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Apr 22 · 432
distant
Silver Apr 22
dreams in sight
stagnate
why am i falling ? ,

every time i take a step i find
myself back in this room

white walled white washed
whites of my eyes,
half asleep in the
wake of what we could be doing.

daylight hours endless night.

stay apart if we
ever want to meet again.
stay safe wherever you are, stay put to protect yourself and others
Feb 21 · 448
apple of my eye
Silver Feb 21
touch
the most dangerous
of them all

fall apart at fingertip glance
skin peel under sunlight &
moonlight kiss
clouds caress scars
rain pours into

golden wells, blown to kingdom come
shattered your eyes.
forbidden fruit
Feb 12 · 1.2k
god
Silver Feb 12
god
how lonely it must be to
know,
and know alone
Oct 2019 · 114
blank
Silver Oct 2019
the little girl
took towel in
hand

scrubbed away tear drops
watered down

melted snowflakes

rubbed away until nothing was left.
Aug 2019 · 271
in this way
Silver Aug 2019
i hope that every evening, your
hands cradle a tired
face, that your legs find themselves warm and
tangled,

that you have the freedom to
kiss those hands,
palms, knuckles,

trace scars and forgive straying from the path,
rub shoulders and hold til it's all right.

to know
that it's okay to feel this way,
it isn't a sin to breathe this way,
it's okay to Be
in this way.



i pray that you can love yourself at night.
Aug 2019 · 217
i am night
Silver Aug 2019
day is coming and i am night, apocalypse, contained collapsing chaos candlelight. i am the shadows in the corners of your sleep paralysis plights and i am your hallucinations. i can't seem to find the root of it all. take me to the stars and leave me there so i can find some truth in the nothing. i am night, i am no one. i don't want to be afraid anymore and can you do that for me? i'll close my doors and crack open the windows and find the dust of my bones on the shards. take my hands and melt them into copper, bronze flower stems. cut my throat and pour the red clay into your palms and shape me a ***. place the flowers within and throw the whole mess out the window for me. maybe they'll be discovered by the darkness and the stars will come out in despair, delusion, delight. maybe one day we'll all disappear and no longer Be. maybe one day we'll figure out what it all means.
a ramble
Aug 2019 · 199
papercrane.
Silver Aug 2019
delicate folds into endless
creases, the wrinkles
in mother's hands. asking for
more, taking
& creating new faces
when you think the last of you is gone.

& though the world may
    tuck away your
    flaws &
    pleat you into
    origami stars,
take to the earth,
uproot the trees.

stand tall as your last in-
carnation,
become the called bluff
& bloom in the space
between   sky
                   &
              ground.

                     before you hit the earth,
                     become the bird that you
                     are & perch on
                     opportunity.
8/5/19

experimenting
Aug 2019 · 168
black hole
Silver Aug 2019
somehow, i find
that i would rather breathe at night
holding stone-still in a cell of silence
drifting off into the
murky black of
everything
between the stars.

and although it is cold,
and dark,
and i oftentimes find my pulsing soul
sinking dangerously in temperature,

i would much rather embrace
this world of empty
than lose myself in
everything i must face in the morning.
8/3/19
Jul 2019 · 491
safety lock
Silver Jul 2019
i am a lock

and i have spent so long
pretending
the key
wasn't in my hands

that i
can't find it anymore.
Jul 2019 · 213
constellations
Silver Jul 2019
i wish we were all just constellations

strung up in the dark with
silver strands we
imagine,
holding us together (in a frame of hope).


for every star you pluck out of the night,
an image forms

in the shape of who you want me to be.

(& i can be your Polaris,
lead you to the truth.)
Jul 2019 · 490
blue sounds
Silver Jul 2019
5 am blue reminds me
how to touch G on the piano.

there aren't many words i can think of to define it, really.

but i do know it's like crying. quiet tears welling and holding someone tight to your chest, imagining what it must be like
to feel something holding you together.

it is gentle, the way you would comfort a snowflake, the center of a child's eyes. the shy flower that unfolds like precious origami in the dark.

it is the silence, sound of breathing.

it is delicate, like trust and empathy and
understanding.


it is what i want to play for you.
there's really no way i can satisfyingly describe the sound and feeling and that makes me so upset. but one day i'll show it to someone over and over because i will have more than words for them
Jul 2019 · 488
old eyes
Silver Jul 2019
there's something magical about
a sunrise with no sun

watching the blinds go from
algae bloom blue to
the color of mustard
(gold.),

to see the colors pass as do
your bruises. (time.)

the healing consumes you,
burning you
whole.
pulling all-nighters in the summer has freedom (a lack of risks) and beauty (the first brushstrokes of light at 5:30 am).

to combat time with vision. watching bruises go by and seeing the beauty in their transition. yellows and blues.
Jun 2019 · 342
empty
Silver Jun 2019
loneliness is the worst kind of pain
because there is no one to hold you while it hurts
Jun 2019 · 192
I am
Silver Jun 2019
I am
the fading ghosts of fingerprints on cold windows,
the colors blooming ever so slowly in the sky at dawn,
the murmuring voices of family through walls of safety

I am
the sun that meets your waves at the horizon, no matter how far it seems,
the warm breeze wandering down from clouds to caress your arms,
the comfort of lost doodles and poetry in the quiet of night

But it all changes when I see the oceans that are your eyes,
and the warmth that is your soul, bared free for me to see
the hand holds and careful gazes that we share,
the knowledge of “together” and just being there

I feel beauty in ways that are impossible to describe.

But I can try,
try to put these feelings into words,
just for you
i wrote this last spring but i just dug it up from my black hole of a desktop

it's a bit different from the usual but i think that could be a good thing too
May 2019 · 243
shower
Silver May 2019
the steam of the shower holds your face
like a pillow.

pushing out the smog, clutter in your head
billowing around you and thawing out
the raw thoughts that you try to freeze over.

the endless patter of hot rain that
cleanses, but also
hurts
in that it's one of the only
honest sounds you'll ever hear
(outside of love.)

the moment you step out into the humid, mediated
atmosphere of a cooling room
the water dripping off your arms,
your hair,
your face,
making you anew.

but as everyone does, you wipe the mirror clear
to see your face, and know that despite life,
it's still you.

it changes you, yet proves your you-ness more than anything else.
Apr 2019 · 1.5k
gold
Silver Apr 2019
you're beautiful. beautiful
it's all i can see when i look at you
is this all you have to do?

i see the way you stop and smile
i don't think i've seen anything
quite like that in a while

it isn't just in the curls of your hair
or your eyes
but the colors that you wear,
the way your words shine

you're a sun, you are goldleaf
your presence gives me relief
from the parts of life that hurt me,
you're the one that fixes me
up

bring me up, up, up, up
i'm flying
on my wax wings
closer to you
and when they melt, i fall, falling right to
you,

you
are the golden ocean,
the sun on the waves, you set
me into motion

you're beautiful.
you're beautiful the way you are
your soul is the color of fireflies and
sunlit dew
it's why i have to write a golden song
for you.

your very blinks
send fireworks into the sky
you breathe in hurt, exhale
amber incense
this poem doesn't
even make sense,
anymore

but that's okay
because all things aside what i wanted to
say, was really i do hope you're having a
nice day.
maybe a series
Feb 2019 · 3.4k
blue skies
Silver Feb 2019
not a bird in earsight,
but the wind is quite insistent

as the leaves rustle and chatter in
conversation every instant

the sky is blue, the sun elsewhere
your eyes are dry, face bare.

the clouds are few but lazy as ever!
hope to stand and watch forever,

the perfect wind that flips your hair but it's
welcome as home, the
silence that fills your head with talk.

a beautiful day!
look at the small things and you will find happy hiding away
Feb 2019 · 173
feeling ill
Silver Feb 2019
feel the burning in your head
feel the burning in your lungs
feel the burning in the heart
and the hurt that makes you start

see the white on your arms
and the creases of your palms.

trace the lines of regret. the small sting of
control.
spite.

silent thunder.

everything is anger.
you are anger.
everything is fire.
but you are even worse. the silent dark.

feel the snake rise up in your stomach
to your chest. blood flows down
into the abyss, iron tang
and black shine.

it's always your fault, they say. the way you present,
the who that you embody,
the tone you project,
the everything.
the coarse words scraping around
in your lungs.
(they're actually screams.)

search for red, red but only
find black, black.

ink.

fade,

but not away.
i'm sick of thinking your wrong is right
Jan 2019 · 411
sleeptalk
Silver Jan 2019
eyelids are heavy like
weights dropping on your toes.
sleep and thoughts are formidable foes.
but meanwhile in the haze i can't feel my nose.
yeah.
i guess it goes and goes.
zzzzzzzzzz
Dec 2018 · 195
forgotten
Silver Dec 2018
forgotten
sometimes it's a place i'd like to be
alone and unafraid
floating through the inbetween.
silence is noise, but never alarm
a place where you can't give or receive harm
lose all your friends, but it isn't the end
someday you might see them again!
but for now this is better, to shield your soul
from what's through and done.
what's left is a hole.


(you don't know if this is for the best, but.
you really, really. really just want to rest.)
Nov 2018 · 183
what else would it be
Silver Nov 2018
it was never there.
you were wrong,
there was nothing.
it was always gray, gray.
and the blots of color you thought you saw were just
refractions of light.
gone and by.

the world is as still as stagnant water,
made of thoughts instead of mosquitoes and bacteria.
the thoughts itch in a way they could only dream.

it was always this way.
no surprise.
humor, maybe even.
why?
the most hilarious word you've ever heard.
because,
say the gray walls, gray floors, gray ceilings, gray doors.
because.
what are you even doing
Oct 2018 · 229
haircut
Silver Oct 2018
the scissor is on your
nape. think away the thought, please

.

.

.

water. there's a drop stroking over the rim that is your forehead. down, down. a

tear. slips down. a tear of

blood. down more. it edges toward your jaw, neck, throat, into a

vein. crawling, descending. throughout your self and your legs,

crisscrossing. spiderveins. open into

roots, white fading to spruce. your feet are gone and you are a

tree. millions more of you but look up to your leaves, flickering green to the sunlight like

a school of fish. silver in the surrounding black. a cold, encompassing, holding, embracing

ocean. you are the water once more. only this time you meet the sky, through a gate called

horizon. endless. infinite. edging, but it only follows you and you it.


are you one with the world? if not, be the world.

you are a world.
they make you sleepy, except for when the part at the back of your neck is getting cut down to less than an inch.

i thought of this while i was getting one and tried my best to write what i remembered after i got home
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