i.
love bites as dark as the circles under my eyes like tags on my body mimicking name brands to fake worth that's not there

ii.
hello love to pretty strangers to have soft words fill the loud silence between empty bodies

iii.
flinching from bumping into someone in the store and shrinking away from a strangers smile because the feeling of being used echos beneath your skin

iv.
finding yourself comparing new people to the old and letting your heart break when they don't compare

v.
finding yourself glowing when the sun is high then finding yourself high and lonely with the stars

s.s

be with the one who sees constellations on your skin and treats you as the brightest star in the sky
be with the one whose arms feel like home and you’d run to drunk in a room of everyone you’ve ever loved
be with the one who is satisfied with just your company and needs nothing more from you but your presence
be with the one who does everything in their ability just to make you happy and doesn’t let you go to sleep sad
be with the one who distractedly traces your skin just to remind them that such a wonderful person is not a figment of their imagination
be with the person that restores your faith in true love and good people
be with that person because they are not common and never let them go

s.s

clouded head pounding with a sense of regret
is it regret? or is it a yearning for  what I once had?
confused by your sudden actions, you keep tugging at heart strings that are almost threads, barely holding together
head spinning, this room I sit in seems to be shrinking, the dark seems to overtake the little light that spills in under the space between the door and hard wooden floors
clutching my head in agony, my heart is screaming at the pain you inflict on tugging at the strings
i feel a slice, cut the strings in half, the pain comes to a halt
a brief numb overcomes my body, a silence instills in the room
and then out of thin air, just like your change of mind, all of the pain floods into my veins and I scream out into the abyss
oh the things you can inflict upon me.

remember the boy at the window in the white button down?
and the girl grinning from inside?
remember the two of them sitting under the moon covered in bug spray and each others arms?
remember them talking about a future they claimed they wanted?
remember the look in their eyes when they saw each others faces?
remember how happy they seemed?

turns out, they're liars

that boy called her outside to taste her skin and kept her in his back pocket so on his bad nights he could take her out and pour himself into her to forget his problems. he did not love the girl, she was simply an addition to his body count.

that girl wrote ****** poetry and told everyone she was great to hide the fact that she wanted to scream and burn every reminder of that boy from her memory because she knew she was just an object. she told the stars she did not love him and her subconscious filled her dreams with his face.

they were filthy liars,
hooked on the idea of love


s.s

to the boy
who is learning
my favorite song
on piano
just to make
me smile
thank you
for reminding me
that some boys are sweet
like the melodies you play
and not all
are nails on chalkboard

s.s

let's have a meeting
on the bathroom floor
doesn't matter where
my place or yours
you can poor a drink
and i'll poor my eyes out
i'll tell you what i hate about you
until you just blackout
because you just drown problems
and i am one of them too
because you never cared about me
i was nothing to you
then when you're passed out
and my lungs ache from crying
i'll tell your unconscious self
you made me feel like dying
but then i'd brush your hair back
and drag you to bed
tuck you in to sleep
and kiss your forehead
i would tell you sweet dreams
and feel my chest burn
i hate you for lying
but it seems i never learn
i would care for you
on your death bed
because unlike you
i meant the love that i said

s.s

if you are happy
and living your best life
why
are you drowning your thoughts
in ***** every night
because, my love
you don't numb happiness
you numb pain

s.s