making pancakes tonight.
i know it’s not morning
but it kind of feels right.

i’m making pancakes tonight
do you want some
i know you want some
maybe if i smile i could
get some
you win some
and you lose some
as he always used to say
but the smell of pancakes
eyes melting like butter
you win some
and you lose some
but you can’t help but want some

i’m making pancakes tonight.
come over, it’s like old times
dry eyes
and syrups no way to start a fight.
i’ll cook
you clean
let’s enjoy some pancakes
no kitchen brights just butter
moonlight

cause they’re fluffy
they’re sweet
make you weak in the knees
they hit the spot just right
so come on.

my treat
like i said
i’ll cook
you clean
the griddle, the ladle,
like your eyes shine and gleam

just put it in the sink
time flies by
stomachs filled and riding a high
let it soak
cause we’re eating pancakes tonight

feast your eyes
cause it’s not so attractive to have eyes bigger than your stomach
the memory of breakfast
wanton, happy , an image redacted

you win some
and you lose some
and you can’t help but get some
pancakes? pancakes ?
i know you want some

Three Words

sometimes people ask me
are you even alive
and i say
wow that wasn’t kind
but i assure you
i’m living
i’m livid and i’ve lived a lit life

i’ve gotten my heart broken a few times
but what doesn’t **** you makes you
stronger right ?
i was wrong but i got smarter

cause if you break a bone it doesn’t grow back denser
if you break a toe
you won’t be able to clench it
but if you break a heart
it knows not to beat faster
next time

like that time you saw me on the street
holding hands
like we used to that week
i’m living
i’m livid
i’m living a life you once lived too
i’m sorry i’m not the bleach on your shoe
im sorry i’m not your ***** and your boo
but i’m living
what doesn’t **** you makes you smarter
what didn’t **** me made me faster
what didn’t **** me made me have a face of plaster

and maybe that’s why you ask? are you even alive
well i’ll tell you one more time
i don’t smile
but i also don’t cry
i won’t reconcile
and you won’t ask why

but i’m alive
you just want to see
where i am
where i’ll be
this hurts me too
it isn’t easy
but it’s what has to be done
i can’t hurt her too

what about me?
where was that mentality
when you held my heart
lock and key
i don’t really remember
my hearts made my memory a little bit rocky
but i’m still alive
so don’t get too cocky


i still care about you
tell that to the trial
tell that to my dad too

there are three words
i used to say to you
now there is one of us
but then there were two
there are three words
and they aren’t i love you

Lance

i wish it was different
i wish i said hi
i wish the last words that belonged to you weren’t goodbye

i wish i was that bullet
or a child in a swing
we could laugh and talk
broken rocks and senses of belonging

they gave you a poster
you didn’t give us a sign
and now the school
lives a ******* lie
cause people used that day
the sixteenth of may
looked past eyes
with only a sigh
at least you got to skip that math test right

now i say was
instead of is
i wish you were still here
that day im sad it’s his
they say he was
instead of is
but
that’s because
that’s just how it is now
we hope you wear
an angels crown
fixed your body
a frown upside down
is instead of was
he is so beautiful
he was so sad
he is so funny
he had problems with his dad
he was is instead of was
he is dead
but

some of us did cry
wanting to love and love and
couldn’t tell ourselves
why
you died
why did you die why didn’t you
just give it one more try

to donate anything you can
don’t bottle your emotions that’s not healthy
coping skills are important
that we realize it’s not our fault
tell a friend if you’re feeling sad
i know someone who couldn’t
tell a friend if you’re feeling
tell a friend if you’re
sad down
tell a friend if
he had just said that he wasn’t okay
hey are you gonna make it though the day
tell a friend
a bold faced lie
tell a
family member
don’t spend the day inside
tell someone if you think you should
tell
me
don’t be someone i knew who couldn’t

love me like you do
love me in that chain like you do
hearts pump in the sun
i’m out of breath you make me run
tell me about our great fun
and love me like you do

push me far
away from you
crawl back that’s what i do
it’s exhausting i know it takes a toll on you
on the two of us
between the two of us
make mistakes
make love and
make up and
fight lust

but that’s just between the two of us
did it hurt
to feel me rip away
caught between
fire and still soaked in rain

but it didn’t matter
my heart was yours
on a ******* dinner platter
love me like you do
well
what do you want me to do
i want you to tell me to
i want to make it up to you
but

i turned my back
i held my breath
all i can do
look back
and make a mess
but love me like you do

just put your arms around me
it’ll be us two

make me buckle up
i’ll pour your wine
and i’ll sober you up
but
you’ll make me turn around again
all our means
to something that never ends
you’ll do what you do
try and make amends
what do you want to do
we’re just friends
love me like you do
like what you used to do
i want to be the rain
and i want to be the sand
i want to
be forgiven
just love the word forgive
love me like you do
love me like you did

i'll keep your number saved
not that i didn't have it memorized already
you've got another date
afraid of angels and
maybe even fate
cause breaking hearts, i guess that's just what you hate

but how can i write this with my heart
you took a bite
spaghetti-string tank top that you ripped apart

i don't even like her
she's pretty
i don't love her
not everyone can be your lover
get overwhelmed at the grave you've dug of lust
mixed with love
and it's not that i don't love you
cause i do
i love love loved you
remember when you'd call
say "i love you"
the powerlines whispered "and i you"
the poles couldn't help but think
how it wasn't true
the sky turned blue
cried hail and our calls would fail
your signal is weak
i'll see you this weekend
what? i cant hear you
i'll see you this
way
i can play that game
walk away smothered in a different shame
this time knowing
a broken heart
a phone call apart--
and i'm the one to blame

i'll keep your number saved,
so i can keep a happy face
be a mirror
what you want to see-
it's clear
so i'll keep a happy face

i'll keep your number saved so
you can call me
don't call me
when your head hurts
when your phone beeps
don't call
me
if i ask
don't call me
if i beg
don't call me
if i leave a message at the tone,
i'm tired of playing telephone

if i hold your head in my hands
if i kiss your cheek
if i beat around the bush it's not cause i'm
weak
weaker than the weeks you spent
saying sorry
weaker than your knees when you see me
your darling
weaker than the battery that won't keep
******* starting
burst my bubble
it's been a hell of a pity party

don't call me sometime next week
you won't catch my eye next time we meet
it's a lot of upkeep
and it'll all fall down
if you call
when i'm out of town
you'll crumble
you'll mumble
california could've never been a home
don't call me
you'll only stumble back into the arms of the
dial tone.

*****

sweet sweet summertime
your body
it’s sublime
in that skin
something i could swim in
i could take a deep breath of your air
my looks could cut through your underwear
backseat so steamy
i could singe your own hair

something i could swim in
kiss your lips and
hold my breath
as i travel deep into the depths

sleep doesn’t help
only think of how
warm you felt

your skin across my skin
birds fleeing cold wind

and three ridges on your arms
i will keep you safe from harm
it’s okay i know you have things that make your blood freeze
but if your body finds itself open
i’d let you bleed all over me

blood of dinosaurs
ancient
and orange
only cause you’ve absorbed
my heart
when yours was torn

angels see nothing
in the midst of it all
one hundred eight degrees
that’s the price of 20/20 vision
but i was blind
so i couldn’t see what you upturned from the
outside
in
only feel your bones shifting in your
skin

when you close your mind
your fingers flutter
attempting meekly,
weakly,
cheaply to sink deep
temp sleep in your restless sheets

but as for me
i’ll watch carefully
in your arms or from afar
i’ll be your dreamcatcher
i’ll be your light house
i’ll be your toe fracture
let you run but not past
your guardian angel
i’ll cinch your sickle
around your fickle stature

cause that’s what friends are for
maybe we could have been more
but that’s for a future war
after all
i’m a *****
only for the suspension
ascension
contention that makes me bored

i have to *** now
i am in public transit
flip over that chair