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slay Feb 12
I know you don't believe me
Still, I try to give you reasons.
Don't shut me out completely,
Cause I hope we break it even.

I thought I loved a demon, but his wings are like an angel's.
"He's softer than I took him for," I say as I file all his edges.
It's because I'm only human, but at the far end of the spectrum

I trust you thought this through then?
Cause I'm not as strong as I imagined.
I'm misshapen for whatever reason, probably the last one, but

I give you the benefit of all my doubts at my lowest, and
I hold my tongue because you don't deserve my coldest emotions when I'm more focused on how I'm hurting than if I hurt you, and

I wonder what he's thinking in his room alone or how the space is bigger.
If he hears me thinking thoughts towards him or if he's tuned them out forever, but
wherever he is, whatever he does, just know that I would never

My light

My love

Indebted to you, ever
never
slay Dec 2018
Since the **** when did i become so impulsive?
My thoughts are repulsive
I'm a sedentary sulker
I need instant gratification, need to lighten up my aura

Self indulgence is a Taurus, and
I'm a ***** for the chorus
Caught up in your orbit
Like the 6th key on an *****
The pitch of which, like the ***** of my organs,
Faking an ****** to release some endorphins

But that's not me...
I'd rather kick up my feet
One hand on the small of my back, the other feeding me treats

I put a Lindt truffle on my tongue and as it melted it tasted like you,
Folded the wrapper into triangles, tryna get my good side adjacent to you

So let me get you on my couch alone
How ****** hot are you to watch cartoons and get ******?
How ****** hot are you? Put the fan on and go
Take your shirt off or no?
Something's got to give and me what i want is front row
Go on and say something daring, it's just the merlot
slay Nov 2018
Testing my patience 1 2 3
Mic drop n scramble back to the beat
I be geeked in the streets
But be like Neek in the sheets
****, you Harry Stylin' in your custom Gucci's

I'm so ****** uninspired, my soul has nowhere to be
I'm resonating with nothing that extends beyond the planet
I'm not interested in anything inorganic
All the man made **** is solely for my avatar,
I dont have to play videogames because I already live in one.
The only thing I havent done is **** myself in this life to ascend into the next one
But i know I am a chosen one so I suffer in silence
Said i bare the burden, I am a beacon of light

I mean who you think you are, King Mitus?
Oh my god
You be counting change, im stacking hundreds with my thoughts
I think i drifted way too far last time i astral projected
Cause when i came back they told me Mandela was effected

It's tragic, the tragedy keeps writing itself
God must not be real n we must all have free will
We must all be capable of unspeakable things
With the capacity of becoming unspeakable beings, but
The conscious to speak into the opposite swing
Hello, testing? Testing 1, 2, 3?


It's amazing my attention span isn't longer than (.)45 seconds,
This is reckless
And sometimes that's the only way i know how this thing in my chest works
MAYBE IM JUST BUTTHURT!
MAYBE I JUST WANT MORE ATTENTION!
MAYBE I AM JEALOUS?
MAYBE THIS IS MY DECLARATION!
MAYBE I AM SELFISH?
JUST LET THESE WORDS BE MY PRESERVATION
And my heart hurts
Not important, i just said it off the record
For my mental

And when I meet her, maybe she'll tell me im an angel
But i am much worse,
I'm a temptress, I'm a serpent, I'm a stranger
I am hellbent
On finding my true place in the framework,
I will change them
I will ignite the reformation
slay Nov 2018
Patience is progress and
While im basting in sauces
Calculating and calibrating all of my future accomplishments
In a world already too full of Batesian mockers
Feathers and followers
Glammed out like the ***** with her hands out and collars up
When will my *** ever run it up ?
Talk to me back like i owe you one
I can finally let my hair down, **** a bun
**** a lot of things ive outgrown or one up'd
Im so clean with a brush,
Im like a vision and such
I'm a ***** and an ******* at the same time; im ******

Stretching my mind as far as it goes,
Im in over my head and it's starting to show
All my thoughts are the size of my brain will implode
All the venom is leaking from deep in my soul
It's fascinating, time is circlulating faster than i can control
Tell myself that when the self is hibernating
There's a certain self awareness, only comes with reparations
In the void, incarcerated and
It's taking its toll
Whether wasting or waiting,
My kinetics all froze
Am I broke?

Every last breath that I've took
Has been a signal through parallels, my mind's somewhat shook
But this voice in my head is demeaning as ****
I might make myself choke just to shut that ***** up,

I am broke, but

Patience is progress, I'm told
Might tattoo that **** on my eyelids, stay woke
I'm consumed by its growth, ******* creepin, they know
That patience is progress
King Kong with my balled fist
On my chest chiefing and coughing the edge off my concious
I'm not really sure why some of you are so bitter and heartless
To **** a ***** vibe
Regardless stay chillin, im glossy
The bags bout in my pocket
I just stopped for every rose in Persephone's garden, and
Each one is sweeter, I taste Dyonosis
Ugh, I'm so flawless
I swear, one day I'll be better at all of this
Patience is progress
slay Oct 2018
Painted realize
Real lies
Contoured my jawline
Choked out fragmented, underchewed bites of asinine rhymes
Forcing my way back up mucked in stomach enzymes
Didnt anyone ever tell you to take your time?
Take smaller bites?
Or like women with strong personalities you bit off more than you could chew?
Drank far less tea than you once thought to brew
Did your mother ever blame herself when you couldnt finish your plate,
Or were you forced to sit there until its contents were scraped
Like the walls of my brain?
Digging my nails so deep into my hair i siphoned a drain
Relinquishing my lungs from the broth of my distain
Now that's where she really sealed my fate;
Letting you up from your dinner place before you cleaned your nightly plate
And so forth you learned what you wanted to take
Was alright with the woman who slaved hours of her day away
For the perfect texture,
Temperature,
Taste testing testamur
SO WHY NOT ME?
No man will ever know all the baby hairs ive tamed,
Couches ive rearranged,
Backs of earrings I've misplaced,
Shaved my legs,
Beat my face,
Smeared a fragrance down the nape n pinned my curls back only to let them fall with the grace you couldn't show.
Setting the dinner table, to which I was prone,
Pouring tea for two until I realized I was drinking alone.
slay Sep 2018
I slipped in the hall
On the way to the bathroom
Used to work at the mall
And got matching tattoos
With two girls I don’t know anymore
We’re still friends
It’s just a matter of the disconnect

I drove really far
Searched high and low for
The baby food jar
Where my dad hid his kilos
And the keys to the car
He hid when I smoked cigarettes
It’s a shame
I don’t smoke
I just left them lit

Don’t take it from me
I don’t know nothing
Practice what you preach
But I’m more prone to keeping it in
Don’t ask
I won’t tell
Look at you thinkin that you know me so well

I stayed up real late
And fell asleep in the morning
And she’s sit there and wait
Drive me to school in the mornings
All that’s left of my grades
Are lecture notes of diligent kids
Excuse me
Your notebook
Can I borrow it?

The ice machine’s broke
So our drinks are as lukewarm
As this conversation
Seems we have every day now
And the sad part is
I already know what you’re gonna say
If I hurt myself once
I’d do it twice
And for your benefit I’d do it three times
slay Sep 2018
Pleasure remains, but so does the pain, I’m going insane

Are you talking to me? Nah, I don’t think so
Are you asking me if I am mad at the world?
Well I’ll have to think, I guess, maybe? I know!
But I really can’t hear you, I have in headphones
Can we take a break? Cause I gotta smoke
Yes, and each one, it is killing me slow
Well technically fast,
E-R the better
I’d love to be deader than how I already feel in my guts on the inside
Black tar suffocating the fluids inside of my spine —
*****, you are a dime

Pleasure remains, but so does the pain, I’m going insane

“Why you so guarded?” Can’t get this enough
Please shut the **** up, my feelings are stuck
I can’t get enough of the **** from the plug
To put me in a coma from smoking too much
Every time I come thru, I water his buds
He got that good good
that fefe
That neek neek
Good gas got me prerolling
His blunts for the morning
When I'm not high, I'm boring
It's my niche through the torment
To numb all external stimulation endured on my journey
In the basement of a haunted house with all Windows boarded

I'm lonely!
Hopelessly, truthfully, desparingly torn between
Extending my warmth or further retreating
I just wanna die without leaving my momma cleaning
The mess of myself all cold and depleting, and
Soaking the carpet to live or to be in.
Beside myself now, oh, how ******* convenient.
The whispers of a woman in a moment once fleeting , but
That won't be me, will it?
Someone make me see different!
One of the versions of myself that I live with, because
I am infinite.
Still I'm human, I have limits
I could still push myself further than what im currently doing,

WHAT AM I PROVING?
i just wrote this *** imstill working on it
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