
   to arrive there...

Upon removal of the camel from my eye, I see the shell of life released across the deserts sands.
A spark, a new light of existence is ignited, from the cradle to the grave
A renewal of the Worlds life, cultivated thru evolved states of honor, respect and love
From the new cradle World will spread with a light, spread cradle to cradle    
All form is eventually set free with the breaking of the bodies simple shell, with Life's release leaving nothing lost or left behind
Yet always others must remain in stewardship to the World re-creation, the call to duty that carries the highest form of honer to be had
And what of the first of the offspring delivered to this cradled place, where beginnings have not yet been written?
With these children come the creation of a new species, born in an unknown world just re-made, each being the only of its kind in existence
The combining of this original energy forms the perfect purpose, creating the path to the heart of this place of second chances.

Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is admit defeat, call uncle and walk away.

Ask yourself a question? What is at the root of every conflict?

Anger?
Go deeper.
Personal rights?
Deeper.
Ignorance?
Still deeper.
Correcting error?
Keep Going.
Ego?
Nope.

At the most fundamental level
every conflict comes
from the inability
to understand
the other person's perspective or position
and to respect their right
to think, feel and believe
as they choose
(instead we attempt
to negate
and eliminate
these things).

Everything else,
including that listed above,
all arise
from this root cause.

Now ask yourself this.
What would the world
be like
if this root cause
of conflict did not exist?

I walk thru
these empty hallways,
Looking for an exit
Or a doorway
to me,
Either will do.

But instead I find
Endless corridors
I wander thru perpetually blind,
No matter how
clearly I see.

Lost in a paper bag
open at both ends
I can't seem to find
My own way home.

Written 10/2020

I gave you my heart
My trust, my love
And you took it
And more.

You took it for granted
You took it for a given
You took it for a ride
And when it suited you,
You left it behind,
Thinking you could double back
And pick it up later.

This time when you came looking for it
It was too far gone.

"Everything can be taken from a man
but one thing.
The last of human freedoms
- To choose one's attitude
In any given set of circumstances,
To choose one's own way."

Victor Frankel

If we are to take
full responsibility
for all of our
choices
and actions
then that means
that the things
that we do
stand alone,
in and of
themselves.

It doesn't matter who did what
or
what was happening
around us,
in the moment.
When we are
truly responsible
and accountable,
we do not look
to others actions
or choices
as an excuse
to justify our own.

To accept
Personal
Responsibility
is to take
Accountability
for our own Choices,
first and foremost.

Don't expect
your neighbor
to pick his
dogs **** up
off your lawn
when you
are knee deep
in the horse
manure
you just dumped
in his front yard.

I've been and am occasionally lost
in a river of self deceit
death accompanying the flow.
my self-blindness and Ignorance leave real life far behind
that which I knew gone, in the blink of an eye.

Who i am, was and meant to be
all washed away from beneath me
in a land suddenly swept clean
Those things I've hidden are finally seen.

We walk and run and hide
oblivious to the truth we've locked inside
until it smacks us on our face
puts us soundly in our place
and then we look & see
our own self created grief & misery!

Will we be aware of that before us
or choose with eyes closed,
to continue the walk in the darkness?

In your life

There are Times
When you Create

and Times
When you
Allow for Creation...

Everyone thinks god is here to
Answer All Our Prayers
& Save Us.
No.
God is here to help us learn to stand on our own.  
Our prayers don’t go unanswered,
they get ‘Prioritized’.

It is in those moments
that we become strong
and find god is there
to do the heavy lifting
when we need it most.
I cannot think
of a single thing
done alone
that I was not
strong enough to bare
and I know the impossible things
that would be left undone had I been carrying
the weight on my own.

No prayer is ever left unanswered;
God will always be found
in those empty places
of space
which we ourselves
cannot fill.

Living in a state of unbalance,
cuz peace & rest don't serve.
Take away everything,
tackle & push me to my limits,
with my back against a wall
I will perform all my best miracles.

My saving grace is always found
while I'm walking thru the storm
Peace of mind is death,
Chaos and uncertainty create new waves.

Ask any physicist, Entropy Rules the Day.

Love is Contagious,
In-surmountable & Unstoppable.
There is no antibiotic,
no cure,
for Love.
It cannot be negotiated
or destroyed.
It Just Is.
A self-perpetuating, unending well-spring,
that when fed,
will break through every dam
and drown
all that stand before it
with it’s Never Ending,
Life Sustaining,
Saving Grace.

And to think for most of my life i’ve not believed in it’s existence - In This All Things are Possible!

When a thing is done
as a means to an end
Any meaning that thing
might have had,
Is ended.

Doing the right thing,
for the wrong reasons,
brings much worse calamity & destruction
Then doing a cataclismically wrong thing,
For all the right reasons.

When we do right,
with cruelty & ill intent
Lifetimes are spent
covering it up.
When we do wrong,
with pureness of heart
Lifetimes are given
to making it right.

The 1st is paid for with Blood,
The 2nd with Spirit
And both eventually come due.

The World we are living in today
Is that time...

The truth is,
as always,
hidden in his Silence
and in that which
he refuses to speak of...

Locked down in his mind,
Self imposed isolation
For all time.

He's running blind
Seeking Any, Every and Else Where
A Heart to match
His blank stare
He carries the void within...

and Burns Everything Else Behind.

if everything that is
has ever been
and ever
will be
already exists
In an all
encompassing
Quantum Field

Does that mean
It's all already occured
and everything
has already passed
Before it becomes
Our present?

is our
Present
simply
an already existing event
We are just arriving at?

No past or future
Before or after
Just all that is
Unfurled out before us
In every
direction...

The light in my eyes
Is but a reflection
Of the fire
in your soul.

Please
try not to burn me...

Pain is the spice of life.
It's how you know you are alive.
It's what makes happiness & pleasure feel so good.
It's the Yin to my Yang.
It's not to be avoided but embraced with grace.
It's a bittersweet agony that when savored,
flavors your soul and makes us more complete & whole.
It is what rounds us out, teaches us & gives us clarity.
Without our pain, there would be no truth or joy.

I feel that this very heavy weight of wisdom
and knowledge
has been laid upon my shoulders,
most of which
I can't share with anyone.

I try to carry it with Grace
and every day
I fight the feelings
of inadequacy
and the failure
of not living up to it.

I work so hard
to be my best self
and receiving respect
and kindness
from the people
closest to me
makes me feel like maybe I'm actually becoming
a better person.

Without it
there's really no reason
for me to even be here.

How will i bleed for you today
and in what way?
From which vein will my life's blood flow
as the page turns, always a new way.
How will you make me squirm?
Everyday i face, there you  stand
I'm seemingly lost with no escape plan.

Standing strong, my feet upon solid ground
echos of you sweep my steps from beneath me
and yet i know each pain inflicted
releases another injury.
My only freedom will be found
in this self allowed agony.

I always struggled with
and did not understand
Those Buddhist Monks
insistent call to detachment.

I longed to attain
their serene, unflappable,
gently smiling
afability.

I might as well have attempted
Mt. Everest's Summit.

Until one day
It came around the corner
and swallowed all my thoughts
& grasping need,
And finally, now
I'm beginning to see.

It's not apathy
or disconnectedness
or a lack of care.

It is release
It is peace
It is a still
quiet
open
empty clear space
Where I can finally
Breathe.

The view from Mt. Everest's Peak
can't compare
to this expansive Vista
that is now unfurled
before
within
& throughout me.

I slowed enough
for it to over take
& empty me
And now I understand
Those Beautiful Monks look
of Serene Glee...

This message goes out tonight to all the seekers in my life
(you know who you are)

All that beseeches you,
all that drives you,
all that you run from and towards
hold the answers you so desperately seek.

Have no more fear
but walk into the unknown
throw yourself out, over & into the abyss
and know that all you seek and need
lays at the bottom of the pit and at the top of the mountain.

Whether you choose to plummet the depths or scale the heights
you will find that which you seek, your salvation.
This is my promise to you and the truth that you hold within your heart!

Stay Awake At The Wheel and You'll Arrive In One Piece!

I Love All Of You With My Whole Heart!!

Mama T

In The Rest Of My Life
He Needs To Be
Nothing More Than
A Distant Memory...

8/12/19