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Mar 2020 · 106
living dead
Mal Mar 2020
im doing nothing
but staying inside
and sleeping in a coffin bed

im doing nothing
but convincing myself
it's okay

to waste into nothingness
Jan 2020 · 36
falling too fast
Mal Jan 2020
no
      no
            no
not again
i fall in love too easily
i'm falling in love too fast
Jan 2020 · 78
Needs
Mal Jan 2020
I want you to kiss me
All over my lips
While I pull you close
And grab your hips
I'm active again ;D
Dec 2019 · 186
The Weather Is Never Better
Mal Dec 2019
It's been a long time since I saw the sun recently

It's been really dark and cloudy lately
Nov 2019 · 323
Cherish
Mal Nov 2019
I can look at you and still admire every single thing about you

Your soft, pink, precious lips
Your round almond shaped eyes, half shut when you smile
You're just so perfect to me

Sometimes, I can't accept the fact that I fell in love with you
But somewhere in my heart, there's a place for you
Even though you left
Nov 2019 · 208
denial
Mal Nov 2019
it's not true
these feelings
they're not true


please tell me that they're not true
I'm in denial about my feelings. And I honestly don't know why...
Nov 2019 · 115
this is just to say
Mal Nov 2019
i have taken
your sweater
that was in the closet

and which
you were probably
ready to wear

forgive me
its comfort was hugging me so tightly
giving me warmth

im sorry
for i have been yearning for warmth
and now you're cold
so very cold
Mal Nov 2019
I didn't know
That such short words
Could have an impact on me
Oct 2019 · 653
breathless
Mal Oct 2019
kiss me
until i
can't speak
Oct 2019 · 95
20
Mal Oct 2019
20
we didn't even spend a whole month together, but these past 20 days i spent with you took me on a high
Oct 2019 · 315
:)
Mal Oct 2019
:)
just a friendly reminder

don't
forget
to
smile
:D
Sep 2019 · 142
date me please lol
Mal Sep 2019
i don't want to be friends

i want to kiss your lips
♡♡♡
Aug 2019 · 141
f a d e
Mal Aug 2019
you disappeared
but i'm still here
i hope you're happy without me
Aug 2019 · 428
i want to know
Mal Aug 2019
I want to know
Where can I go
When you're not around
sorry I haven't been active :')
Jul 2019 · 223
after
Mal Jul 2019
after all we had
and every moment we have shared
we now act like we never met
Mal Jul 2019
I don't even know how to start this letter. Something within me just had enough courage to.

2. I always imagined this would happen without warning.

3. I know how much you hate reading, but can you at least read this.

4. I wish I could have been more honest with you. I should have never bottled up my emotions; now look at me, I'm a mess.

5. Can you laugh at my joke one more time? I really like the way your cheeks puff up and blush pink.

6. Have I ever told you that you have a nice smile?

7. Let's go to the park, I want to see the sunset before I go.

8. Thank you so much for spamming me memes at 3am.

9. I've been saving money for a special event, I'm doubting you'll like it.

10. When I was 11, on Halloween I finally gathered everything I needed in order to be Batman. Rope, blades and boomerangs. I kept them in a box just in case if I needed to use them in the future.

11. I came home on Sunday and found your favorite black scarf. I wore it tightly around my neck; I can feel your warmth, it even smells like you.

12. How can something you love so mush just disappear right in front of your eyes.

13. I can show you how we can be together forever. But it'll take more time for you.

14. I bought you your favorite ice cream, cookies and cream. I left it in the freezer. But remember, when it melts, I won't be there to clean it up for you.

15. Don't worry, I'll try harder next time.

16. You don't need to make me your famous mashed potatoes and gravy. I'll be out of town. But oh man, I'll sure miss eating that.

17. I love you more than you'll ever know. But I'm not sorry.

18. You don't have to bring flowers, I don't want them to set off your allergies.
suicides notes are love letters
Jul 2019 · 180
pills
Mal Jul 2019
sometimes
i wish that there was a pill
to heal my heart
Jul 2019 · 393
Name in the Sand
Mal Jul 2019
Here at the ocean it's quiet, calm.
Listen to the tides as it guides you through your problems.
Let the waves wash away your worries.
Run your feet through the sand with no shame.
Swim to the deep side as your sadness seeps into the blues.
Let the current carry you back to land.
But before we leave, spell your name in the sand.
A day at the beach
Jul 2019 · 215
risk
Mal Jul 2019
i'm more likely to die
in my own hands
then by ******
I'm in a really dark place right now.
Jun 2019 · 182
cancer took another one
Mal Jun 2019
You're in a better place
You'll will never suffer again
You're in peace

But don't worry
Just be patient
We'll meet again
My grandmom and stepmom passed away recently by cancer. They were such strong people. I love them dearly, I wish I could have told them that.
6.14.19/6.23.19 you both will remain treasured in my heart.
Jun 2019 · 366
hell
Mal Jun 2019
i wanted to give myself peace
but i only got hell
Jun 2019 · 851
Rose
Mal Jun 2019
You were like a rose
I held onto you for too long
And you hurt me
Jun 2019 · 159
no estoy bien
Mal Jun 2019
even if i could take all the words
from every language
i still could not describe how broken i am
Jun 2019 · 293
</3
Mal Jun 2019
</3
don't love someone
who doesn't love you
the same way back
Jun 2019 · 821
NIGHTMARE
Mal Jun 2019
Take a peek inside my mind.

Are you scared yet?
Jun 2019 · 351
caramel mocha iced coffee
Mal Jun 2019
you're the caramel to my coffee
your sweetness, so soothing to taste
you're the sugar
the cream

your cup of coffee never fails to bring a smile onto my face
i don't care what time of the day it is, i will always want your cup

my coffee is black
soft and plain
bitter to taste
the mocha
i wasn't important

my cup of coffee wasn't good enough for you
you tasted me once, maybe a couple times

i used to drink you slowly
get every flavor in
enjoyed every sip
you brought warmth into my heart
and as soon as i could get my hands onto you, i would savor you everytime

you used to drink me fast
you swallowed me up like i was a good-for-nothing
you didn't savor me at all
i hope i at least burnt your tongue

i wanted you to be the caramel to my mocha coffee
and you knew that

but my tongue is swollen
i didn't blow before i took a sip
and you hurt me

now i'm an iced coffee
cold
distant
uncommunicative

i miss savoring you
i don't care if we're both iced coffee
but now
will you please
be the caramel to my mocha iced coffee
i got inspired by another poem i read

and i want some coffee
Jun 2019 · 126
broken clocks
Mal Jun 2019
all i got
are these broken clocks
that stops time
and locks my future
depression makes a future hard to have
May 2019 · 144
what is life?
Mal May 2019
what is this place we call life
where i'm always stereotyped

is it my skin?
is my blackness offensive?

black bodies running for their lives
trying to survive this genocide

is it the way i dress?
is it the way i talk?

getting beat up on my own block
getting shot five times with a glock

i couldn't even say goodbye to my mama
i couldn't even say goodbye to anyone

so you tell me
what is life?
a poem i did for school
May 2019 · 310
pretty girl
Mal May 2019
Mom says that I'm a pretty girl in need to be dressed up in dresses.
That I should like pretty pink princesses.
But I only sink more and more into the depressants.
I'm not your little girl anymore.
May 2019 · 312
Mother
Mal May 2019
shout-out to the moms who have lost their children
to the mothers that lost their mother
mothers with strained child relationships
mothers with strained mother relationships
mothers who were forced to become a mother

shout-out to lesbian moms
single moms who work their *** off
those who are yearning to become mothers
mothers who cant have their own children so they chose adoption
mothers who were named max but are now named mia

your're doing amazing. keep up the work!
much love to moms and everyone. :)
Happy Mother's Day ♡
May 2019 · 177
bad weather
Mal May 2019
i cant explain that homophobia is ripping holes through my sweaters and clothes and i am shivering.

the whistling wind whispering in my ear keeps telling me that my love is not authentic.
no, my sexuality is not your aesthetic.

but the whispering starts roaring.
the swarming hatred speeches of rain starts pouring from clouds of ignorance.

venomous lightning that will soon strike down.
and when it does, the venom will soon take over my body.
and shatter my heart.

cause my umbrella cannot contain this bad weather.
May 2019 · 138
School
Mal May 2019
Why should I let a single letter, number, or percentage define how intelligent I really am?
school is really kicking my *** right now
May 2019 · 1.4k
Fingers
Mal May 2019
Take those fingers out of your mouth
Stop counting every calorie
You are not a mathematician


Because you always hated math
May 2019 · 194
That Old Rhyme
Mal May 2019
They say sticks and stones may break our bones
But what they don't know
Is that words can hurt too
Apr 2019 · 122
brain dead
Mal Apr 2019
its dark
the stage is bright
i look to my right, its my wife, my children
i now feel peaceful

ouch, my neck hurts
oh? its dark again
i cant hear, i cant move, i cant speak
i feel weak, i think i'm dead
now the only thing i can think instead, is wish i could've said goodbye
a poem about Lincoln's death for a project at school
Apr 2019 · 173
Gettysburg Address
Mal Apr 2019
Brave men
Some living
A lot dead
We'll never forget what they did here
The world will note, remember, what we say here
This nation will never disappear
For the people shall not perish from Earth
These dead shall not have died in vain
Just end all this pain
But we'll always remain a new birth of freedom
a poem i did for a school project in history class
Apr 2019 · 2.2k
Blind
Mal Apr 2019
You cut out my eyes.
You fed me with lies.
And now I can never see again.
Apr 2019 · 113
It's You
Mal Apr 2019
You brighten my day brighter than the sun shines on a sunny day.

Sweet soft skin so precious to touch that if you touch me with your solicitude, you might just crack by my insecurities.

Your immaturity is the only thing that can make me laugh from our stupidity.

Your voice, so gentle to the ear that my skin tingles with pleasure like rainy day weather trickling down my body.

You are the reason why I'm still alive.
Why I'm still trying to eventually evolve into something nice.

all
simply
because
of
you
Apr 2019 · 363
?
Mal Apr 2019
?
why can't i
go to a place
where im okay?
:(
Apr 2019 · 337
sorry not sorry
Mal Apr 2019
tell my friends that i love them
but im not coming back
and im not sorry
sorry
Apr 2019 · 562
amnesia
Mal Apr 2019
its the last walk through memory lane
i have memories of you, of us
but no matter how hard i try to stalk those memories back
my memory doesn't seem to last forever
i forgot a lot of things.
from the way you walk to the way you talk.
Apr 2019 · 424
Smile
Mal Apr 2019
I'm just missing your love and your smile.
And I never want to see you with a frown.
Just smile, please. For me?
Apr 2019 · 156
6 Key Questions
Mal Apr 2019
I don't know who to tell.
I don't know what to do.
Why should I tell you?
When do you actually care about me?
Where did you put the key?
The key to the question on how to save myself.
who? what? why? when? where? how?
Apr 2019 · 207
bridge
Mal Apr 2019
take me to the red bridge
i want to see the ocean
   down
falling in slow motion
grey emotions flooding
   splash
my bones are broken
i suddenly feel frozen
   ****
i cant breathe
let me seep into the blues
   drown
now i have to choose
which place am i going to
Between 1937 and 2012, an estimated 1,600 bodies were recovered of people who had jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge.
Apr 2019 · 538
why now
Mal Apr 2019
i want to sleep, but i can't
i want to talk, but i can't

and as i have anxiety, i suffer quietly and write in my diary as tears fall down my face

i'm not tired
i'm still awake

my mind is racing, just give me a brake
my head aches
i'm going insane
its a sunday at 3am, come join me

i really want to sleep, but i can't
why, i don't know why

i see the monster on the side of my bed, and as it enters my head it says, "do you want to be dead instead?"

why
why now
something i wrote at 3am
Apr 2019 · 346
dear best friends :)
Mal Apr 2019
you're my best friend
like a sister or brother

you're an undercover angel, so precious
you make life worth living, so stop wishing you were given death in its hands

we're still at the very beginning, existing
killing the past, fixing the future

do not fade out this perfect picture
i love you too much to break this sculpture

— The End —