the sun is up
and I hate it
return me to the deep blue
of about 5:00 AM
seven is bright enough
I see why some people
would work in this light
but it’s more light
too much light - the
sun in my eyes looking
into the same sky
that offered a universe
hours ago
it offers a bright blue
and light
that illuminates
what is before us, but
the universe is lost to us
daylight forces our perspective
suddenly bickering
and industry
waking dreams
populate our waking moments
and what is before us
takes precedence over
likely dead stars
too far off for you
to have known
far off friends
we lost so long ago
before the sun
usurped them
yes
far off friends
already dead
but somehow preferable
to whatever this
blinding light
and unbearable heat of
the day bothers to offer

Human and insect
Beware:
Unwarranted touch is
Not species specific
Do not
******* touch me
As some kind of surprise

Spiders in earshot
Arachnids might just as well
Be ******* insects
Your critter legs can
Creepy-crawl all over but
Don’t ******* touch me
Don’t fixate hundreds of eyes on
Me, *****, you don’t know who you’re ******* with

For you to take any piece of me
Feels like a loss
So your life for my toe is winning
But not

*******
Not a problem
**** wit
And you’re gone

You actively procrastinate
Most everything you do these days
You really can’t put this off
To live instead of
Dying - as the one ambition you achieve
Why -
Should this be the one project
You actually complete?
Ambition ought to carry us toward something
Sure -
We could carry ourselves toward death
But we say that as nothing
To aim to achieve to be nothing
Enticing
Of course - to bereave ourselves of ourselves
Once and for all
And forego the work
Though we chose it
And choose it again
Choose it again

We've got a long way to go to knowing one another
And after every second something has changed
Whether the people you cared for are who you’re still there for, or not
My faith in you comes from who you are with me

I’ll spend my time with you indefinitely
I want to go back through all the things
That I tell people I love
And when I share them with you
You might know me better
At least a little bit more than before
At least a little bit more than before

I’m not secure in how I say who I am so
Your judgment of my character’s important to me
We’ll watch some television made for children of our generation
Despite our dedication, we’re only as mature as our shows
I love you and these, so here you go
I love you and these, so here you go

I’m so enamored with your passion for living, it’s like I
Didn’t know what living was before you explained
But now I’ve got a couple hobbies
Thank you for the suggestion
You probably could take some credit
But you're not here to claim
Anything
Any part of who I am today

I get to say which part of you stays up inside of my head
I get to say which part of you stays up inside of my head
I get to say which part of you stays up inside of my head
And what I share with my friends

I’ll spend my time with you indefinitely
I want to go back through all the things
That I tell people I love
And when I share them with you
You might know me better
At least a little bit more than before
At least a little bit more than before

Heather has this bluebird
loves her so much
mostly since she’s always feeding her
not even sure the bird’s female
just what Heather thinks

after biking around Portland
seeing so many dead squirrels
and bluebirds
being eaten by crows mostly
and maggots

it is nice to see a bird
excited to be around people
that wants attention
that wants walnuts mostly
but squawks happily around us

happy as I am to see this bird
I can’t help but think of
the birds I’ve seen as roadkill

so as Heather scatters walnuts
I see it in the courtyard:
a dead bluebird
the bluebird has been picked open
its bones bare
maggots feasting on its carcass

from its body comes another
just the same
but living
it hops over to the walnuts
scattered in the courtyard
and squawks its appreciation

I love the arch that's in your toes
That tension in your metatarsals
Makes me want to jump your bones
Before we even make it home

After dancing in the dirt
Spending hours kicking dust clouds
You’ve got your shoes off in the van
You’re either filthy or you’re tan
I want to crack your little toes

I want to
crack crack crack crack gasp
In the back of the van
With Hannah Hammertoes
I want to give her release
I think I’ll start with her feet
I don't want there to be tension anymore

Your skin is melting onto mine
We're making puddles on the bench seat
You could have shifted to the side
Instead of pressing up against me

You look ahead and then behind
Not much to see but other cars now
I know there’s other people here
But will they really think it’s weird
If they can see me crack your toes?

I want to
crack crack crack crack gasp
In the back of the van
With Hannah Hammertoes
I want to give her release
I think I’ll start with her feet
I don't want there to be tension anymore

I pressed my head against your chest
To listen to the compression

                                           Papillary muscles
                                           Beating at irregular tempos

                                                         ­                  Papillary muscles
                                                         ­                  Beating at irregular tempos

I pressed my head against your chest
Your heart beat out a confession

                                           Keeping up with you is
                                           Both exciting and exhausting

                                                     ­                   Keeping up with you is
                                                              ­          Both exciting and exhausting

                                                     ­                                                              Hey!

                                           But I don’t want to
                                           Slow things down

                                                           ­                                     As if you could


Arrhythmia
When things just don’t line up

                                           Now the blood’s begun to rush
                                           But you’re unavailable

What’s coming next for us

   Can’t being friends                                                   Being friends can’t        

                                           Be enough

                                                         ­                                       Well it has to be