"Contented" he said
"Contented" I repeated
we laughed under stars.
Four weeks since the end.
Four weeks since the beginning.
Heart's bitter aching.
I wonder where my mind has gone
out in the walks along the gravestones
sunken 6 feet deep
and pushing up daisies
I like to think (and I bet they are happy they don't)
that one day I'll meet the man of my dreams
and we will sit 6 feet underneath with
words saying "together since..."
I hope that I'm too picky for this,
or not picky enough
I like too many boys and non of them stick
because i'm afraid that no one could love me
for who I am and will stay.
So, i'll just hope that I can sink
and push up daisies for
all the other couples still living,
the great great great great great granddaughters and sons
to admire on their walks through nature's vast landscape.
And GOD I hope you're up there,
because this existential dilemma will bring me to my grave
and I just hope you'll meet me there
because you're the only one I would really need anyways.
Thinking I would run
all the thoughts of self
my shoulder's dropping
I feel your presence
serenity, you are life
and I am grateful
the moment on the top of Mount Shasta,
peering over the vast green landscape,
walking beside the Yuba river,
bubbling and overflowing in blue and green hues
underneath the willow tree in my back lawn,
it is reaching down to envelope me.
It is silence.
more than all the clatter of noiseless gongs trying to prove worth
It is goodness.
more than the righteousness we believe we have
It is oneness.
more united than the waters on the surface of this earth.
Many women tell me,
the most efficient ways to live this world.
The men, oh the men
they hide their faces,
thoughts hidden under their
faces smeared with years
of fun and no commitment.
What is it that you are saying?
I thought it only stopped the bump
life's bumps happen so unexpectedly...
I never thought I'd be here, aren't I the traveler?
the smart one? The go-getter- laughing usually
now distress clouds
my decision making...
if you or I knew what the pill does,
a little child with a heart beat, personality, physical characteristics
falling now instead of sleeping in a warm cocoon
waiting to be let out as you and I were. But death
happens to us all, yet should we let this happen
to our most innocent ones?
must our memories be a
reconstruction of the past and not
reality to show me that the past, in reality
was not as good as I reconstruct it to be.
Trappist monks singing s
Hymns and incense ascending g
to their very *h
This weekend I went to Vina, CA to visit the Trappist/Cistercian monks there. We were able to pray with them during their 7 times daily:
3:30 AM Vigils
6:30 AM Lauds, 6:50 AM Mass
9:05 AM Terce
12:15 PM Sext
1:55 PM None
5:45 PM Vespers
7:35 PM Compline
A very wonderful way to spend the Feast of the Body and Blood of Christ! I was able to read the whole New Testament except the Gospels, now on to those!
May God bless you and keep you, and may he let His face shine upon you, and give you peace ~Numbers 6:24
Little moments peeking
behind my facade of searching
amid trees I'm walking
to you I am talking
About long days I am living
these times are calling
to me, though I'm falling
farther from your embrace
do you miss my words?
those things which betray me
who I am though I am trying
to be me for myself and Him
I feel your guidance
though I am falling again
the tension i'm experiencing
is raking my soul
I watch her watching
nature in her perched loveliness
she knows no bounds
but only because she is without
a mind and understanding
rationality and thinking
are nothing to feeling
for it is by feeling I am alive,
though I don't live by feeling
I am one with Him and He with me
I am the bride of His choosing
but I am not worthy
because I am not working
"my output is my worth" I feel
society watching and weighing
me, through these thick blinds
comparing the next person to my
possessions are these possessions mine?
or do they and I belong
to this world I am living in
I am giving in, seeing in
him and her and all of society
a oneness in charity, if only a malady
of death sweeping over
a cooler portion of earth, her
sweeping dimensions encapsulating and
soaking the mind in
wonder, though I often do not see
the passing of time's painful passing I am
perceiving myself perceiving.
Time's painful passing,
longing for your sweet embrace.
You remain absent.
Moments of insight
are like thin clouds opening,
Sun bathing my mind.
Some are beautiful
some are smart, clever, refined..
but you I love most.
I was at the dance tonight,
our eyes met across the room
unknowing of my love for you.
You look past me into the crowd of people
you smile as you meet her eye
my heart sinks, that genuine smile
pulls at my bones.
The love we used to have you've forgotten,
I carry it in my caged soul [I carry it in my heart]
Burning, blazing, stars are falling
my universe is calling
for you, but you turn your head and
speak with your new lover.
If clouds could call
and mountains tall
would fall into the sea
my heart would see
I was no good for you at all.
your clear and good actions, white-
against hearts of spades
Feelings are fleeting
The highest ones die quickest
smiles die at dusk
Reflections from far Fog mingles with hill
the hill rises from the sea... lake rests in her deep crater
geometric form suns set and moons rise....
The unconscious deed
can creep up on the soul, so
*monitor the mind
tranquility loosens me
*I bask in your love
If I could kiss you,
I'd sink in the soil deep...
and grow up a rose
tangible only to him
his mind's universe
Touching your veiled face
you wincing, I persisting
*show me your whole self
Cows on the hillside
grazing and enjoying sun
a liesure observed
know not the peace of farmers'
All these half thought thoughts
My mind like the sun: the clouds,
*my uncharted sky
A beautiful day yesterday inspired this piece. When you put your hand over the horizon and see only the sun and clouds on the pale blue sky, one can truly be taken away into a daydream.
When lovers embrace
I can't help but take notice
this world's love and peace.
It's lovely to see how it's truly all worth it, for the purpose of loving another and being loved.
I called across sea
rolling depths swallowed my cry...
please return, my love.
I once fell asleep
Inside of your warm embrace
*Never to awake
The poor scientist
reads and researches the world
*missing the best part
Leisure is a gift
I thank you for this seventh day
since You asked, I'll rest
wings keeping her warm in rain
*she still turned to stone
After tending sheep,
He reads the worn Hymnal and
Dozes by the fire
A tribute to Gabriel Oak of Far from the Madding Crowd :) I love Thomas Hardy!
I see planets and stars
*Creation in motion
are often hidden under
a cloud of falsehood
He dozes, head back
no doubt, a long day at work
he find his escape
If you can hear me
If you can see me, sense me
Know that I love you
Those who went before
grief I feel, with their passing
now they rest in tombs
Yes, I saw the moon
She was intently gazing
at her lovely earth
I lean, head in hands
the chair creeks under my weight
listening to you.
Satan thinks himself a god.
Inspiration from Paradise Lost by John Milton.
Mimesis "To mirror"
Discussed this in my poetry class today; how art truly shows the condition of humanity, expressing the Truth of our existence and experiences on earth. The artist expresses Truth by reimagining the world, aiding the rest of us who are unable to articulate it.
That day you told me
you loved me eternally
I wept and tears fell
you, my oldest friend
yet, how I feel this chasm
I never once thought
you have carried love with you
since we were but kids.
Now I regret all
thoughts, behaviors, emotions,
which I poured on you
about other boys...
Oh, why did you not tell me!
this, your devotion!
There has been no other feeling
of letting go of previous fault
and reconciling with the person.
Working toward being honest with myself and others about whom I have offended, reaching out and asking for forgiveness. But before I even got to this moment (that I thought I would never arrive to), I first got into the habit of being reconciled with God. This is a very happy accomplishment.
a certain accumulation of
desires that have simply overcome
my small (ever ever small)
but i can't help but imagine
your defined body next to mine
mine lying next to your heart beat beat beat
hah hah hah hearts long lost
Could i sit here forever,
just to here that heart beat.
your heart beat.
desires have simply overcome.
and oh only christ can defend me,
how, how i desire for your lips on mine
your eye lash flutter
your distant thoughts bustle
your intelligence creeping
behind our curtains
don't act so repulsed
by my face in my moonlight,
if you had wished for a pristine certificate
you shouldv'e asked for an official v card
because you can unlace my blouse
if it's cold enough to display a
modern art form
and succumb to the scent of cashmere silk
against lavender dawns
outside our big class window
so i'll bite my tounge
because my desire for you is
stronger than a flame in the trail
the pressure to a point
the hello in a goodbye
lets pray for some good will
because i could get some duty done before God with you
oh, no no I'm not the desperate type.
just the type to take your suspenders off.
This is an oldie, but figured it would be fun to post!
take out the record
i wanna step to the beat
wrap you up in my arms and
list the things i just
love about you
Winter has come
what you have
in the summer.
Every leaf must fall, Annie
if it weren't for
the bittersweet goodbyes,
oh, if it weren't
for the bitterness of winter
Id be yours.
so beyond my grasp
guiding my soul
into the deepest
and life changing
parts of my entire life
and here I am
I can't even grasp
what it is that is taking me
I only know that it's taking me.
concepts beyond my understanding
and taking me somewhere beyond my existence.
I think I might be in love
again and I need to take one
big breath to get me through my
work is tough I wish I could just float off into space and
sail on the moon, watching her as she touches the soft and sweet clouds
stretching her arms out to kiss them like I wish I could
reach out to touch your neck and
kiss you between your ears
Have you ever noticed
that when the unrelenting season
of air as crisp as the taste of september apples
comes washing in like the crash of sea upon the dry sand
It is on a day such as this,
on a walk I see
the meandering pines
stretching their hands to the sky
No longer appearing like branches,
they certainly look like roots.
When the summer is gone.
Perhaps the world is all upside down.
As I am upside down
The Stoic represses his desire
The Addict takes his momentary pleasure for infinite.
But the Mystic,
he directs his desire to the eternal.
He is the one who dances in step
with the love song the Lord is playing for us all.
The whole question of sexuality has been framed as sin. And we have seemingly split into 3 groups accordingly. We must have the courage to feel desire, and direct it toward something more than us.