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Feb 12 · 415
never
slay Feb 12
I know you don't believe me
Still, I try to give you reasons.
Don't shut me out completely,
Cause I hope we break it even.

I thought I loved a demon, but his wings are like an angel's.
"He's softer than I took him for," I say as I file all his edges.
It's because I'm only human, but at the far end of the spectrum

I trust you thought this through then?
Cause I'm not as strong as I imagined.
I'm misshapen for whatever reason, probably the last one, but

I give you the benefit of all my doubts at my lowest, and
I hold my tongue because you don't deserve my coldest emotions when I'm more focused on how I'm hurting than if I hurt you, and

I wonder what he's thinking in his room alone or how the space is bigger.
If he hears me thinking thoughts towards him or if he's tuned them out forever, but
wherever he is, whatever he does, just know that I would never

My light

My love

Indebted to you, ever
never
Dec 2018 · 312
untitled
slay Dec 2018
Since the **** when did i become so impulsive?
My thoughts are repulsive
I'm a sedentary sulker
I need instant gratification, need to lighten up my aura

Self indulgence is a Taurus, and
I'm a ***** for the chorus
Caught up in your orbit
Like the 6th key on an *****
The pitch of which, like the ***** of my organs,
Faking an ****** to release some endorphins

But that's not me...
I'd rather kick up my feet
One hand on the small of my back, the other feeding me treats

I put a Lindt truffle on my tongue and as it melted it tasted like you,
Folded the wrapper into triangles, tryna get my good side adjacent to you

So let me get you on my couch alone
How ****** hot are you to watch cartoons and get ******?
How ****** hot are you? Put the fan on and go
Take your shirt off or no?
Something's got to give and me what i want is front row
Go on and say something daring, it's just the merlot
Nov 2018 · 7.5k
freestyle
slay Nov 2018
Testing my patience 1 2 3
Mic drop n scramble back to the beat
I be geeked in the streets
But be like Neek in the sheets
****, you Harry Stylin' in your custom Gucci's

I'm so ****** uninspired, my soul has nowhere to be
I'm resonating with nothing that extends beyond the planet
I'm not interested in anything inorganic
All the man made **** is solely for my avatar,
I dont have to play videogames because I already live in one.
The only thing I havent done is **** myself in this life to ascend into the next one
But i know I am a chosen one so I suffer in silence
Said i bare the burden, I am a beacon of light

I mean who you think you are, King Mitus?
Oh my god
You be counting change, im stacking hundreds with my thoughts
I think i drifted way too far last time i astral projected
Cause when i came back they told me Mandela was effected

It's tragic, the tragedy keeps writing itself
God must not be real n we must all have free will
We must all be capable of unspeakable things
With the capacity of becoming unspeakable beings, but
The conscious to speak into the opposite swing
Hello, testing? Testing 1, 2, 3?


It's amazing my attention span isn't longer than (.)45 seconds,
This is reckless
And sometimes that's the only way i know how this thing in my chest works
MAYBE IM JUST BUTTHURT!
MAYBE I JUST WANT MORE ATTENTION!
MAYBE I AM JEALOUS?
MAYBE THIS IS MY DECLARATION!
MAYBE I AM SELFISH?
JUST LET THESE WORDS BE MY PRESERVATION
And my heart hurts
Not important, i just said it off the record
For my mental

And when I meet her, maybe she'll tell me im an angel
But i am much worse,
I'm a temptress, I'm a serpent, I'm a stranger
I am hellbent
On finding my true place in the framework,
I will change them
I will ignite the reformation
Nov 2018 · 5.2k
patience is progress
slay Nov 2018
Patience is progress and
While im basting in sauces
Calculating and calibrating all of my future accomplishments
In a world already too full of Batesian mockers
Feathers and followers
Glammed out like the ***** with her hands out and collars up
When will my *** ever run it up ?
Talk to me back like i owe you one
I can finally let my hair down, **** a bun
**** a lot of things ive outgrown or one up'd
Im so clean with a brush,
Im like a vision and such
I'm a ***** and an ******* at the same time; im ******

Stretching my mind as far as it goes,
Im in over my head and it's starting to show
All my thoughts are the size of my brain will implode
All the venom is leaking from deep in my soul
It's fascinating, time is circlulating faster than i can control
Tell myself that when the self is hibernating
There's a certain self awareness, only comes with reparations
In the void, incarcerated and
It's taking its toll
Whether wasting or waiting,
My kinetics all froze
Am I broke?

Every last breath that I've took
Has been a signal through parallels, my mind's somewhat shook
But this voice in my head is demeaning as ****
I might make myself choke just to shut that ***** up,

I am broke, but

Patience is progress, I'm told
Might tattoo that **** on my eyelids, stay woke
I'm consumed by its growth, ******* creepin, they know
That patience is progress
King Kong with my balled fist
On my chest chiefing and coughing the edge off my concious
I'm not really sure why some of you are so bitter and heartless
To **** a ***** vibe
Regardless stay chillin, im glossy
The bags bout in my pocket
I just stopped for every rose in Persephone's garden, and
Each one is sweeter, I taste Dyonosis
Ugh, I'm so flawless
I swear, one day I'll be better at all of this
Patience is progress
Oct 2018 · 11.6k
spilling tea
slay Oct 2018
Painted realize
Real lies
Contoured my jawline
Choked out fragmented, underchewed bites of asinine rhymes
Forcing my way back up mucked in stomach enzymes
Didnt anyone ever tell you to take your time?
Take smaller bites?
Or like women with strong personalities you bit off more than you could chew?
Drank far less tea than you once thought to brew
Did your mother ever blame herself when you couldnt finish your plate,
Or were you forced to sit there until its contents were scraped
Like the walls of my brain?
Digging my nails so deep into my hair i siphoned a drain
Relinquishing my lungs from the broth of my distain
Now that's where she really sealed my fate;
Letting you up from your dinner place before you cleaned your nightly plate
And so forth you learned what you wanted to take
Was alright with the woman who slaved hours of her day away
For the perfect texture,
Temperature,
Taste testing testamur
SO WHY NOT ME?
No man will ever know all the baby hairs ive tamed,
Couches ive rearranged,
Backs of earrings I've misplaced,
Shaved my legs,
Beat my face,
Smeared a fragrance down the nape n pinned my curls back only to let them fall with the grace you couldn't show.
Setting the dinner table, to which I was prone,
Pouring tea for two until I realized I was drinking alone.
Sep 2018 · 2.1k
viraleiginia beach
slay Sep 2018
I slipped in the hall
On the way to the bathroom
Used to work at the mall
And got matching tattoos
With two girls I don’t know anymore
We’re still friends
It’s just a matter of the disconnect

I drove really far
Searched high and low for
The baby food jar
Where my dad hid his kilos
And the keys to the car
He hid when I smoked cigarettes
It’s a shame
I don’t smoke
I just left them lit

Don’t take it from me
I don’t know nothing
Practice what you preach
But I’m more prone to keeping it in
Don’t ask
I won’t tell
Look at you thinkin that you know me so well

I stayed up real late
And fell asleep in the morning
And she’s sit there and wait
Drive me to school in the mornings
All that’s left of my grades
Are lecture notes of diligent kids
Excuse me
Your notebook
Can I borrow it?

The ice machine’s broke
So our drinks are as lukewarm
As this conversation
Seems we have every day now
And the sad part is
I already know what you’re gonna say
If I hurt myself once
I’d do it twice
And for your benefit I’d do it three times
Sep 2018 · 15.3k
Untitled
slay Sep 2018
Pleasure remains, but so does the pain, I’m going insane

Are you talking to me? Nah, I don’t think so
Are you asking me if I am mad at the world?
Well I’ll have to think, I guess, maybe? I know!
But I really can’t hear you, I have in headphones
Can we take a break? Cause I gotta smoke
Yes, and each one, it is killing me slow
Well technically fast,
E-R the better
I’d love to be deader than how I already feel in my guts on the inside
Black tar suffocating the fluids inside of my spine —
*****, you are a dime

Pleasure remains, but so does the pain, I’m going insane

“Why you so guarded?” Can’t get this enough
Please shut the **** up, my feelings are stuck
I can’t get enough of the **** from the plug
To put me in a coma from smoking too much
Every time I come thru, I water his buds
He got that good good
that fefe
That neek neek
Good gas got me prerolling
His blunts for the morning
When I'm not high, I'm boring
It's my niche through the torment
To numb all external stimulation endured on my journey
In the basement of a haunted house with all Windows boarded

I'm lonely!
Hopelessly, truthfully, desparingly torn between
Extending my warmth or further retreating
I just wanna die without leaving my momma cleaning
The mess of myself all cold and depleting, and
Soaking the carpet to live or to be in.
Beside myself now, oh, how ******* convenient.
The whispers of a woman in a moment once fleeting , but
That won't be me, will it?
Someone make me see different!
One of the versions of myself that I live with, because
I am infinite.
Still I'm human, I have limits
I could still push myself further than what im currently doing,

WHAT AM I PROVING?
i just wrote this *** imstill working on it
Sep 2018 · 13.8k
Greenteachillin
slay Sep 2018
Green tea chillin
Coolin like some villains
Feet on your dash
Hit a dab and we’re trippin
Ridin round bumpin “I pull up with a lemon”
And not cause he. Ain’t livin
But it’s a lowkey type feelin
And I might just catch feelings
Cause I’m in love with myself Nd
U have my image

***** dancing in the mirror
With my jewel toned lover
Wanna please you in the summer
Hot like the Bahamas
Fenty glowin in this heat
Sipping on guava
Don’t get me goin in this heat
Cause imma need a breather

Said lemme hit the ******
Ex flame wildin out
I knew he’d never keep her
Ex flame, cross his heart
I cut that Eddie scissors
Cuz I’m the Queen *****
The big b *****
The big bag wolf got his tail between his knees, *****
Go hard in the paint
Michelangelo his dreams, *****
And my chapel’s pristine
Don’t know who the **** Sistine is

But we’re green tea chillin
It’s a vibe, it’s a feelin
It’s a whole new way of livin
And we always make a killin
Got the summer stacks flowin
Bitty ***** always glowin
All my girls are wing-hoein
Some try to copy what I’m after

Don’t know who you tryna front always talkin louder
I got all my ******* tasting sweet and never sour
Eat it like Chiquita open her up like a flower
When I’m with Nikita we go rounds by the hour
I caresss her in the shower
She’s the smartest ***** I know, her tongue got superpowers
She don’t hit me all that frequent
But she knows that I mean it
When I tell her imma get it she gon feed when I’m eatin
She don’t give a **** if I slide for the weekend
Can I pick you up and take you out this evening?

Next time I see you gimme sugar
It’s proven therapeutic when you’re too nice with it and you look good in it
But better without it, so keep it unbuttoned
Only thing under wraps is our sensual lovin

Wait, did you cop wraps?
nottttr finisheddddd *sampled*
Aug 2018 · 22.9k
Nikita
slay Aug 2018
Braids in her hair with the beads
So I can always hear her walk away from me
Shorty is a dog like me
No telling when I’ll ever sweep her off her feet

She said, “say less” I was silent
I Guess I had to be reminded
She fell off when my doubts hit
Cause I ain’t never really loved a woman
Until I met you
If I have to confess to you
You’re the only one who got me feelings the feels
Ain’t no other woman
No man I’ve been with
Now I’m asking you to patiently

Hear me cry
Girl, it’s almost over gotta get this out of my system
Say goodnight, girl not so long till youre by my side girl , oh girl

I got this feeling for you
You so unique and you cool
My baby Neek, I’m her fool
She so dramatic, I’m coolin on the way
To her crib, two more lights and bang a left
Like I be banging on the door
Like I be banging on that ***
You so **** precious when you smile
And your nose ring catch the light
From the hallway got the door cracked
You the light of my **** life

Girl, cryyyy
it’s almost over gotta get this out of my system
Say goodnight, girl not so long till youre by my side girl , oh girl

I hit the blunt not to think about you
I wasn’t playing when I said he changed you
***** drop to my knees barstool
And back that *** up let you see it full moon

Gimme some ******* warnin’
You gon’ have me jump out of my skin
Fingers up and down my spine when
You unlatching the clasp of my necklace

Girl, cryyyy
Cause it’s been so long since you were by my side say good niiggghhtttt but truth be told it’s a lie

I’m lying naked in this bed
Thinking of how you look undressed like when them lashes off no ******* on
I taste your name in every breath
Aug 2018 · 3.1k
III.
slay Aug 2018
Why you keep doin me *****?
Told you so many times that my tongue turned to sand
And you fell asleep laying in bed while I was talking to you bout that thing that you did
Yeah, that hurt me like ****

I got too much patience in love
You keep ******* me over, im tired of your fuss and your one shoulder hugs
Never enough
I want so much more, diamond tier laden Tiffany’s caking, piping that icing in my red ruby rhinestone
My heart’s in the right place but I’m not a martyr,
Sure I’ll cry when my bed’s cold, I’ll cry once it’s over

I’m an old soul
Can’t pull a fast one on me
Been round the block enough times to know your spit game is weak
I know all your tricks and I’ve seen other versions
****** with you in a past life before I wasn’t a ******
You’re so flirtatious,

I need that good **** , that lovey dovey coo ****, because I am the softest bad *****
won’t lie I be into you heartless that vibe is a must have I’m coppin just gimme somethin to go off of

Why you still look at me sideways?
Make your ****** mind up
I’m so hurt when you touch me babe the way you touch her
****, you were selfish cause i peeped she was fine Nd if you just approached me but instead you keep lyin
Jul 2018 · 32.8k
Francis Bean
slay Jul 2018
Show some patience for me please, im sick of all the instant gratification
Pop a chill pill just to breathe, cause all I see is violent recreation, okay then
Bought a necklace then I sneezed, my neck, my heart, my veins they all are frozen, but I’m chosen

I’m coastin ,
Now for the moment
Sip mimosas, with my feet up
She roll the **** up
My little Nina
Shorty got me drinking just to stay up
I feel messed up
Get fed up
Always gotta hold my money closer

But I miss her
She was like a soulmate and a sister
Then she dissed me, I dissed her
But she came back around like I had kissed her

I walk a line so ****** thin, sometimes I think I’m on a one way track to heaven
Never busted on a lick, because my mind is already a prison, I’m Satan
Hit the break so hard and skid, I can’t believe I’m even here to say this, but when you’re famous

You stay blameless
Blinded by the limelight and the danger
I’m no stranger to her pain, though
She holds on to me and never lets go
Baby, let’s go
She tried to tell me no
Put her hands on me but I enjoyed it

All of Her frustration, I endure it
She cycles back to me, another boredom
Can’t replace me and she knows it
But that doesn’t stop her from searching

Please don’t make this complicated, I just need some time alone to fix this
I keep going cause it hurts so bad to look back the past really got me trippin, from a distance
I’m so sorry Didn’t see you standing there my thoughts are cloudy, tunnel vision

Bae, mind your business
We aren’t there yet
And I’m gonna pretend like you ain’t say that
But you hurt me, can’t forget that
I said I forgave you and I meant that

She blew me over
I’m never sober
I think I’m in love, I never told her
So how come I’m not with her?
She’s my twin flame mirror
I can, I can’t fix her

Never mind, I might just try anyway
Give the world to her, she’s my Francis Bean
Why’d they give a heart to me anyway?
I’m gonna break it just to see what’s on the inside
And if I can, just to see how many times
If I can empathize
Make me second guess myself, I won't fight
I've got so much living left inside this life, but
This life's in my head eating myself alive
If I push the pain aside,

I know I hesitated once, but just know that I will never be mistaken.
Once I learn to trust my gut, these ******* won't even know that it was me who hit them, I'm just playing, and
Maybe by the time I'm done, I'll be a person who even I, myself can live with.
Jan 2018 · 16.6k
1
slay Jan 2018
1
brush my eyelashes out from yours
clasp the nape so not to wake you
purged my blackheads from your pores
i gently exfoliate you
my hair is growing from your head
your nails are shooting out my beds
i file and i shape you

arms and legs unhinged from mine
bares his weight so not to wake me
closed a loop with both our spines
said he wants to figure eight me
i feel his heartbeat in my chest,
and our skin blends with each caress
his presence mediates me

— The End —