it continues to amaze me
     everyday
how those little things
are so awe worthy
it is so bizarre
how something like a smile
can invoke
     such
        immeasurable
           emotion
or how a pair of eyes
can set fire to your insides
and make you feel a rush
you can't even put into words
it is
all in all
     fascinating
how a single person
can make you want to
     l i v e
when nothing else does

s.s

one day
the clear, endless water
will no longer remind me of you
because you do not deserve that
you are more raging seas
than calm ocean
when i look at you
i should feel the danger
of rough surf
rather than enticement
and the pull of the tides
i will break away
because i know
what a storm like you causes
a destruction
i am still recovering from

s.s

in all honesty
i would rather you hate me
than what you are doing now

i would rather you forget me
and pretend like you never knew me
than what you are doing now

i would rather you scream till i sob
and yell till your throat goes raw
than what you are doing now

because now you use affection as a weapon
and continue to keep my heart in possession
yet never really give me yours

you only come to me when you need something
and i can't say it's anything but crushing
knowing i'm nothing to you

what you are doing is just plain cruel
the pain you’re inflicting is utterly brutal
yes, i honestly wish you would hate me

s.s

i have heard sorrow
in the sobs of my mother
     -a sound you can't unhear

i miss you and i can't sleep
it's like this every night
alone and quiet as i weep
it is a constant fight
it would be so relieving
if you were just nearby
i know this all sounds so cliche
but it's a truth i can't deny
so as i lay here wide awake
there's one thought that repeats
i miss you and i can't sleep
and that's the truth i can not beat

s.s

i kind of like the hurting
because it makes me feel something
other than numb
but god
oh god
i would so much rather
feel the life
that happiness brings

s.s

i am sick of it
i am sick of waking up
only to feel utter emptiness
completely numb to the world
i am sick of talking to “friends”
who couldn't care less
and don't give a **** about me
i am sick of looking at my loved ones
only to see the disappointment i have caused
staring back at me
i am sick of being a failure
when i am trying my best
and somehow doing worst
i am sick of the nights
when i cry my eyes out
feeling worse than ever before
i am sick of living
i am sick of people
i am sick of breathing
i         am        sick

s.s