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I can hear your back crack,
in the dark.
Removing your underwear
with chewed fingernails:
You softly ask
if we can share scar tissue
and if I'll stay
despite every issue.

You try to kick the covers
off of our bed,
and ask if we can share the thoughts
buzzing inside of your head.

When insomnia erases your eyes
and disease steals your brain:
You inhale ways to die,
because you still dream
but it's not the same.

I can hear the static in your skull.
I know why you keep
the kitchen knives dull.
You pull on my fingers
so I don't forget you.
You cry on the pillows
and hope I like romance too.

I kiss your temple
during each thunderstorm.
I read you books in bed,
because your eyes are worn.
I put my ear to your chest
because I want you to see
that the air you breathe
means everything to me.
You think you're a lost cause
but you're just stuck in the middle.
Life's been hard since you were little.
I don't know every thing,
but I know it's getting warm outside
and you're going to be fine.

You think you're a cancer
but just wait and see
that you'll heal yourself,
like you helped heal me.
This may sound cliché,
but it's getting warm outside  
and you're going to be fine.
Good morning thing of beauty for I wrote you before you wake,
Good morning thing of beauty for my breath you surely take,
Good morning thing of beauty you're the reason my heart aches,
Good morning thing of beauty for a smile I wish to make.
Love, Michael
 Nov 2014 smallhands
ryn
Trifold
 Nov 2014 smallhands
ryn
Step 1: Make the decision.

Step 2: Take the blind leap.

Step 3: Follow through with conviction.

I think the last is the hardest to keep.
There was this moment
and this moment was not like any other
In this moment, we became eternal

Like a stranger I fell upon this awakened feeling of longing
Longing to shake my feathers free and fly
But I clipped my wings long ago and the feathers sit at the bottom of the cage
Wasted delight in the stoppage of flight
So here I am, vulnerable and the cage within my cage, the bones
rattle out of place, finding refuge in the lost spaces of my soul

I believe in the blindness of fear, leading me into uncertainty
I placed my faith in the cathedral in my heart
Brick, stone, and stained glass, my frightful temple crumbled to dust

Let the rain flow and the mud sift through and I rebuilt that church of blood and bone to a finite state
There you came into this church a flower that has bloomed brighter than the rest
Your colors squeeze life from nothing and breathe into me

I'm a patchwork of failures and regret but there is a work of art that calls to me
Hammer the nails into the body and lift like a prayer to the sky
It's a terrible thing to waste the sunlight always breaks the day
And the past isn't going anywhere, but this moment is who we are

So let's live
Let's love
Let's fight
Let's fail
Let's fall
Let's wander
Let's forget
Let's remember

Let's live by the beauty that frees us
When this testament surrounds you, I'll be waiting in this church
Of wine and celebration
Because we have a life and let us bring it to the end and hand it to the next person and say, "I didn't waste mine, Now it's your turn."

So won't you dance in the mud with me and sing in the night,
I will cover you and never let go.
There are pleas
that disguise themselves
in trees
that whisper in the dark-
Like a crinkle in a kiss,
or the words that you'll miss;
too late for meds,
too late for sleep
this time.

We ride on the beaches
with cool kids and leeches.
We **** blow off the ground
because there are times you feel,
and some you fake
when everyone is around.
The bodies in red
that you leave in your head.

The trees tesellate
into nooses and goodbyes.
And I swear this isn't the first time
that you've loved me
like it's the last time;
when I've been something to lose.
The love you have
is the love you refuse.

Your cries are milk-
I wish your cancer was mine.
To be a mistake.
To be left behind.
In a dark and distant galaxy-
Upon a new world I seek-
You're healthy and smiling-
because, because, because, because
there is nothing as romantic
as dying on your kitchen floor-
There is nothing romantic
about waiting for you
to come home
from war.

Daughter, daughter
on the wall-
Why'd you let your picture fall?
Killing yourself for instant
pseudo-safety-
Killing yourself for nothing, maybe-
But the gun is still pretend enough
to put into your mouth and bluff
And say that no one can
save you now-
because, because, because, because:

You are your own lover
and you are your own daughter.
And you're left in hot water
but you stay in to try to forget
that you're cold inside.
And you drown yourself
so you can hide.
 Sep 2014 smallhands
alxndra
you eagerly bit right into me
exposed all I meant to hide
with one bite

but then you took another
and another
again

I know that the skin
seduces the taste buds the most
but I can only hope
that at least one of your teeth
chipped on a piece of my core
Xeroxed vitals on paperplanes
Crashing into window panes
Broken-heart blisters and voyeuristic veins
Appear and create transparent glass stains
Blue-Green grass on the other side
Laying there, our fathers died
Dreams and streams of alcohol
Run from their mouths with no control.
Shaking, breaking, no where to decompose
Skin peeling off of worn down toes.
Tell me where their love goes
Tell me where their love goes
Everything turned into gun-shy eyes
Blue-lipped Sunday surprise
Bodies breaking into waiting
This is nothing but carbon dating
Bottles breaking of ***** that's so clear
That I won't see until they're near
God and Jesus in picture frames
Suburban families with jungle brains
Broken homes and replacement Brad's
401 k's and missing ads
Finding our homes that aren't so black and white
Let us sleep in our dreams tonight
Validation through our existence
Is dead but still our resistance
The tree of life grows in a graveyard-
With my hands around the air,
I imagine you over there-
Sitting under the branches,
inhaling abuse
and
exhaling cursive.
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