Them again
Hooting and hollering
On the block
I can’t believe
I’m bothered by
Their confidence
It’s like they’re
Mocking me
Just for trying to exist
And they’re calling me a *****
Maybe I’m a *****

But I don’t like being in public
I don’t like being in public
Unless I’m making money
Or I’m spending money

I’m in the company of new folks
Or else folk if that’s appropriate

The singular and plural still perplex me

But approaching them is
Easier to do than I expected
Easier at least
Than trying to relate to the smiles
Fixed at regular intervals that
Span the distance between us

I pass them all by
Oh so happy to see them
With a nod for a greeting
Before seating myself
With the self-proclaimed degens
A few glasses of wine behind
But accepted and liked
Even seen by
Strangers whose faces
Show something that’s just as much mine
As it is beyond me

We’re all introduced
And decide we enjoy
One another - at least
With the alcohol, so

We migrate toward the only vent
That isn't in the only restroom
Of the venue of the thing
Eventually reciprocating contact information
Before drinking all together
At some other bar
Some place
We’re not so worried about
Sharing or hiding ourselves
And promising we’ll meet again soon
Fingers crossed

Chasing any dragon
Propels us forward
Ever forward
Stop?
We couldn’t handle it
Stop?
We’re gonna **** ourselves
Stop?
You keep away from
Any dragon I admire
I will chase that beauty
Indignant that you would rob me
Of anything beautiful
Even far off promises
I mostly imagined
Tell me that I am loved
I am good
Beautiful in my own right
But oblige me this chase
When so many others
Confuse and frustrate me
Pushing me to favor manual
Chemical replacement
When days (weeks/months) spent
Righting the balance
Is suddenly wayward
If I’m choosing the chemicals
No one catches dragons in the manual

I love that Jewish ****
I know it’s better than whatever ****
That you’ve been gettin’
It’s Israeli and it’s rarely being used *****?
Just look at you *****
You spent an hour in the shower
Feeling useless
Until you had the realization
That the water’s lubrication’s
Even worse than when you use spit

You know, I’m all about the Benjamins
But I’m chilling on the Abrahams

That’s a little too hasidic
For a person who’s obsessively
Collecting all the circumcised
Erections in this city

‘Cause he’s orthodox, get it?

my heart is unreliable
my temperament
suddenly unpredictable
I am sad
and angry
so lost and alone
in a recognizable
but unpitiable way
it is too universal
it can happen
if we all must suffer
the same
then we all have to cope
right?
and we can’t be the first ones
to hurt like we do
and we aren’t likely
to come up with something
completely new
at least we knew
some common knowledge
just common for us
or whatever, whichever us
is the right us for you
and if also for me
wonderful to hear

We haven’t conquered anything
And that’s okay
It’s frustrating demanding something
Other people don't exactly like
When you and them - or they
Enjoy what they can get
From all the work
You ought to
All be doing
But it seems you’re doing
On your own
They really have a handle on
What you can’t get your head around
But it still feels like
It’s just you that’s doing
What’s important

But what are you doing?

in the longest days of summer
the sun could be up ‘til ten o’clock
PM of course
the night begins then
the street lamps every block or two
when those come on
we’re expected home
that’s nighttime
so the sun’s going down around ten
that’s PM again
and it rises around five
AM if it matters
so there’s barely seven hours of dark
to call night and
that puts midnight
around one-thirty
AM, ya know
so while midnight is twelve
again AM, yeah
twelve AM
it’s not really midnight
well, it is
because midnight is accepted
to be twelve
AM, I know, but
I want to be clear
so if nighttime is
measured in darkness
at least where I am
and particularly
at this point in the year
twelve
AM again
just isn’t the median - how?
at least not of darkness
so midnight
the whole concept
just doesn’t make sense