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  Apr 3 shay
Ivan Lopez
It has been a long time
since I've looked in the mirror
and saw something
that wasn't in agony
or in pain

I looked to see,
a man smiling
and at peace

I see happiness
etched in deceit
warmth, and love
wrapped in death
There was an old journal I came across. A memory box that was written to my parents. I was asking for help, even though my voice was silent.All I could do was pretend like a doll. But how long till the stitchings and threads fall apart and all the stuffings are scattered about. I sometimes wish I could be happy, but the emotion is only borrowed and the collection agency is calling for it back.
  Apr 3 shay
Michaela Ferris
I'm lost inside a labyrinth,
With its ever changing paths.
One minute you're near escaping,
The next it's altered all again.
A never ending nightmare
Thinking it knows what's best for you,
But it's lies are imbedded deep within
And there's nothing more that you can do.

My mind is like a tornado,
Destroying everything in its path.
One day I'm simply surviving
The next, I wish I was dying.
I'm terrified of my mind
For I fear it can make me do.
Self-destructive, hypocrite of pain and love
Beckoning me to hurt once more because that's all I deserve.
  Apr 3 shay
There is such
loneliness in
my heart, and
it consumes me
each deathly night

Weeping I laid
and waited for
the tears to dry,
but they remained
on my face like
a wound that
won’t seem to heal
About last night.
  Apr 3 shay
Gray Dawson
I cried out beautiful anxiety
It’s a pity you heard
You took me in
I might be more trouble than I’m worth
You saw the monsters in me
You looked past it
You saw the dimmed light
And sought to make it shine
  Apr 3 shay
There are monsters crawling up my back.
Sit up straight, cut off the slack!
You never hear their whispering buzz,
Their silent bites. They don’t know ‘enough’.

Do you ever wonder what they speak?
Why do they stay behind where you can’t see?
Do you know how they survive?
These people say “they’re in your mind.”

That would be funny, don’t you agree?
If they were on my back and under seams.
Crawling up my spine behind my eyes
Nibbling away on nerves at night.

There are monsters crawling up my back.
Don’t look away, they might attack.
Scuttering from sight just as you move.
Luckily, there’s nothing you could lose.
  Apr 3 shay
All the memories
moments I’ve had
are all fading to black
exchanged for sadness
and slowly forgotten
  Apr 3 shay
tw self harm

Blood all over
I’m glad
I’m content
It’s only right when I’m wounded
Relapse was inevitable
I don’t even feel guilty...
I just want more....
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