Everything you love,
There will a time or a moment
When it is the last time you will embrace it,
By listening to it,
By playing it,
By watching it,
By saying, "I love you.",
By holding it,
Or by just loving it,
There will be one last time.

Everything you hate,
Will only torment you
One last time
Before it is gone forever.

Everything you have ever loved and will ever love
Will enter your life.
This moment is beautiful and confusing,
Fascinating and exciting,
Stimulating and challenging,
Unique and free.
Let the love be.

I love walking outside
And hearing noises
It’s like an antidote
For all of the poison

I inject myself with
By trying to be aware
And even though the poison hurt me,
I don’t care

I’d rather be aware
Than choose to be ignorant
It’s ok some people do,
But I’m not into it

So I internalize the evil
And sometimes, I feel I live it
But when I walk outside
I’m innocent and generally riveted

I close my eyes
My friends hands me a green stick
I pocket it, extract it,
And then I start eating it

Before I know what it is,
A minty green special K bar,
Somehow my friend knew
I ate these often at my landscaping job

We’re in a big house,
Modern, lots of glass
There’s an apparent social group present
I’m hoping that I pass

The unmentioned implicit
Group initiation
People make eye contact with me and speak,
What a riveting sensation

I try to stay patient,
Sometimes standing, sometimes sitting
All the while,
Dark paranoid thoughts beginning

The longer it goes on,
The more often we switch innings
And before I get accustomed
I’m in a dark room, internally grinning

Large. Semi-spherical
Dark. Gothic.
I walk towards the center,
No longer aware of my pockets.

My heart, I’m standing near
Another person I love, who shot it
And like I once knew,
I’m overcome by the feeling, haven’t lost it

And we start dancing,
In a classical sort of way
There’s so much joy in our embrace
But all around us, dismay

I try to let it sink since
It doesn’t happen every day
And I have a creeping feeling
That it all will float away

And once the music stops playing,
She comes closer to embrace
In a hug that’s too tight,
So suddenly, my heart is racing

And I love it and I hate it
And behind her back, I’m facing
And my paranoia is back
And my colorful world is graying

How long should I be staying?
I shouldn’t ever be here!
When she finally let’s me go,
In a cloud of smoke, I disappear

I’m back in the house,
I find my friend from before,
And wonder; how are you feeling dude?
Are you not also eager to slumber?

Before I her his response,
I ironically wake up,
Taken by another nightmare
Taken by more fake love.

Are these dreams?
Or just the occasional nightmare?
These recurring scenes I tease
Myself with love I don’t have; unfair.

Can’t see
Not clear
Music and thoughts,
I can’t hear

For example, I’m lost
And full of fear.
I’m unsure of the plan
Yet it is so near

The vortex twirls me
Around with ideas
All the while,
Possessing the key of

The “right thing”
It’s hard to find
Because I’m stuck
Spinning in time

Thoughts cycling
The endless grind
Of finding what I want
And making it mine

Neither task
Is simple, sometimes
So I spin with the vortex
And we just say that it’s fine

I really really love people I don’t know
When I feel tired and confused,
The feeling of love grows

Drugs make me high
People make me higher
People who’ve tried both
Might think that I’m a liar,

But it’s a definite conclusion
No additional pondering required
People soak me in water
And set my mind on fire

I stare inside an empty chest
Where used to, there be such a mess
Panic, fear, urgent anxiety
To certain varieties of these drugs
I make a toast to my sobriety

A right of passage,
Was my consumption.
What I chose to do
How I chose to function
My takings of nothing and making them something
Are nowhere to be found,
Except away from me, running

What’s gone is gone
What’s mine is mine
What’s outdated and failed
For it, there’s no time
No rhyme or reason
No proper season
No excuses
Now, we’re even

This heart shaped box
Was in disguise
Though it told truths,
Now they are lies.
Truth is subjective
It’s all about time.
Mine has now changed,
How sublime!

Full of love,
Not driven by it.
No reckless outpours,
I keep it quiet.
And in my mind,
Rather than a riot,
The fog is cleared.
I’m glad I tried it.