forget me
as I forget myself
when I know I've never felt
so lacking

so now

I'm just here laughing.
it's all one big *** joke
and this is all a dream.

surely we're all sleepwalking.

strange thing
I step outside my being
& walk around feeling fresh & dazey
certain I can't be sure of anything.

windy winding whining about wonderful

wonderful nothing.



strange thing I

absolutely love you.



don't look at me, *****,
you
make me sick.


I'm kidding.

& I'm
such a bore, & I'm so so
so very interesting

I just love happy endings.

earlyish
in the mourning
the moon
begins to rise
to the
dirtiest
consorting
in the room
between the thighs
forbidden fruit
from a filthy city
that ruins lives
so the troupe
snipped ribbons
ripped ties
flew the coupe
and found suit
elsewhere

Hell

thought it was provoking

when they
caught em
smoking loosies &
tagging in
elementary school
bathrooms &
peeping ****** movies for free
mercy me, a perturbing
flea ridden circus
ballyhoo at
high noon
just
look between
the alleyways
like pearly gates
adjacent to
& facing toward
the gallow stage
saved for traitors

& may I say

these are unhallowed days

triple x files.
furious grady stiles
walked the
daily eighty miles
to the liquor store for
his quick pick or maybe just
a curious
eye sore for bored out tricks
on the nearest corner &
the queerest gory ***** flicks for
a nickel a dime a quarter
&please;

- mind the camera -

hammer
sickle
sanskrit
star
prison bar
stripe

flock stickered on
the flickering light
mock bicker then its
quiet on the farm tonight
⁢ doesn't seem right  
the sicker sheep seek
sleepless nights
in the street
took Darwinian flight &
a diving leap
to diamond minds
thicker fleece &
meaner teeth
drinking on cheap forties
sneakin up on sweet
***** mother glory

lordy.

how do you know
what you know
isn't an illusion
or a hologram
or a ruse to them
& theirs
why I do declare,
*******.

I am ******* bored
with this

I've been here before,
but I've changed a bit.

I know my soul
must be ******* ancient
& has taken spaceships
to different places
you know, most
don't own the patience
for any explanation that ain't
ready-made, microwave
layman safe.

as for shakespeares
as for lennons,
maybe they'll get it
if they've mastered dissipation
if they're versed in manipulation
if they keep contained
indecipherable ranges of
insane visions
to which ignorance
is malignant,
if they're excitable &
strange & incandiferous.

if they have eyes in their brains
& are made of diamonds,
if they're kinda like,
sadomasochistic.

wait, you're gunna miss it.

when the inexpensive lynchmen
get bent up & purple faced
pinched pens & been up for days
cause they seen some ****
& ain't been quite the same since.

nevermind it, they lookin frigid.
this **** is ridiculous.

**** it, quiet
silent, silence,
sigh then.
keep calm
remain indifferent.

this **** is ridiculous.

listen, listen.

if you see me missing,
please report it to the police
******* themselves in the street,
cause it's easy, it's easy.
tell em I only speak in
secret spells & ******,
but I know
some swears in dreamy.

the sleepy cellular subject
is defective, so ...
so be it, the pest shall be deleted
lest it spread disease
& eat up all the fleece,
then we'll all be cleaned -
no, not really.

the fiends are still fiending
the fields are still weeping
paint is still peeling
off walls
who couldn't talk
but were still breathing.

the truth is still
spooky ****,
nightmare things
on inviting screens
& the teeth keep screaming.

maybe they're thinking.

about the end
... ?

blowing out someone's candle
doesn't make yours
burn any brighter.

black carbon paper lips  
peyote nothing to eat
lord made em sick
prayed to jesus in a backseat
after birth behemoth's armpit
the end.

the end
the end
the end is near

white flags folded in memoriam
klansmen's hoods
bartered goods for gunpowder
kinds who werent designed
for human eyes to see
cause see son
their light is blinding.

they sleep
when the sun is shining
lying in a field of drug flowers.
hugs for smokes & hot showers.

what's the headcount.

man I was done yesterday.

I'm sitting here suffocating
numb to the new world
attitude & outcome
smothered in
carnal crimson summer
not for money or love or
anything or anyone.

I'm just sitting here
burning under the moon
thinking about alpha omega
& who took it upon themselves
to leave out the in-betweens.

godless heathens.
screechy gospel
that goes on for days

straight trip no stops.

Today I'm bleeding caffeine
headaches; with a 'z.'
Because I am acquainted with
this language & I'll **** it if I feel like it.

Tearing my own guts out &
smearing the blood around &
stepping back to watch
the finished product writhe
to the sound of a tribal drum circle
makes me feel *****.


Like I could boil til my skin bubbles &
burns away & I would never be clean again.
It makes me feel alive.

Dingy. Like dumpster corpses.
Flickery fluorescent hallways.
Cradle the graveyard when the
panel lights off themselves
one by one. by one.
by one. buy one.
& everything else is free.

You get what you get,& it's dope
but you could do better, so....
You better take what you want now
or the world will mow you down.
& you better be quick about it
cause this ***** ain't slowing down &
gives no ***** about how you feel today.

so smile, okay?

It's dark.
Sounds like a rainstorm and smells like fragrant fire. But the earth underground is thirstier than what sulfur and dead things and various excrements can quench.
And the scent may be a brain tumor,
or even better some drug-induced hallucination;
either way it feels amazing.

I'd just love to slap these stupid feelings
in their pretty faces, I bet that'd also feel
pretty amazing.

a million oscillating fans and still so much heat.
divine metallic miasma .

Is there something pathological about how
I like to see the hurt & desperation & the shock that I cause? Cuz I've been told this type of behavior is 'odd.'

...I don't see it.

I mean,

I do feel remorse out of narcissism
& for my own wants & gains.

It's just a *****, ***** game.


Everyone plays one or the other.

My soul is starving.
to death to death to death.

Somebody
walk me to the store.

It's four in the morning
it's not as cold
as it should be.

I realized resistance
weighs you down &
you sink into "the ****;"
you don't need to be
the current or
go with the flow
just try floating
for survival so
you don't drown.

My head is flooded with
thoughts & doubts & worries
about nothing.
The eye of the storm
looks like yours which
looks like mine.

Like you could tell
we're dead inside

we're ever-expanding
supernova
egotistical suicide
exploding in the night
& fizzling to a spark
that's a spark because
they said it's a spark.
& everyone nods.

Live for awkward silence
or die alone complacent.

commonplace

dreams do not chase themselves,
you, or anyone else.
this realm is not that special.

you should know
I've never been so comfortable.
it's making me uneasy.

this kind of greed
is completely fine with me.

chaos. neat.

You are
a brass framed
feather bed
in the middle of
a dilapidated forest
white
waxen
cadaverous
arms and metacarpals
outstretched
screeching praise to
Father Fumigated Sky
a tie dyed atmosphere
embodying the ambiance
of some apocalyptic rose garden
bled gold, wine,
& liquid ecstasy
and leaked through chemical clouds
or the coagulated tears of
God...

my strange,
creaky comfort.

may we

watch it all
crash down
in peace.

Now let us pray.
May hellfire rain down
on us today, on all those who
offered pay in
full metal change to watch
the life sized lights explode
& wicked witches
hanging by the throat
from a tenth floor window
it was all so cool.

so cool.

demon induced
dementia cemented in
an underground parking garage

sleepover
sleepless

starry eyed orphan
**** princess-
apparel section
regressing to an
oral fixation & a
need to keep the
fingers busy.

pink **** carpet
heart shaped atrocity

rotten thing.

you ain't the boss of me

paleface
scarab angel
seraph snake
made up cheap

heart tarnished
purely
black comedy
legs like a limousine
keeping company with
the holy cross
dressers on the
local drug scene.

oh how special.

yesterday
I fed my
edificial fetish
& I could not
stop thinking.

these high
arched ceilings.
could not contain
my feelings,
if they tried.


drive by advertisements
remind me there's
not much
to be excited about.

Now let us pray.
May hellfire rain down
on us today, on all those who
offered pay in
full metal change to watch
the life sized lights explode
& wicked witches
hanging by the throat
from a tenth floor window
it was all so cool.

so cool.

demon induced
dementia cemented in
an underground parking garage

sleepover
sleepless

starry eyed orphan
**** princess-
apparel section
regressing to an
oral fixation & a
need to keep the
fingers busy.

pink **** carpet
heart shaped atrocity

rotten thing.

you ain't the boss of me

paleface
scarab angel
seraph snake
made up cheap

heart tarnished
purely
black comedy
legs like a limousine
keeping company with
the holy cross
dressers on the
local drug scene.

oh how special.

yesterday
I fed my
edificial fetish
& I could not
stop thinking.

these high
arched ceilings.
could not contain
my feelings,
if they tried.


drive by advertisements
remind me there's
not much
to be excited about.

I am aggravated ether
in the moment
so I can't sleep on it
enigma dramatic
bathed in acid & oil

& all the clouds in the sky
are mostly smoke
blown in consoling faces
dole full in the wasteland.

dam & sire fanning the fire
in the furnace
lighted up for days.
they didn't know it could
turn around & burn us.

oh but,
I'm not learned enough.

all the **** while I'm
taking it all in.

three sixty, panorama.

light a ******* candle
& put me up on the mantle
when the mainframe scrambles
&don;'t let me down til
they've figured out time travel.

I won't have any of this.

still in my soul I am savagery.
& these bad *** habits
are all tragedies
considering the fact
that I can make magic
if I see it fitting
to the situation.

which doesn't clique
with certain niches,
they get kinda ******
...they shouldn't.
it's all ******* anyway.


sun slivers.


new day.

miles away.

well I was plagued
and pale and panicky,
ripped up torn pages of a
glamor **** magazine,
coco lips pressed to
the cool floor
beneath the hoard

- lovely.

lowly lows loathing
show boats & warships.
flicked a spittle
writer ribbon atop
white middle fingertips
& said,

'praise the passive lord, pretty.'
'yes of course, of course.'                                  
'you are forever, ever golden.'

(oh & then some.)

such a fearless feeling
breathing like new
free fare blaring lights thru
iron clad glass and
such as life, the knifey night
comes to pass, short & sweet;
shock treatment, therapy.

shot right thru me.

weak need.
stripped bare and bored
I stare and mourn
& I laugh.

bliss
wrapped in magic,
you poor perfect *******.


I would just
hate
to be you right now.

sometimes I think
there might not be a tomorrow
so my time can't be wasted in any established institution.

whoops, there I go, wasting.  
whoops, there goes the future.

band together,weird brothers.

a half assed attempt from one of us equates to a hundred ten percent from one of the others.
but what difference would it make?
there's like, a hundred million of them &
only one of me.

we're already snuffed out by the numbers.

so we throw ourselves off track; it's some what hypocritical - but hey -
at least we're following our hearts
or whatever *****
we think is the most vital.

simple existence is the biggest shame.
for the love of god.
you'll rot if you stay for the spindle,
drilling yer spiel & teething on the tiers, stagnating in the famous cesspools of shalott.
settle in, ferment to liquidity.

Imma just watch yall
waiting for the day
your stocking feet curl up &
die beneath the mortgage,
leaving the zirconia slippers
of a dream seeing red.

be clean
be neat
be nice
be right
be alive
& smile
but not too much.

that's the tell to tell em
something's up,
the specimen are not disrupted
or adapting to challenge
of being ******
with these conditions.
they appear to be happy.


too happy.


something's missing.

strait crazy

saintly mania raving.

new age jainist phasers
sang they praises
like
'hey mr bojangles,
go mangle up the angle,
shake shake shake the frame
& they'll thank you later.'

...sorry not today.

I'm feeling under the
earthquake weather.
wallowing wonder
following the devil
thru the desert
on great endeavors
to make it rain feathers
that sound like thunder.

famous as ever
nameless as heaven

to say the least
I'm slaying beasts that
came from me
in the first place.
this is lovehate.
lovehate lovehate.
& it's useless.

just lemme set the mood.

it's stupid
brutish beauty
mooing truly bluesy
marks & bruises
infused with martian
harmony incarnate,
caramelized carnage
set to soothing violent music.

broke record store cliché
faded to frustration feeding
a creaturely need for creation
& hellish lust for selfdestruction.

-nothing special-
just an absolute mess who
dilute the stress through allusion
allegory alliteration
hallucination delusion

***** it's a celebration.

tell the rest those losers
that got left I'm doing my best
even though I'm pretty upset
with how it's all panning out.

oh well I guess.

those filthy parts of you
you keep out
of public veiw
I feel just the way you do
about the
heartless wreck I am &
all this **** I'm going through.

ashamed at my amazement.

taming is the same as breaking.
it's risky
but worth the taking.

don't you see
all the crazy?
scribbled on my face
& this time the blame
is not a brain
blotted dodgy with
synthetic smile makers.

genetically mutated

color crayon child
molded by mistakes
gold eyed & awakened
unafraid, but folding,
otherwise
okay.

you & I
sure are something.

wild.

& its fine with me.
I like wild things.

violating the
virulent miscreant
blind with
narcissistic
misanthropy
tiring game

sick twisted

lovely terrific

I'll give it a home
& call it all my own.

tides of change
tied to chance
the water's choppy.
the roads is rocky.
every last candy ***
happy avenue.
it wont stop me.
will it stop you?

black angora
silver umbilical cord
fast flippant forward
man
it's ******* freezing!
I can't feel anything!

I hold tepid a fond memory

at sun-up
when we finally sleep
we can share this tedium
& not feel as boring.

we'll speak in the morning.

spit fire
swallowed swords
perspire six
bullets shot
arrows at the hoarde
cherub cut the cord
to this cloud nine
contorted to coincide
with the cliche story we
created in our minds
it's only
dragging us behind
the rest of the star dust
and eruptions in the sky
still I can't deny that you & I
seem to be aligned
& perfectly alive
but blinded
by this
blissful chemical
connection blurring boundaries,
any and all direction
I had built up to believe in
I don't see it
anymore.  

well don't you believe in ghosts?
I've heard that you can't see those
but they still make the most
of their state watching us
throw ours away
for rage and payback,
for show.

now you didn't
hear me say that,
it's just a theory
not a proven fact,
but boy,
do those theories hold fast.
alas I am ****** & sanguine,
a paper-hearted substance
& foam lip logic but
you may call me nonsense.

don't ask if
I know when
I'm gunna stop,
cause I'm not.
nope, I'm not.

ABSOLUT 0!

the greedy trees
liked to bleed the green
to spite the leaves.
they seem to be
pretty pleased by
believing in a
definitive middle.
  
then **** soon
flew off the richter
cause it wasn't so simple,

1 to 3 easy.
          
when the police
beeped the gentry,
oil already leaked
on the scene
even though
hunting season
was ending.

&seeding; season
pleaded for
beginning
& forgiveness
for bearing false witness
to a new system called
self sufficience.


take one leave one
break one mean one
make one be one



of what.

my intention is
to create this
uncomfortably wonderful
unsterilized environment
get high off the light
of seventy small fires
fall in love with the kind
that could **** for hire
get a job buy ****
keep it quiet then expire
nil in its entirety
fluid in its movement.

this is textual ambiguity
the rest is inaffectual
doses of good old
uhmerican ingenuity
like conceptual moses
roaming thru the
******* desert for
forty years

leave him alone
he doin his thang.

he's tryna find his consciousness
truant from the ensuing madness
nothing here is as it seems still
I promise you there
ain't **** to fear.

the people want
consumable truth
available for daily use;
they like being choked
& smoking the cracks
in the broken mirrors
also know as home.

a single empty room
& it doubles as a tomb.

how queer.

angry jagged animal teeth
the underbite of earth's crust
harboring harmful chemicals &
illegal immigrants
rising
at this first ray,
a ****'s hair of celestial inferno
one could say
constantly calling
on this
splay legged abomination
meeting & greeting
every need & accomadation
of greater grazers
they set them selves ablaze
for pity wage
& trade peanuts for raisins.

holy hell.

the nature of things;
of which way's witch ways
is a
falling
flipping
flying state
of ***** nirvana.

this is common phenomena.
I could cry. hysterically.

black helicopters
polka dotted the
blinding white
pilot light
that was the sky
littered with little
particulates of sickness.

I want nothing more
but to run to this jesus light
rewind to the darkness
in the daynight
& bottle those clouds,
consume & be alive.

but why.

I run to nothing
& nowhere
cause that's only
place it's all alright.
let it slide past
mindfulness

by the time anyone finds out

another evening beseeches quiet
& we'll abide
to avoid running for our lives

hey, I'm
seeing spiders &
shadows & lights again &
there comes a point
in your life when
you realize
it's all this forced speech
about how
the weather is fine &
no one has died
that shouldn't have.

it's like sitting
in an unfamiliar bathtub
til the water goes cold,
knowingly just floating
in frosty clouds of your own filth,
that sick type of epiphany
that we're all just sad little
feeder fishes painted gold
that live to eat **** **** float
get old go blind become senile
then hopefully die
before anything too terrible happens.
happy ends.

unlikely.

high noon &
the horse flies are biting,
for the life of me.
if you find yourself dead
or alive.
they'll pay you for perfect timing.

so smile sunshine
the drain hasn't
swallowed you yet.

no problem no sweat.

call the cops.
they cooking rocks
in a shanty town compound
its just how they get down
most denounceable settlement
heroine needles nettle men
shredded by early elements
surely only pure irrelevents
no evidence of life
that reflected
anything intelligent
they were like
hell with it;
preferred not
to confer the
elephant in the parlor
though of pachyderm stature
he still delicate & he starvin.

attention ya'll.
there's histrionic
insect larva writhing
inside dying bodies
of constants.
wanting nothing but to be alive
to watch the sky ***** lights
contrite with wasting time & space
decided to face what made the comets
atum & adam & atoms.
dizzy sassed her,
kiss me ***
slapper
pass the days faster
calmly
this was a disaster
it sounds so wrong
but
how else
do you say it.

it seems
there is no
safe explaination
that demons &
godless heathens
still hold faith in unseen reason
aurical feelings
bottomless meanings &
improbable teachings
exploring the being
& being anything
more than whimsy

humorously ludicrous.

the lunar rock flickering
& all that
co$mic glitter
pulsating
almost saying
I should return to the
wretched place
whence I came.

phoning home.

captivated
the moon's only reflecting
radiation from the sun
& some of those ancients
thought that ball of gaseous hell
was god himself.

I am now these clouds
of heaven chemicals &
other toxic emissions &
I am in awe of all of this.

there was an epic in the sky
& unfortunately I am limitied by
a lack of understanding of the
technical jargon.
the sad fact is to me
real ideology is not possible
& nothing but impractical knowledge.

.... and I don't follow.

I'm afraid

I don't follow

Man...
I should not even be speaking to you. You don't got that broken look, & your edges aren't sharp enough.
That exoskeleton never saw the light of day, it laid down and died before ever being concieved. Boy, you ain't no mystery. It kind of breaks my ****** heart though, yknow?
No, ydon't though.
I mean, yknow how it feels to bleed out all your aura, feeding it to, **** I don't even know, the unknown. Dark energy. The infinite divine, the great conundrum.
Givin it to god? Wherever you find him or her or whoever. Whatever.
I guess it doesn't really matter as long as you're happy.

In the dust clouds of the destruction the bedlam be loud & disgusting & lovely & you may find solace if you so choose. That ***** is  hiding specifically there, you just gotta look. But it WILL be exhausting & exasperating & emotionally draining.
All the ice'll melt before it bubbles & becomes vapor & you won't believe it, all cause you can't see it but that's ******* stupid.
They say people don't like to be called stupid.  Yet the sad reality is a lot of them are, or at least they just got a lot of really stupid tendencies & would rather not address those kinds of things. But see... man, I don't think anything's sacred anymore.
So simply. **** it, go with the flow, just...float.

Oh I wish.
I could take myself serious, so others might take me serious but I end up sounding crazy either way. I think we're all losing interest here. & I'm gettin real sick of tryna make sense of myself, to myself, to & of everybody else.
So if anyone needs me you know where to find me. I'll just be kickin it in the middle of "the ****" like. This is my normal.

'Body Parts in Backfields Buried by the Mexican Drug Cartel'

I am
a hundred-
billionth
of a bigger picture,
a single piece
necessary to complete
the puzzle,
my only trouble
is I got lost &
ended up locked
in the wrong box,
nauseous, distraught
by lots of toxins
perhaps
as some
plague or pox,
a caustic
act of an
obnoxious god
that I should be taught
some kind of lesson
for expressing
some interest in
an interesting thought
brought up
from the
bottom of the bottom

- bottoms up -

to Shambala,
to Shangri-la
run, young one,
run,
faster & farther
and you can disregard
the ******* bars &
marginal martyrs
made to crack and detract
fallen stars like us
from returning to the sun.
speaking in secret
snake tongues,
worthy enough
and deserving of
all the worldly love
that money can buy;
& it
crossed the heart,
but it opened the eye.
lost from the start
now we only hope to die.

well, you can admit
it's a terrific lie

the motherships are
hovering overhead
& to the east,
apollo breathes fire
past the ******* incisors, like
'try &
catch me now'

now,
or never.

to my west I felt nothing
but the most
uncomfortable comfort.
it's just.
too.
much.

becoming barefooted
clouds of dust I run
to the godlight
& in time I find I
also become
disenchanted.

& I'm just freeezing
& my feet are filthy & bleeding
but
anything for that rush

tell me somethin brother
do ya cluster with the others?
are you some
undiscovered color
in the monochrome gutter?

are you sixsixsix seven
aren't you *** & heaven

dost thou seek
the foul
or the feather'ds;
brother of blood
& sweat,
is thou the sheep
or the shepherd?

wolfman.
we want the teeth.
to the tooth, troopers.

how rude;
I can see right thru
that wool suit
all too true to the stupor,
stupid.

don't you know I know you,
don't you.

The sun bled infection

Mother Nature wept at all this mess.
they was all runts made of litter
& was done away with each other
before they seent they was
one with each other &
it bothered Father Time so
he shot Big Brother &
Little Sister down with his nine
& god daughter blind saw
the whole slaughter but
thought the whole thing was
pretty much black and white.

Do away with em all, Charlotte.
doused in scarlet charlatan-
lifted inhibition
her golden hearted
harlot trickery
speaks of defeat in victories;
he lived in his liquor
to prevent from feelin
too sick with himself

same reason
he sticks himself with needles
treating diseases
no one but them can see &
feeding to the need of the queen
to keep the screams quiet for the night
& keep the hive alive alright
& thriving vibrant
lest the fiends get violent
& riot inside their minds.

then there's a problem.

but problems is made for solvin.

zoom out, island of lost babies
where they got Wilbur's head on a stake
speaking zen
the monster live within &
we're just seeing in others
a reflection of ourselves.

breathe in, buddha.
burn slow.
move steady or
lose your head.

Atlas shrugged &
shook the brains  
outta Tuesday's baby
about noon
on a Kathmandu doomsday.
the Berkley Tribe,
all the like & kindly rivals
was all in an uprising
over the missing peace
& meanwhile
The Big Evil cavorted on
in the east
of everywhere.

and the They was distorting real reality
to tickle their own fancy
& pawn overpriced romance
novels off on the populace.

nevermind the **** ***
boiling over on the stove top.

foiled again in clover feilds
& the poison only yields
it never stops completely

**** for pysche
forcefield shield
of freedumb fighter
white knight
izard-*******
grand wizards

winner gets the glittery
7 minutes in heaven
with the blister queen
licking scissors
shiva shiver
ego wither &
sizzle in a cigarette flicker
**** a filter
my lungs aren't black enough                                                         
& this isn't the end

filthy tongued
french kiss misery.
    
he's that crass.
& he wants to be a *******, so
Charlie did himself in the chapel&
got laughs when the rats
came to have at the maggots
in his skin
he called em both his children
& loved em unconditionally.

Only figured
he address the issue
by ******* bout
the situation that faced
him & all of us
instead of
setting things in they place.

*have grace

this single wave
of multi generation
slave labor toward
the greater good was
greatly misunderstood
I mean I'd try if I could

but man,
do these things
elude me,
no faking

but don't
double dog
dare mistake it
for stupid or rude
I'm just
not used to rules
I'd say it was
a pretty valid excuse
to explain my
current state of useless

union with losers
staring at
kama sutra cannon
full metal suit jacket
in they futures

induced by
***-drug
rockin
rollercoaster
youth in pale
**** nirvana
in full bloom
diamond binded
to the to the the tooth
the mine in
the mind went kaboom

subterra sauna
flora fauna
satanic cartoons
doom drama
dream
comic tragedy

I lose track & forget whats happening.

how does it go

if the fire power
by chance explodes
underground
do the fire ants
on the surface
hear the sound

I'm just curious.

I wasn't sure if it
was right but like
I don't really care.

But to be fair I've been
encountering
ground shaking
earthquakes
& would like to make
sure all's okay
down there
beneath the plates.

leaving
home alone
cheap
*****
liquor
dope sick but
I'm sicker than what
star stickers could fix

it's made me
a motley collage
of a hodge podge
apogee sentenced to be
hanged from the ceiling
or on the wall in a
cheaper motel hallway.

this is in no way an apology.

what the **** are we doing here?

getting stupid numb
playin dumb &
faking it, making noise
to fill a synchronized void
it's feeding itself,
it's eating itself

photosynthetic autophagy

lovely little lamb
lost cause long shot
breaking the bottles
for succumbing to
their own poison

but smashing the glass
don't quiet the voices,
it just makes them laugh.

peace love
*** drugs
bubblegum baby in
a neon pink bikini

a tragic act.

houdini chasing
rabbits & red dragons
to wonderland
under the tophat
he huffs his magic
from a plastic bag

- escape artistry.

carved from bone
covered in leaves
drinking veins.

darkhearted
hollow-eyed & starving
***** & sparkly
snarky harpy barking
senseless malarky.
she's pretty garbage.

beautiful.

just plain
*******
beautiful.

immensely immersed in
pensive verses
that don't make sense.
pencil thin & shrinking.
thinking about the end
before the **** begins
is just...
ignorant.

hi.
I'm comin to
all yall still alive
from down in the
diamond mines &
I'm having a helluvatime
winding around the spine
& biting through the wires.

I am not of your kind.

I am gypsy science.
I am high minded & iron sided
& I like fire & liars
& violence & thieves        
I find them quite inticing
since there was no one to supervise or guide me but thats fine with me
but it is tiring spiraling between
subterranean lows
& olympian peaks.

I seen beneath my eyelids
I was a black silhouette
of an entity outlined in
platinum aura eclipse
and the visions fell
far & fell hard
from a teardrop chandelier
hanging from the ceiling
in my skull &
shattered
the crude
jewel encrusted
crescent floor

then thunder roared
in the distance &
erupted the crown,
unleashing a copious
explosion of white
gold light
& my skeleton
sheds the snakeskin
& escapes
thru the hole in my head;

just crawls right out,

bubbles up & becomes
a pink heart shaped balloon
& it floats

up. out. away.

creeps thru one of
the holes in the ozone,
straight into the sun
& burns up.

star burst.

&  that's soul.

starch-pressed
into a straight edge
folded creased to a t
razor dredge
shave the head
& ink i.d. unto each
before they're bleached
in chemical showers &
laid down to sleep
in flower beds.

slay the secret
in the doctrine,
the seeds screaming
beneath the garden's
feet, the bleak faces
taking countless paces to
the mass grave market
they made earlier today.

yeah, but all
at what cost?

attention
there's tension.

earlier today man,
lives were lost.
earlier today
lines were ******* crossed,
so we've become inverted.
we were ***** & thirsty
pero hay no agua,
so we drank the hot
rotted water
then we
marched ourselves to
slaughter,
all like:

'we don't need
no re-education.'

just give me
a month & a few days
and I'll be
running this slave ship
like a major corporation.

till then
y'all can just be patient
keep sitting &
waiting
to see
the end
meet the means,
cuss justice,
cuz we can,
**** IT.
punch in
to the expansion tactic
mcmansion dream factory

& if you ask me,
fancy don't
match free.

that **** is ugly

& lacks, passion
character
integrity.

just let em be.

bland.







...I'm yall's biggest fan.

lay low.
stay mellow for a second.
stellar stolen record
cave dweller with
stage presence
I am angel dust
in the devil's lungs.

***** blood
forked tongue
love you forever.
or
til things get level again .

whatcha want,
a ****** medal?
well, ****... yeah.

when it's all settled
we won't ever
worry again.
we'll call this melancholy
something funny
we can laugh at.

exactly that.

If we were all special,
then no one would be.

We do **** culture in uhmerica.

What is uhmerican culture anyway?
I'll explain:
it's like,
irrationalized entitlement,
moral decadence on every side
of every fence &
sick narcissistic pride
to be parasitic,
a louse *******
the life out of
the whole **** planet.

Men who have
everything
still die from depression.
Women who call
freedom co-decency
bold faced oppression.

**** first question later.

Hermits complaining
about the rain when
they know **** well
they don't even go outside.

Everyone lies to
everyone lies to
everyone lies to
everyone lies to
everyone.  

See?
It's a cycle.
A spiral.

Maybe it'll go quiet
into the night, or
maybe it'll ignite
the whole **** planet.

Has anyone else noticed
the rise and fall of
Napoleon & the Romans?  

How every worldwide empire dies?  
In a fiery gust of embarassment  
that was the special from the start.

I've grown numb
to the disgust I felt
towards everyone else &
the fact that they're all
kind of beyond helping.

Now I'm just waiting
for it all to fall apart.

you are in the trees,
the twisted branches
that missed chances
to hold hands with
the here, the now

swim thru infinity
somber wanderer,
may you find your
filigree fortune

forever sleep in
springtime orchards

smile, the pressure's
gone lax;
let us lay down...

backs to the bare ground

leave your vessel
to the soil
but your being
to the sky

number 5
number 5
number 5

***** girl. god beast.

I think
Life's amazing &
I hate everything

at the same time.

I live in a state of mind.

this is
pure ******
self loathing.

cloven toed beast thing
clothed in the evening
jovially feasting
on the seedling souls &
the gold seeping thru
holes in the ceiling

cold concrete beings
with a billion eyes
that could **** em all
with the things they seen.

I can't 'just believe.'

There's way too much
wrong with me.


Just how I like it.

this is the season
of the winged rodents
singing corrosively.
eating crows' feet
& bringing
lulling, rolling
waves of heat
heavy humidity

this is irony
for days & days
& daze.

we'll be floating
in an ethereal sea
of humor & stupidity.
the street is sweltering.
but those waters are
still pretty cold.

man.
have some humility.
I hear they give it out free,
it even comes with extra soul.

wanna
start a cult
with me?
cmon.
we can
tell em we
talk to god
& then
everything
we touch
turns to gold.

burning ora.

the barker in charge
is sniffing markers
& the dog's the one
in the shock collar.

good god.
I'll come back

tomorrow.

galapagos, I'm sorry.
rocketship jalopy
wrote a handbook on
banana boat cutthroat
reconnaissance exotica,
abominable
beast of tropic atrophy
broke folk casualty engulfed
in telescopes & TV shows

being monitored thru a monocle
the theatrical apathy & topical misanthropy

can anybody understand me?

give me that meaningless *******
sweet nothing nonsense
sonneting on & off & on again.  
everyday, all day
we were softer shades of comet spitting stars across the cosmos

I feel awful about feeling awful this morning. we were alone together in the dark
lost for the most part.

the sound of lights                
of day & of night inspire me
& I'd like to try to fly even though I'm
really really tired
&I; know I'd end up this
amorphous red inkblot
of blood & chunks of flesh
on the sidewalk.

just an absolute mess.

the fever broke then settled in &
I went the way
of the sugar rush instead.

I like you to death.

I wanna be artistic
**** achromatic
violence like lip biting
& brain
splattered on the walls
of some place sacred
&I; wanna be worshipped like satan.

Sweet Christ.
my hopes are high.
as am I.

you've got a mind
I'd like to **** blind.
so whenever
you've got the time &
if you like
being set on fire.

I could help.

but we aren't friends
otherwise.
& you're selfish.

I will resent you
for the rest of my days,
even if they somehow
find a way to
intertwine with yours again.

I hate you for saving me.
For showing me how
heroic I could be
if I put my mind to it.
For teaching me to
let people in
and making me see
all the love I have to give them.

I'll always hate you for that.

It makes me sick
that I was sick before
and now that I've
regained my health,
I've spread the spores
to everyone else &
now they are infected.


For the record


you did not reject me,
I quarantined myself,

you're so very welcome.


I will resent you
for the rest of my days
for promising me the world
then leaving me to cope alone
with loss and
the paradox of better words.

There is no need for
discernable lines
in the moment
I am content.
there is no need for anything.
but the moment.
naked & anxiously
awaiting reawakening
& my hands betray me
by shaking & blantantly saying
you've swayed me

it's crazy.

today I created nothing
& I am wasted anything
& everything.
but it's okay.
the mosaic is
a face faded
in the foreground.
this is fair ground.

today I'll walk on air
today I'll float on clouds
today I'll foam at the mouth

then I'll roll around
in my beloved filth
that you brought about.
be proud,
I can't be without it.

***** girl. godly beast.

I couldn't be
one of those
beautifuls
if I pleased.

tribal bones stained
with European empirico
I am black death disease,
just human trash
that learned to read

& I believe bootleg genius
is being
massively reproduced
more cheaply & as we speak
is being weakened
so as to be spoon fed
to the cool kids.
yknow they
couldn't do it
by themselves.

never sweated.
laughed instead
yes
I seen em
inchin to the edge
but
I didn't
do anything about it.

I kinda feel guilty
cause I didn't
do anything about it.

It's just a ****** up
awful sound,
a whole generation
hitting the ground
at once.

Man. it really
puts things in perspective.
kinda makes you wonder
what's coming next.

medicine medley
ineffectual
malady infectious
witch hunt etiquette,
I think in pictures
disney depictions of
apocalyptic ****
yet to be decrypted

I rip myself to pieces
every day.

The sky wept
the sky wept
the sky wept
the sky wept
while I leapt,
while I leapt,
well I leapt thru fire.

Gasp sigh perspire.
give me your tired
huddled and heavy laden
that loud light holds us up high
in his left hand and will be *******, man.
we'll be *******, man.

Harvest moon incited madness
granjero in a gas mask
destined
to manifest the liberation front.
watch me kiss the sun.
thirtytwo one, I am done.
canvas demon,
lower the lights &arise.;
like who wouldn't wanna kiss the sky...

Miss 'My,my,my' meet
Major fleet week
now yall dance and drink
each other's blood
doesn't that sound like fun
isn't it so sweet

wonder some
praise the priest
***** mothers ******* sons,
my lachrymose lack of passion
weighs a **** fantastic ton,
I wish someone would come &
divvy me a dole
of fresh faced inspiration
and vintage faded soul...

I am mobile homosapien.
I am not your friend
simply a lazy ally,
I reside in the unfunny pages.

Dated and bathed in flame,
given back to the air
where I came from.
humdrum funk,
under the ugly sun
feelin lovely in the slums.

Undone undone

drank straight
god above
level heaven
contagion.

remember:
lazy approves
of room for error.
snoring counts
as blatantly losing.

blank stare
blank slate

upstairs neighbors
they were making
what could only be
violent love or
beautiful music.

either way
the whole blueprint was shaking,
the sound breaking
a vacant space.

& there was a cloud.
there was
always
a cloud.

sometimes he be spinnin
round & round & rounded
but he usually clucked out
fore ever touching ground.

uhh, shut his mouth.

not saying so long to luck
but the ***** wanted to run.

how he long to get loud
& lost in the crowd
of tired brown-
grays & blacks,
boring blues.

nature,
mother,
lackluster,
satan

kept a written record
of the whether's mood
& heavy surveillance of
his movements
as seen through
***** rear view mirrors.

she said
never better,
never clearer.

so, tomorrow
if we're still
our own & each other's
dearest,
we'll need to find the nearest payphone;
call all world leaders, demand appearance,
then apologize for all our static & interference.

staying the night
up high
in rainclouds
& I feel safe now
when I look down
the wide world
is so small.

we are all
tiny specimen
divinely dissected
subdivided into
lively sections
by wants by fires
by greed by needs
& secret desires;

one nation
under god’s feet
tired slaves perspire
unnecessarily
for possession
& obsess over  
what they each acquire.

it is you, it is I,
and we are
frighteningly alike.

my attention’s quite untidy
all the time
my mind gets redirected
it walks like hell
& talks like heaven.

I am not well
I never have been.

but this hex is a blessing,
it’s too **** precious.

we are spilling
into the ocean
over the edges.
The Land is dead and
has been, days now.
I find it kinda pleasant &  
I wonder if
they’ll ever
get around to
disinfecting the nest
of decaying flesh,
before it infests the rest,
y’know, the ones that got left.

rot is a pox
spread by proxy
& is not bonded
by neither
lock nor key; that’s like,
‘**** what you got
**** what you be
**** what you thought
what you think
what you see.’

*******,
**** me,
**** everyone,
**** everything.

it’s lovely, it’s lovely.

I even think it’s kinda funny,
I laugh at nothing.
Oh, the irony