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rain sprung,
as bells clang,
leaves withered,
as my skin felt the chill,
from the winds that pass by a river.

as i contemplate through my thoughts,
my mind crumpled like paper that is tossed,
and raindrops started falling, bit by bit,
second by second,
'till a violent rain came and rushed in without any doubt.

life has been violent,
problems never stopped,
failures were inevitable,
and that perspective has been my rain.

the rain that does'nt really go away,
but a rain that stays,
forever never measured that time it'll be with me,
but that rain is such a wonderful medley,
without it i may not be visible,
change can also not be feasible.

but there will come a time,
a sunshine will bring light,
and as that happens,
the raindrops will be a reminder,
that the sun never left your side.
i wish you knew,
how fast the time flew,
the fate molds anew,
it hurts that my feelings grew.

i wish you knew,
that i already fell for you,
for i have known that you don't need to take the fault for this,
my heart jumped into a never ending abyss.

i wish you knew,
that i love you,
as if i can do everything just to be with you,
watching the stars and writing this beautiful fantasy.

it's just that i can't say this to you directly,
not because of rejection,
but losing you as my friend i will regret deeply.

it's too late tho,
you'll be away and nothing can i do,
but i'll be missing you
and last word if you are for me, i'll be waiting for you.
but for now, i love you.....
~
~
~ as one of my greatest friends and being a part of my life
to that cheerful girl that I love the most,
a friend that is always happy and full of jokes,
but all you can see is just a peak,
there is more when you continue the seek.

see, that girl with two faces,
one with a smile and one with a frown,
under those masks are tears of her realities,
the pain of rejection and judgements of this world,
she chose to be isolated,
fearing the rising oblivion around her.

see, her mind clouded by her deepest thoughts,
many she have fought,
to attain freedom against the circling storms,
and for her to assess her greatest confusions

see, deep down into her soul,
the resonating sounds of her cries and remorse,
waiting to explode ,
crawling into infinitive darkness,
every second counts as if it's not endless.

see, her heart being a prey to fools,
doing everything,
and breaking borders and rules,
but the saddest is after all of that,
her heart was left broken too,
no one to comfort,
for she's just hiding it's pain.

keep her, treasure her,
she's a person to keep with a side of wittiness to spare,
love her the way she loves the world,
show to her that she's important too,
make her the happiest person.

if you are like her,
thank you for being a part of this world,
people who sacrifice things for others to be satisfied,
i know how many times you cried,
but don't worry,
there will come a time that fate itself will bring you someone,
someone that will give the same importance as you did.
just for a person that i loved the most
as the sunset blooms so is my love for you,
limited, the time did flew,
across the cold breeze of midnight air,
that is not enough to see you clear.

the time ticks as if it strikes ten,
all of this will end,
nine-thirty strides and you walked to me,
you bowed then we danced in a romantic medley,
but after five minutes,
we seperate our paths but then after that i'm free in your grasps,
how thankful i am for that memory,
the memory of that midnight dance
the memory that i will treasure the most.
i don't know why,
i don't know that this could happen,
i did'nt try to cry,
but tears are just came rushing.

such an unevitable sadness,
destroyed the walls of happiness,
put me on a spell that started the madness,
the light that is slowly, consumed by darkness.
~~~ just a way i interpret myself losing me in a peculiar way maybe
sitting at a corner
being filled with anxieties
trying to put up borders
just to unsee the reality

it's not that I fear what is there for me
it's just that I fear what will be the outcome of me being there

i fear the unknown
the unknown that can also set me free
but only if i choose to undergo the pain it is with

i'm scared
i'm scared to take a step
guided by a rope that i, maybe can lose a grip
that after that i fall and wounds and scars are back again
unrecovered from the alleviating pain
scars that are made, that will forever stay

but after all it's just acceptance
having the confidence to put resistance on hand
maybe, just maybe, i will experience happiness
i will experience the fullness of life
and maybe after all, it could be worth it
it's just that it's inevitable that someone experience the pain of the unknown and that is what i fear
sometimes,
reminiscing about the different changes,
while being in front of other people's faces,
behind my mind I just want to die,
because no one even cared enough that's the reason why.
and for them it's just a simple display of cries

— The End —